18 Thoughts I Had While Watching Bridgerton

Well I finally sat down and watched all of Bridgerton. The postpartum hormones always dictate that I must binge a period romance, so I knew this show would hit just right.

1. Important things first: Simon’s butt looks totally fake. Who has a butt like that?? Like two perfect cocoa bowling balls side by side.

2. I like how the bun on Lady Danbury’s head keeps drooping to the side because honestly girl, same.

3 Pretty cool to see minorities in roles that I otherwise wouldn’t see them perform.

4 Why the f does Daphne look like an exact replica of the Wendy Darling cartoon?

5 This is a hecka spicy show. This is two chili symbols on a Thai menu spicy.

6 Wow Simon’s sperm donor of a father is the human equivalent of rat poison.

7. Wait, wait, wait you can have sex on a ladder!?!? Is that possible?

8. Oh, the staircase now? These people have a step fetish.

9 I told Dan that for some reason the swelling orchestral pop covers during the sex scenes made me blush/cringe more. He asked me if I’d rather have 70s porno music and like … maybe??? Idk why it’s so embarrassing to me

10 It’s season two and where is Simon? Simon is just gone now. This major character is a passing commentary now.

11. Why don’t I remember season two as well as season one? All I remember is that Edwina didn’t deserve any of this.

12 Kate has insanely beautiful cheekbones. Is there a better way to say this? Bone structure? “Girl. Nice skull. Good job growing that.”

13. This gazebo has seen more action than I have all summer.

14 Look I’ll say it, Colin Bridgerton is the most na├»ve dude. Unpopular opinion, but maybe Penn is too good for him after all. She’s definitely too smart for him anyway.

15 Maybe this is me projecting my own neurodivergence, but at first I really disliked Eustace… Wait wtf that’s not her name. That’s the old man from Courage the Cowardly Dog. Eunice? … Eloise!!! WOW. ok. Anyways at first I found her character irritating but after finishing the series I decided that actually no, she is the best one. She is the best Bridgerton. Next season can be her season and all the subsequent seasons like I don’t really care.

16 PS after Googling Eloise’s name I found out Julie Andrews does the voice-over for Lady Whistledown wtf. How did I not piece that together myself???

17 Why do I have such a weakness for men with trauma-induced quirks? THAT STUTTER. THAT FEAR OF BEES.

18 Welp. I finished that in two days… When does season three come out?

Kids Say The Darndest Things – (Nov 22)

Before we had Andie we were very nervous that the boys would be jealous or resentful. But I was not prepared for how aggressively in love with her they would actually be. They’re like obsessed. I can’t even keep them away from her. They will dead a$$ stop everything they are doing and have to hug and kiss her every five minutes. I’m being literal. It might even be less intervals than five minutes

Casey has now combined “oh my gosh” with “holy cow” and walks around exclaiming “Oh my cow!”

JACK: We don’t wipe our boogers on baby Andie right?
DAN: … No
JACK: Yeah cause she probably wants to be clean.

We recently hired a new babysitter named “Makenzie”. And when I first told Casey her name he repeated it back as “Mechanics?” Now no matter how many times I correct him he keeps asking me “Is she really good at fixing cars?”

JACK (taking a selfie with Dan): Dad, you look good. Like an old chef.

CASEY: (whispering) Tell the story about the gingerbread man.

ME: Okay. Once upon a time-

CASEY: (whispering) No, tell the story about the gingerbread man burned me and I died. And then you plugged me in and I charged up. And then the bubbles from my tongue made me fart.
ME: …
CASEY: (whispering) Tell that one.

JACK: If I have this little cut on my foot I will survive.

Dan was sweetly carrying Casey past the stairs.

CASEY: Don’t throw me down the stairs, Dad.

I was scrubbing toilets when Casey came up behind me.

CASEY: Oh my goodness! Why is the potty so colorful? Can I have a turn?

So I shrugged and let him have a whack with the toilet scrubber. He swirled it around slowly.

CASEY: Mommy, do I look like a witch?

I picked up Jack and his best friend Emmy from school and this was the conversation in our car.

EMMY: (to me) Do you know what a secret crush is? Because I have one.

ME: Ohhhh wow! How fun!

JACK: Have you ever had your heart outside of yourself and smooshed and it’s like you’re dead but you’re not really dead?

ME: What? (laughing) Did a secret crush do that to you?

JACK: No. No one’s ever been in MY heart.