Are You Ugly?

GirlMirror
Credit: Norman Rockwell, nrm.org

You are a very attractive person. There… What? You still don’t believe me? Keep reading. I’ll prove it.

I was driving to Salt Lake and that Chainsmokers song came on for the eightieth time that day. I thought to myself, “Wow, one of those guys has kind of a sexy voice.” You know, that deep one that kicks off the first chorus of “Closer”. The more I listened the more I wondered what they looked like. I began to construct a caricature in my mind and as soon as I hit a Wi-Fi spot I ran a Google Image search on my phone. They were better looking than the picture I had in my head.

chainsmokers

But something weird happened… I was really disappointed. I don’t know what I was expecting. I guess I was hoping that The Chainsmokers would be a little uglier… or dressed a lot worse… or something. Anything that would make their “sexy voices” a novelty or a hidden treasure. I didn’t want a fresh-of-the-conveyor-belt billboard kind of dude. My reaction to this experience got me delving into the concept of “beauty”.

Have you ever loved a movie that your best friend hated? Or looked at a piece of high-concept art that you didn’t get at all? That’s because art / beauty is completely subjective.

SUBJECTIVE: (adj) existing in the mind; belonging to the thinking subject rather than to the object of thought.

For example… My favorite article of clothing is a Men’s XL flannel shirt that I got from a thrift store for $5. I adore it. I wear it AT LEAST once a week. I understand that it’s not every girl’s dream to own a floppy man shirt, but it was exactly what I was looking for. Sometimes when I slip it on I think, “At some point, someone didn’t want you”. Maybe it wasn’t their style or maybe it didn’t fit like it used to. For whatever reason it was donated to the thrift store where they decided that it was worth five dollars. But hey man. I would never give this thing up. When I wear it I feel confident and happy. It freaking completes me.

Maybe at some time in your life you were donated to a thrift store. Now you feel like you have a reduced price sticker dangling from your arm. But you know what? Just because it’s trendy to wear a frilly crop-top doesn’t mean EVERY SINGLE PERSON wants to own one. Your unique features, traits and interests are what makes you irreplaceable. When you get your heart broken you don’t ever sit around thinking “Man, I miss dat a$$.” No! You miss the way that person laughs or their taste in music. How are you ever going to find someone else as fun as them? Or someone else that can draw as well, or loves FanFiction X, or plays Jenga or WHATEVER. These are the things that people fall head over heels for and you already have it! I don’t care who you are, YOU HAVE IT! Don’t give away your quirks, because that’s how you’re going to find the right partner. Don’t give away what makes you YOU to become a boring one size fits all robot.

ugval

Last Sunday, I was at church and I had to sit out in the foyer because my toddler was trying to pinch people’s bums through the seats. Typical Sunday. A 90-year-old woman came over to talk to me. She complemented me on how well “I filled out my dress”. Which was surprising, because I was self-conscious that I had filled it out a little too well. She then mentioned that she always had to wear long sleeves because she was embarrassed of how old and frail her arms had gotten over the years. But gosh darn it, when I saw her shuffle slowly out the door on the arm of her equally elderly husband I started to cry. Because that woman is BEAUTIFUL. I can’t even begin to fathom the love that her husband feels for her. And you know what, maybe they were both drop dead hot when they were young! But they’ve outlived the world’s standard and redefined what it is to be attracted to someone.

People will spend all the energy and ignorance of their soul trying to convince you that you should look a certain way. And that’s only because at some point in their lives they gave into the primitive fear of social rejection. Don’t let them fool you. Your worth is not defined by a number or a symmetrical formula. It’s defined by how you live your life. So live. Dream your dreams. You are a beautiful person. I promise.

Love,icon

 

Everyone likes to do different things to feel beautiful. And you know what? That’s totally 100% real and okay! You do you boo! I’m a theater bred girl so my love of make-up is strong, HOLLA! If you have a special occasion that you want to get dolled up for- Katie is your gal. She’s a freelance make-up artist who is all about highlighting your natural beauty. Psst. Here’s her page…

https://www.facebook.com/JamesDeanLover

 

 

Lemon Garlic Butter Salmon

This is the perfect meal if you don’t want to put a lot of effort into it but still -appear- as if you did.

