My Kids Say the Darndest Things (April 2021)

JACK: (stretches his shirt out for Dan to see) What does this shirt say?

DAN: (reading) “My brother is awesome”

JACK: (skeptical face) … Is this Casey’s shirt?


Casey puts on daddy’s shoes.

CASEY: Byeeeee! See you tomorrow!

Shuffles to the door.

CASEY: (quietly to himself) I’m a grown up.

CASEY: (holding a bell pepper) It’s an apple!

JACK: No, it’s a pepper-mint!


CASEY: (points to my gross mom bun on my head) I like your ice cream, Mommy.


CASEY: I can’t reach the sun! I want to grab the sun! *grunting and stretching* It’s too tall in the sky!


JACK: (lovingly brushes my hair off my forehead) You’re hair is slipping on your brain a lil bit.

CASEY: (stops and sniffs a flower) Mmm! So smelly!


JACK: (looking into my eyes) Wow, your eyes are so green. They’re like circle flowers in there. They’re so cool

2021 Resolutions Update: Spring

Well, we’re a quarter of the way done with 2021 if you can freaking believe that. So it’s time to look back and (yikes) see how I’ve been doing with the goals I made at the beginning of the year:

MAKE A LIST OF THINGS TO PUT TOGETHER IN THE NEW HOUSE; DO SOME OF THE THINGS

I’ve made the giant comprehensive list and I’ve done some things! It’s still going slower than I would prefer but at least some of it has gotten done. In my last post, I said I was going to work on a room at a time. But I discovered that that method is not as efficient as I originally thought. A lot of the things on the list were easier to do in batches, like doing ONE big Amazon purchase or dusting ALL the ceiling fans in the house. But I figure as long as I’m crossing things off the list, that’s all that matters.

MAKE A HABIT OF STRETCHING EVERY DAY, SLOWLY BUILD UP A YOGA ROUTINE

So I really thought that this was going to be my failed goal. But I’m so proud to tell you that I’ve rocked this one! I was right when I said that ten minute stretching would feel doable in my daily schedule. And I was able to incorporate the Yoga right away! So I’m happy about this one.

CLEAN WHILE THE BOYS ARE IN THE BATH

When I originally came up with this idea, I seriously miscalculated how busy my husband’s schedule was going to be. We were able to pull this system off a lot of the time, but there were many nights were I was bathing the kids by myself. This is a two man goal haha! I’m going to hang on to this goal/idea for another few months because my husband’s schedule is supposed to clear up a little. We’ll see what the next update says.

WRITING WRITING EVERYWHERE

  1. I sent Love Me Do to the query trenches! Good for me… and also I need a hug.
  2. The paranormal thriller … soooooooo about that haha. I was fully planning on finishing the first draft of the thing sometime this year… until new shiny idea happened. And actually, technically it’s an “old shiny idea”. I’ve been dying to write this YA ever since I was a teenager myself and even started writing it several years ago!… Listen, don’t be upset. It’s still a thriller with paranormal elements… How about this, how about as long as I have SOME kind of a first draft by the end of this year. Um, that’s not impossible… is it??
  3. Blog once a week. Okay, I’ve been doing pretty well so far!
  4. Publish a short story. Ugh. I don’t know. I’m already emotionally drained just from anticipating my query rejections. Maybe, I’ll let this one go… maybe

So far, not terrible. I’ll let you know how things slip in July hahaha!

What You Can Expect From Season 2 of Ginny and Georgia

Disclaimer. I don’t work for Netflix (obviously), these are just my predictions based off of what they did with Season One. Second Disclaimer: SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS

GINNY IS GOING TO POETICALLY RUN INTO THE SAME MOTORCYCLE GANG AS HER MOM

I don’t know if she’ll *join* said Motorcycle gang. I think it’ll be a entire b story episode where they teach her to use a gun or something. And then when they’re all pressuring her at the end to join the gang, she’ll run away with an overlaying monologue about how “She’s not her mom.”

MARCUS IS GOING TO CHASE HIS MOTORCYCLE… I MEAN GINNY

Yeah so some characters will care more than others about runaway Ginny. Marcus will dramatically leave everything behind to find her because he’s soOoOO iN loVe.

TOP OF EPISODE ONE, GEORGIA IS GONNA KNOW SHE KNOWS

They left the poisonous flowers smoldering in the fireplace. I mean I don’t really know why else they would have dramatically blow torched them for any other reason than to have Georgia find them.

Georgia will chase Ginny and manipulate people along the way with that really uncomfortable smile that evokes Freaky Fred from Courage the Cowardly Dog.

Subscribe if I ain’t wrong.

PAUL IS GOING TO BE REVELEAD AS A FELLOW CRIMINAL

Remember when Paul proposed and was yelling gruffly at her that they both needed power. LOLOLOL if that ain’t sus I don’t know what. He also had such a nonreaction about the embezzling accusation that that makes me think we’ll discover that he was the one who paid it off and probs embezzles too.

