It’s truly disgusting the number of hours I’ve logged on this game. I won’t even admit what it is. But I will tell you that it’s enough to garner very strong opinions about the citizens of Pelican Town. And if YOU’VE played Stardew and decided to marry one of the singles… then I have strong opinions about you too lol.

Here are the reasons that I think you chose the NPC that you chose:

Alex

• He reminded you of a crush you had in high school
• You needed someone big and strong to fix your fence posts
• You downloaded the mod that let him go professional at gridball and that made you feel a little better

Elliot

• You’re probably “something of a writer yourself.”
• You play for aesthetics. And everything about him fit a vibe you were going for.
• You unlocked ducks somewhat early

Harvey

• He’s “established.”
• You thought that if you married him, he would heal you for free if you died in the mines… he did not.
• You yourself are older and you felt like it was one of the least creepy options

Sam

• You have a thing for “lovable scamps”
• Pizza is readily available at the Stardrop Saloon
• You never believed he would be a famous rockstar and had zero guilt about asking him to give it up to be a stay-at-home dad

Sebastian

• You have the hawts for the bad boys TM
• He said one line to you about staying inside all the time and you were like “Relate”.
• When you got to know him, you realised there was so much more there than the aloof emo you thought he was. You discovered that he reads graphic novels and knows how to code, and he invites you to his Dungeons and Dragons campaign. And it turns out that he’s not just a cool motorcycle guy who plays synth in a band, he’s actually a giant nerd who has an adorable affinity for rescuing little frogs and is designing his own computer game and oh no, now you’re calling him Sebby and you’re in love with him in your waking life… erm… speaking for a friend.

Shane

• Came for the Jojomart pepper poppers, stayed for the blue chickens.
• You didn’t know at the time that his disgusting room would become part of the farmhouse
• You chose Shane because you understand Shane. You good?

Abigail

• You kept mining a lot of amethyst
• She actually WANTED to live on your farm. She LOVES your grandpa’s farm. She WANTED this
• You chose Abigail because you are Abigail. You love ghost hunting and video games, and maybe you have ADHD. Er… also speaking for a friend.

Emily

• You randomly had the most hearts with her first
• You needed wool and cloth for community center bundles and things blossomed from there
• You wanted to see Clint cry

Haley

• “She’s pretty.”
• She really does have a character arc, you swear. You can’t say what it is exactly, but it’s THERE.
• Sunflowers are easy to grow, and you just needed a Stardrop

Leah

• You secretly wanted her little wooden cabin
• She was a regular at the Saloon and popping in and buying salads worked for you
• You actually wanted Robin, but she wasn’t marriageable

Maru

• She was the only marriageable POC character and that PISSED YOU OFF.
• Pure curiosity. You wanted to see her 14 heart cutscene and wondered if she would invent anything for your farm.
• idk you tell me why you picked Maru lol

Penny

• You wanted to “save her” from her alcoholic mother
• You were worried about holding the other NPC’s back from their dreams but Penny WANTS to have your children. She has no dreams.
• You discovered that she would take your old rusty artifacts and dwarf scrolls so you kept handing them to her every time you went to the museum

Krobus

• This is not your first play through
• You LIVE on Stardew Wiki
• You’re a bit of a rebel. You’re a “tee hee I’m not like the others” type and I agree.
• Let’s be friends

Also HEY. I have a YouTube channel now. I don’t know if you read that last post, but I’m making videos on the internet now. *Hunger Games whistle*. This is my first long-form vid, and it’s actually a documentary about my writing journey! So I’m posting it here if you’re interested: