18 Thoughts I Had While Watching Bridgerton

Well I finally sat down and watched all of Bridgerton. The postpartum hormones always dictate that I must binge a period romance, so I knew this show would hit just right.

1. Important things first: Simon’s butt looks totally fake. Who has a butt like that?? Like two perfect cocoa bowling balls side by side.

2. I like how the bun on Lady Danbury’s head keeps drooping to the side because honestly girl, same.

3 Pretty cool to see minorities in roles that I otherwise wouldn’t see them perform.

4 Why the f does Daphne look like an exact replica of the Wendy Darling cartoon?

5 This is a hecka spicy show. This is two chili symbols on a Thai menu spicy.

6 Wow Simon’s sperm donor of a father is the human equivalent of rat poison.

7. Wait, wait, wait you can have sex on a ladder!?!? Is that possible?

8. Oh, the staircase now? These people have a step fetish.

9 I told Dan that for some reason the swelling orchestral pop covers during the sex scenes made me blush/cringe more. He asked me if I’d rather have 70s porno music and like … maybe??? Idk why it’s so embarrassing to me

10 It’s season two and where is Simon? Simon is just gone now. This major character is a passing commentary now.

11. Why don’t I remember season two as well as season one? All I remember is that Edwina didn’t deserve any of this.

12 Kate has insanely beautiful cheekbones. Is there a better way to say this? Bone structure? “Girl. Nice skull. Good job growing that.”

13. This gazebo has seen more action than I have all summer.

14 Look I’ll say it, Colin Bridgerton is the most naïve dude. Unpopular opinion, but maybe Penn is too good for him after all. She’s definitely too smart for him anyway.

15 Maybe this is me projecting my own neurodivergence, but at first I really disliked Eustace… Wait wtf that’s not her name. That’s the old man from Courage the Cowardly Dog. Eunice? … Eloise!!! WOW. ok. Anyways at first I found her character irritating but after finishing the series I decided that actually no, she is the best one. She is the best Bridgerton. Next season can be her season and all the subsequent seasons like I don’t really care.

16 PS after Googling Eloise’s name I found out Julie Andrews does the voice-over for Lady Whistledown wtf. How did I not piece that together myself???

17 Why do I have such a weakness for men with trauma-induced quirks? THAT STUTTER. THAT FEAR OF BEES.

18 Welp. I finished that in two days… When does season three come out?

12 Thoughts I Had Watching Stranger Things Season 4

Spoilers obviously. Because I’m too lazy to edit myself.

1. I like Eddie. But probably because he is straight ten under that Glam Metal wig. Haha hey Doja Cat ain’t wrong.

2. There are too many antagonists to keep track of. We got The Russians, Russian demogorgon, Russian demodogs, Russian peanut butter smuggler, Brennar, Sullivan, Brennar’s men, Sullivan’s men, Vecna, the serial killer from the 50s, the serial killer that turns out to be Henry that turns out to be 001 that turns out to be Vecna, Angelica, the entire skating rink for some reason, the other psychic kids at the lab, Jason, the basketball team, the angry hicks, bats, vines, vague mind flayer references, Will’s haircut.

3. The way the Duffer Bros does bullies is so weird to me. Remember in season one when the kid forced Mike to jump to his death or else he’d cut out Dustin’s teeth with a pocket knife (like holy sh*t what haha)

4. I don’t know who I want to complain more about, Jason or Sullivan… Alright Jason.

5. What the eff is this guy doing? I totally get being upset about your girlfriend’s murder but breaking into people’s houses with baseball bats, buying guns and tormenting little girls at the playground are not it bro. IMHO I think Jason should’ve just been a normal non-asshole kid who is trying to solve his girlfriend’s murder and gets caught up in the cult theory. It still could have culminated to the showdown with Lucas at the end and it would have been more intense stakes vs annoying af.