He’ll team up with Georgia and use his power as mayor to do a bunch of sketchy things.

ZION IS GOING TO HAVE A “SHOCKING” DEATH (SORRY GUYS)

From four miles away, I can smell a character who is too-pure-to-not-be-a-plot-motivating-death. He’s probably going to die doing some noble thing like telling Ginny to return to Pumpkin Spice Land or saving her or something. But don’t feel too bad, because Ginny will discover his unpublished manuscript and then he’ll become this soft voice-over narrator throughout the rest of the season.

WE’LL DISCOVER THAT GEORGIA HAS KILLED MORE PEOPLE

Prepare to be hooked by more of Georgia’s backstory and wade through hours of Ginny cry-yelling at her friends to see more flashbacks.

HUNTER IS GOING TO BE OUTED AS GAY

Okay I know they’re probably not going to actually do this… but doesn’t this make some damn sense. Remember when they had that whole scene about how “he hadn’t grabbed her boob yet”. Think about it. Think about his cute lil tap dance in the halls. He never actually sang her name in the song he wrote… what if that crap is about Brody? Maybe that’s why he ALWAYS hangs around him instead of alone with Ginny. Amirite or amirite??

I think he’s closeted because of the high expectations of his cold weird mom who literally only cares about his college application for some reason. And I also think this is going to be a storyline because Georgia and Ginny tries to cover every single teen issue they can possibly think of and no one’s been hiding their sexuality yet.

NORA IS ACTUALLY GOING TO GET A STORYLINE AND IT’S GOING TO BE A HOT TEEN ISSUE™

NICK IS GOING TO DISCOVER HIS BF IS AN UNDERCOVER PI

I don’t know why but I imagine a scenario where Nick catches him in a lie, thinks he’s cheating and goes through his phone. I also imagine that out of PURE SPITE, he’s gonna cover for Georgia or lead his BF to a red herring.

Just sayin’, but that episode where he shows up at the birthday part in drag. He looked exactly like me.

Subscribe if I ain’t wrong.

That Time I Embarrassed the Whole Human Race

Here’s an embarrassing story,

So this one night, Dan and I were getting ready for bed and both boys were asleep. It was… maybe around midnight? I don’t remember the exact time, but I remember it was late because Dan and I were binging Hoarders and we both agreed that she shouldn’t have watched the last episode and were about to be exhausted the next day.

Anyway, it was late.

So I’m doing the nightly routine, I’m brushing my teeth, taking out my contacts, etc. etc. And I heard a familiar sound coming from the hallway outside of my bedroom. The sound that parents most dread in the middle of the night. The pitter patter of little feet. I was trying to make Dan go check instead of me. But he had ALSO taken his contacts out and is conveniently more blind than me, so it was my turn to do the dirty deed. I crossed my fingers and hoped that no one was sick and that this would be the only waking instance for the night.

I went into the hallway and it was kind of dim… but I could make out the outline of one of the kids. But they look so dang similar I wasn’t sure which one. Plus I had my contacts out, so I had to squint really hard as I inched closer.

And then I realized… this was not actually one of my kids in green pajamas… this was a teeny tiny green man.

I was like Okay… what in the actual H-E-double-hockey-sticks am I looking at here?? I blinked a couple of times. As if that would help. Eyes not working? Have you tried turning them off and on? That wouldn’t have worked for blind-as-a-bat Dan, he would’ve picked up whatever it was and put it in one of our kid’s beds.

So I’m face to face with this… whatever it is. I’m guessing a toy. But I had heard the footsteps. Distinctly childlike footsteps. So I get closer to the green thing, trying to see if my child is hiding behind it or something.

AND THE GREEN THING TALKS.

I jumped so freaking high it’s a wonder why I wasn’t immediately drafted into the WMBA.

“Hello?” Don’t know why I said that, I mean clearly it was a toy.

“Take me to your leader,” it responded.

Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyy so obviously this was a weird ate-cheese-before-bed kind of dream.

“Take me to your leader.”

So after a a failed attempt at slowing my heart rate I was like, “Okay… so that’s gonna be hard to do…”

“Why?” it asked.

“Because, well, first off… there’s not exactly a ‘leader of Earth’. There are hundreds of leaders of different parts of the world.”

The little green man rubbed it’s chin and went, “So it’s compartmentalized? Like a mini-mall?”

“Wut?”

“Take me to the leader of this room.”

I blinked rapidly because OKAY WHAT EXACTLY WAS HAPPENING HERE. Finally I shook my head and was like, “Uh… okay… sorry, I was not prepared to have an encounter with an extra-terrestrial today.”

His jaw dropped and he slapped his hand on his chest. “You can’t say that! That’s an extremely offensive term to my people!”

“Oh sorry, sorry, sorry!! I’m not accustomed with Martian culture.”

“We’re not even FROM Mars! Wow. WOW.”

And then I watched him teleport onto my front lawn where he started recording a rant video about me on his smart phone.

Sooooo… if an intergalactic war starts… That was my bad guys.