Detective Big Nose – The Mummy

October 28, 2021October 12, 2021 valmanwillLeave a comment

And now another tantalizing mystery from the detective series I wrote in 1997…

“A mummy? (This one’s harder)” “Clue: the jewel is red.” “How and who stole the jewel? Let’s find out!”

“Oh no!” cries Big Nose. “The mummy!”
The mummy runs away.
“It’s a picture of Carter. And he has something red,” Maggie said.
“Hmm,” says Big Nose. “I think it’s the jewel,” said Big Nose, pointing to it.

“Meanwhile at Carters…
‘Carter, what’s this?’ Big Nose asked.
‘My bouncy ball,’ Carter says. ‘But if I’m the mummy how come I saw the mummy?’
‘Tell the story,’ Big Nose says pulling out a chair.
‘Well, it was 5:00 when I saw the mummy with the jewel.’
Big Nose thought. ‘Which window?’
‘Just out this west window.’
A huge smile danced across Big Nose’s face. ‘5:00 pm?’
Carter thought. ‘Yes.’
Big Nose slapped some handcuffs across Carter’s wrists.
How did Big Nose know it was Carter?

‘Here’s how: Do you look out a window with the sun shining into it? If Carter looked out a west window, if it was 5:00 PM it would be shining in his eyes, he would have seen nothing.

THE END lol

Resolutions Update: Fall Quarter

October 21, 2021October 12, 2021 valmanwillLeave a comment

4^th Quarter: Resolutions Update (October)

Final inning…

MAKE A LIST OF THINGS TO PUT TOGETHER IN THE NEW HOUSE; DO SOME OF THE THINGS

I’m okay with how this is going. I’m not going to be able to do the entire list but we’ve done a HUGE chunk of it. I’m pleased with our progress. I’ll likely have to re-look at the list next year and tweak things since different needs come up. But so far this is going well.

MAKE A HABIT OF STRETCHING EVERY DAY, SLOWLY BUILD UP A YOGA ROUTINE

Okay. So every day has been tough for me. BUT… one of my best friends and I have decided to do an online yoga class together once a week and that has really helped me out. AT LEAST it’s regular. You know what I mean? AT LEAST it’s something!

CLEAN WHILE THE BOYS ARE IN THE BATH

Yeah, so Jack going to school changed this dynamic dramatically. I now have the ability to create a cleaning schedule like I’ve always wanted. Originally, I had a different cleaning task every day, but then I noticed that I would get burnt out on Thursday and Friday and have a harder time finishing those tasks. SO instead of forcing myself to go through with it, I decided to work with it. And I rescheduled all my cleaning tasks to be done by Wednesday. And that helped a LOT! When I was able to relax my expectation and align my goals with my psyche that REALLY yielded a lot of success.

Which speaking of…

WRITING WRITING EVERYWHERE

I’ve mentioned before that I have this tendency to steam roller into a project and then get burnt out at thirty thousand words. (To paint a picture, I now have FIVE separate novels idling at 30K. Two paranormal thrillers and three contemporary rom coms) SO I sat down and was like… okay, I have this specific problem… I need to work with myself here…

And I plotted a new story. A novella. That would cap at 30k.

The logic here was Hey, man. If writing 30K of a book is what I felt like I could consistently handle. Then I should just make THAT the goal.

And I wrote that novella in less than three weeks.

I GOT A FIRST DRAFT DONE BY FALL. YESSSSSSS. So after that success, I’ve been thinking about things a lot. A lot lot. And I have some exciting news to tell you very soon! Stay tuuuuuned

Kids Say the Darndest Things (September)

October 14, 2021October 12, 2021 valmanwillLeave a comment

Casey started playing this game where you had to run away from a pretend monster before he gets you. And one time when Dan was playing he named the monster “Mr. Play Dough Head” (for whatever reason). But it stuck and that became the game, running away from Mr. Play Dough Head. Then one night I left Casey alone in the kitchen to wash my hands and he started screaming bloody murder. When I came back he was crying and shaking. I frantically asked what was wrong and he said, “Mr. Play Dough Head is going to eat me!” So at some point Casey decided this was no longer a game, this was now a real threat in our house. And that’s how my poor two year old developed a Mr. Play Dough Head phobia.

ME: It’s fall! Do you know what that means? Do you know what’s going to happen soon?

JACK: Yeah, that’s when you drive over the spikes and the wheels pop and we crash.

ME: wtf … I was gonna say Halloween.

CASEY: I’m a dog. Woof woof. I like to taste you. *licks my arm*

Jack was walking around slowly with his head tilted backward.

DAN: What are you doing, buddy? Are you pretending to be a zombie?

JACK: No. I’m just lookin’ at the air.

CASEY: Can you take this band-aid off my banana? *points to the sticker*

DAN: There’s a dragonfly on that branch. Can you see?

JACK: Yeah, I can see everything. I have two eyes.

Everyone else at Chase Field: *clap, clap, clap-clap-clap* LET’S GO D-BACKS!

My two year old: *clap, clap, clap-clap-clap* LET’S GO PEE PANTS!

JACK: Hey Mom, do you know all the coconuts?

ME: … what?

JACK: Like this *singing* Tell me the coconuts. Tell me the coconuts. Tell me the coconuts now… South America, North America, Central America too…

ME: … do you mean “continents”?

JACK: No, it’s just at school.

We put Casey forward facing in the van and now he backseat drives like no bodies business.

CASEY: GREEN MEANS GO, MOM. DRIVE. … see? I helped you.

I was playing with Jack when suddenly he gently brushed my hair behind my ear.

JACK: I really love you like that.