Amish Mac & Cheese

This is my “Oops, we’re out of milk” recipe.

 

amish-prep.jpg

INGREDIENTS:

2 cups cottage cheese (16oz)
2 cups shredded cheese
2 cups water
2 cups macaroni noodles uncooked

Breadcrumbs (if desired)

Amish mac

 

DIRECTIONS:

  • Stir everything together in a 9 x 13 pan
  • Bake uncovered at 300 for 30 mins
  • Take out and stir like you mean it! Sprinkle a bit more cheese and bread crumbs on the top (if you want)
  • Put back in for another 30 mins
  • AND YOU’RE DONE!

 

I have easy recipes like this every month so SUBSCRIBE! Not to mention embarrassing stories and mom stuff, so really… you should subscribe #selfpromotion #shameless

New Writing Projects!

If you had told me this was how my new project announcement was going to go, I would’ve told you NO. That is NOT my plan. But you know what? When you’re a creative person, sometimes you don’t have a choice. And I know that sounds completely psychotic… and it totally is. But it’s almost like your own heart holds you hostage and you cannot freaking help yourself.

I finished writing the final episode of my TV show last month. It took a full year and a LOT of work. Really. A lot. FOR MONTHS I had been so excited to finally be able to move on to this other project (more on this in a sec). But the very day that I finished the show, my mind ran away with the idea… that “Identity Crisis” needs to be turned into a novel.

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See? A lot of work.

Almost 100% of my beta readers have asked me about making a novel out of it. And I mildly toyed with the idea. I knew if I did, it would have to be a TOTAL re-write. The completed series follows my life almost exactly, but for a book version I would prefer it to be cover to cover fictional. Mostly, because hey man… if I’m going to put in the work to write a dang novel, I’m going to put in the work to dang publish it, that’s what! And I ain’t about to publish an autobiography yet.

I was not able to turn off the creative faucet with this idea. I mean it was the kind of idea that keeps you up at night. So I caved and sat down to do a complete brain dump. And you know what happened? The entire outline erupted out onto the page.

That coupled with an outpouring of positive feedback from a Facebook post about the series… I was like, okay… This is what needs to be worked on right now.

So, with that unnecessarily long backstory out of the way!

ANNOUNCEMENT #1!

Yes. I will be re-writing Identity Crisis as a YA Contemporary novel! Woo hoo! The title of the novel will be “The Other Five Percent”. It’s about a girl who has her heart broken and rebels by trying to ruin her reputation in a predominantly conservative high school. (Sorta like “Freaks and Geeks” if it were set in suburban Utah…)

THE OTHER FIVE PERCENT

My plan for this book is to try for the traditional publishing route. Personally for me, that’s a dream that I want to see realized at some point in my life.

I’m also doing this book for NaNoWriMo, because I’m a crazy person.

What’s NaNoWriMo? Oh, National Novel Writing Month? Don’t worry, it’s just this little thing where you write a 50,000 word novel in a 30 FREAKING DAYS. This is my first time trying it out. I don’t even know what to expect, but it’s a good way to puke out the first draft of my book.

ANNOUNCEMENT #2!

I’m still not giving up on the project that I was planning on announcing today.

Here and there and in between (but don’t ask me when) I will also be working on a collection of horror stories that together I’m referring to as “The Doubting Shadow”.

THE DOUBTING SHADOW (2)

Six different women are forced to face their social insecurities by increasingly bizarre and eerie circumstances. Eventually, they come to realize that their greatest fears are only a shadow of something worse.

Although, I feel that the stories would do well in a collection together, I’ll most likely be breaking them up and selling them out individually. It’s just a lot easier to market that way. Maybe one day I’ll be able to put out “The Doubting Shadow”, but right now I want to focus on a novel that I can debut with.

No worries, you can still expect these weird little stories to trickle out over the next couple of years.

DS Alternate

Keep tuning in for more development on these projects! And you can always peruse my “projects page” if you feel like it.

Leaving my mark… in the worst way possible

I would say that 90 – 95% of my embarrassing stories have the same formula. I try to make everyone laugh by doing something socially inappropriate… no one laughs and then it’s just inappropriate.

awkworker

The summer between my junior and senior year I worked at an Arctic Circle. I wasn’t that great of an employee so this event didn’t really help my rep. One day things were slow, which is the perfect recipe for someone* to do something dumb.

*ME

I was standing by the drive-thru window and I was talking to my manager Drew and my best friend Kayla who also worked there. At some point in the conversation Drew casually throws in a cuss word. And Kayla was all like, “What’d you say??”

What a perfect opportunity to be a comedic genius.

PFFFFT

So I giggle and tell him to repeat the word because I’m an eternal sixth grader. He politely declines but I don’t let it go.

“Here, I’ll write it on the board.”

I grab the nearest marker and write a naughty word SO LARGE that it fills the entire white board. I turn to my manager and squeak out a “just kidding” as I erase the board…

Only NOTHING COMES OFF. I keep passing the eraser over the word again and again but it doesn’t even fade. 

“IT’S NOT COMING OFF!!”

horrified-batman

Then my boss calmly informed me that I had just used a permanent marker. And the white board was like built into the wall so we couldn’t even take it down or anything. Everyone that pulled up in the drive-thru got a BIG OL’ OFFENSIVE WORD with their charbroiled burger. Kayla at this point is incapacitated, lying on the ground and laughing so hard at me she’s bawling.

I didn’t work there very long.