 

fishing

INGREDIENTS:

2 Salmon Fillets

1/4 cup of butter (half a stick)

1 Tsp of lemon pepper

1 Tsp of garlic powder

Bushel of asparagus

Virgin olive oil

 

 

DIRECTIONS:

Wash and snap the asparagus to a size a little longer than your salmon. Lay the asparagus side by side on a baking sheet and drizzle olive oil over them. Set the fillets on top. Melt the butter in the microwave and stir in your lemon pepper and garlic powder. Pour the butter onto each salmon fillet. Bake uncovered at 420 for 20 minutes.

Fish dinner

 

If you have your own easy recipes or food blog, share the link below so everyone can check them out!

 

6 Things I’ve Learned Writing About Myself

I’m about to finish writing the final season of my TV show project, which will be an INCREDIBLE accomplishment. It has been a full year and 200,000+ words of what I hope to look back on and consider the beginning of my “writing career”. In honor of its closing I wanted to talk about what I’ve learned on this auto-biographical journey:

 

1. Things that I didn’t think we’re such a big deal turned out to be pivotal moments in my life.

Honestly, I had SO much self-discovery during this project. There were scenes that got me double thinking of why I had chosen that particular thing to write in. But overall, those little moments uncovered my flaws, my greatest strengths and some deeply ingrained fears. In re-reading episodes, I often put myself on the psychiatrist couch and just learned all about Val.

 

2. Things that were irritating at the time turned out to be the funniest things to write.

On the other hand, things that were SUCH A BIG DEAL in my teenage world turned out to be nothing. Writing my over-dramatic reactions had me laughing out loud a lot.

emoren
Pictured: Me.

3. Writing someone else’s POV caused me to develop a deeper respect for them.

When I was FORCED to come up with reasons why person X did reaction Y it really made me appreciate that person in real life… even if those reasons were completely fabricated. This happened with nearly everyone I wrote about. The more scenes I constructed the more I realized that these guys are some DANG STRONG CHARACTERS. Being able to be that ghostly third-person presence, really helped me to change my perspective.

 

4. I am a little to a lot conceited…

It is really difficult not to twist things to make yourself seem really great… Soooo this is embarrassing… there are five different male characters who are in love with Elle. Oops. That doesn’t seem bad, but considering how few consistent characters there are… it comes off as A LOT. I think I did this because I was so flattered when anyone liked me that I wanted to write about all of them… all five. I’m sure when my children pick up these old manuscripts they’ll either cringe or roll their eyes.

Breakfast-Club-So-Popular

5. Human memory is really unreliable

Pardon my symbols, but this is freaky as $^*%. I actually had accrued false memories over a ten year span. Memory is a joke. This one scene had me so freaked out, I was wrapping tin foil around my head and crying on the floor. This is how I remembered the memory: I was asked out on a date in the summer… But then I told a friend about it at school who came over after to help me do my hair… But then one of the guys on the date had brass knuckles in a FREAKING COAT POCKET. But guess what? It all took place during the summer after all. What the what!? How can you trust anything that has happened to you in your lifetime? Doesn’t that concept just CREEP YOU OUT?

 

6. I plan to keep writing.

I really have enjoyed every minute that I’ve poured into these pages and I have a lot more stories to tell. . .

In fact. . .

I will be announcing my next project in September!!!!

new project announcement

Be very excited.

 

 

If you can’t wait for my new mysterious project, then let me tell you where to accrue some good reading. Usborne Books is really cool. They have tons of amazing educational kids books. If you’re a mom or a teacher or a weird hybrid mix like me, this is a great resource for you:

J6433.myubam.com

 

And if you want to know more about my-life-turned-TV-show click HERE.