Kids Say the Darndest Things (September)

Casey started playing this game where you had to run away from a pretend monster before he gets you. And one time when Dan was playing he named the monster “Mr. Play Dough Head” (for whatever reason). But it stuck and that became the game, running away from Mr. Play Dough Head. Then one night I left Casey alone in the kitchen to wash my hands and he started screaming bloody murder. When I came back he was crying and shaking. I frantically asked what was wrong and he said, “Mr. Play Dough Head is going to eat me!” So at some point Casey decided this was no longer a game, this was now a real threat in our house. And that’s how my poor two year old developed a Mr. Play Dough Head phobia.


ME: It’s fall! Do you know what that means? Do you know what’s going to happen soon?

JACK: Yeah, that’s when you drive over the spikes and the wheels pop and we crash.

ME: wtf … I was gonna say Halloween.


CASEY: I’m a dog. Woof woof. I like to taste you. *licks my arm*


Jack was walking around slowly with his head tilted backward.

DAN: What are you doing, buddy? Are you pretending to be a zombie?

JACK: No. I’m just lookin’ at the air.


CASEY: Can you take this band-aid off my banana? *points to the sticker*


DAN: There’s a dragonfly on that branch. Can you see?

JACK: Yeah, I can see everything. I have two eyes.


Everyone else at Chase Field: *clap, clap, clap-clap-clap* LET’S GO D-BACKS!

My two year old: *clap, clap, clap-clap-clap* LET’S GO PEE PANTS!


JACK: Hey Mom, do you know all the coconuts?

ME: … what?

JACK: Like this *singing* Tell me the coconuts. Tell me the coconuts. Tell me the coconuts now… South America, North America, Central America too…

ME: … do you mean “continents”?

JACK: No, it’s just at school.


We put Casey forward facing in the van and now he backseat drives like no bodies business.

CASEY: GREEN MEANS GO, MOM. DRIVE. … see? I helped you.


I was playing with Jack when suddenly he gently brushed my hair behind my ear.

JACK: I really love you like that.

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