6. My favorite thing about Jason is how much of a better suspect he would have been over Eddie. He has connections to two of the victims. His attempts to pin things on Munson are SO over the top and violent. The police quite literally find him at the scene of the crime. And yet when he incites a riot of townspeople they’re like ‘This is fine.’ LOL Just reiterating, it would’ve been far more interesting to have him be a normal kid trying to clear his name instead of an irritating little 💩

7. Also the interpersonal conflict between protagonists is sooooo stale. Literally the only conflict is “You don’t romantically love me as much as I romantically love you.” It’s boooooring. I’m booooooored. Can’t they do two characters disagreeing on a plan? Or like some misunderstanding? Maybe Steve or Nancy really believes Eddie is bad news like idk please anything else.

8. Most of the original characters are so blah now. I find Will to be a tragically underused character. Here is someone who literally lived and survived in the Upside Down for months, was connected into the hive mind, and yet no one comes to him for advice or seems to care about him in general. In season one, they repeatedly talked about how he was the smartest of the kids, but in seasons three and four he spends all his screen time crying.

9. The Russian storyline is kinda stupid… but not as stupid as the season 3 Russian base under the mall. THE. MALL. “Wherre should we poot top secrret base?” “How about underrneath public place with hundreds of civilian fooot trraffic?” HAHAHA remember how they discovered it too? They heard the damn kiddie carousel in the background of the Russian transmission. Why would the carousel be audible in the transmission!?!? Was he riding it while he recorded it? THE MALL BASE PLOT IS SO STUPID.

10. Is it just me or did Robin’s personality completely invert?? Like last season she was a snarky genius who learned Russian in a day or whatever (lawls). But this season she’s been reduced to this ditzy “Oh noooooo but what if I trip!?!?!?” I mean idk maybe I don’t remember her in last season very well.

11. Wait WHAT!?!?!? What do you mean Jamie Campbell Bower did the Vecna voice with no alterations. What??? WHAT??? How is that range humanly possible? Here I’ll link a video you can see how talented he is. https://youtube.com/shorts/kbUnmdCHcX4?feature=share

12. R U serious? Those mother-duffers always kill off the best ones. Can’t wait to see Eddie come back as a vampire next season.

Kids Say the Darndest Things (catch up)

ME: Ooh, Jack is a rebel.
CASEY: Yeah, Jack is Rubble and I’m Chase!

Every time Dan would come home, he would throw the kids high in the air. He tried to teach them to say Buzz Lightyear’s catchphrase before he threw them: “To Infinity and Beyond!”. But for some reason both of them would cry, “Two Fifty and Beyond!”. So then Dan tried to switch to Woody: “There’s a snake in my boot!” But all he got was “There’s a sneaky in my boot.” and “There’s a stinky in my butt.”

CASEY: I don’t want a quesadilla I want a Jacky-dea.

JACK: *leaving to go to school* Bye! Have fun playing with the kids!

Caught my dang three-year-old trying to stick a screwdriver in an outlet. I yelled at him to stop, explained how dangerous that is, that he could even DIE. He literally scoffed, rolled his eyes and said:

CASEY: It’s fine, Mom. Then I’d just be a zombie.

JACK: I don’t like white popsicles because they taste like ants. Isn’t that icky?
ME: How do you know what ants taste like?
JACK: I don’t know but it gives me a headache to think about.

CASEY: *playing with Dan* Boom you’re trapped! I’m a police officer!
DAN: Did you read me my rights?
CASEY: Yeah I’ll do that. *pretends to hold a book* Once upon a time Daddy was trapped and went to jail.

JACK: *points to his Spaghettios* I call these “blowy basgettios”. You know why?
ME: Why?
JACK: Because you blow em like this *blows* like how you have to blow a mosquito.
ME: Like… blowing a mosquito away?
JACK: Not mosquito, I meant to say noodle.
ME: *laughs* what?

DAN: *to me* Hit the AC will ya?
CASEY: No, Dad! It’s B and then C. A B C.

JACK: Does grandma live on Earth?
ME: … yeah. Utah is on Earth.
JACK: Ohhhhhhhhh!

CASEY: (holding up a toy) Should I break this?
ME: No, you shouldn’t
CASEY: Well what can I break?
ME: You can break my heart when you grow up too fast.
CASEY: (imitates a breaking sound) Pssh! Your heart is broken!
ME: Yeah it is 😭