Going to NYC with my Dad

One of my closest friends adores New York more than anywhere else in the world. And he ALWAYS would tell me with such confidence how I would love it too. How I “belong in New York” and how I would “fit there so well”.

At thirty years old I had never been there! I wasn’t sure about “belonging” in New York, but knew it fit a lot of my special interests. The big publishing houses, Broadway, Ghostbusters. Plus New York was also once the home of two of my favorite hairy island transplants… King Kong AND John Lennon.

So when I mentioned to my parents a desire to go there, my dad started joking that he would use his sky miles to whisk me away there some weekend. Which I never ever thought would ACTUALLY happen.

Daniel had this miraculous day off work in the summer. And we were racking our brains trying to think of what family vacation we wanted to do. San Diego is only a five hour drive, but we knew the beach would be PACKED on the weekend and a lot of things were limited due to COVID.

Traveling with two little kids can be pretty rough. And it was tricky trying to come up with somewhere cool to go that the boys would also enjoy. So one night when we were discussing possible plans, Dan asked me where I would choose to go, if the kids weren’t a factor at all.

I told him about the weird NYC joke with my dad and he was like, “well… do you think your dad is busy the last weekend of July??”

I didn’t think he would be available with his hyper busy schedule, but it turned out HE WAS! Our joke suddenly turned into a real actual plan! We would instead take the boys to The Great Wolf Lodge in the fall (which is Jack’s dream anyway) and I would go with just my dad to New York for an early birthday present!

SATURDAY

The first day was a travel day and almost nothing else. A four-hour flight plus time change equals all day haha. My dad had gotten us upgraded to first class and it was incredible! Each seat was like its own little cubicle where you can lay down the seat like a bed and have all this space around you. (I sincerely hope someone reads this in the future and laughs because all the airplane seats have become like this)

Anyway, it was a very swanky trip in. Swanky first-class seats, swanky hotel, swanky upgrade in the hotel and we even ended up walking to a swanky restaurant.

The restaurant was funny because my Dad and I were totally out of our element in our disheveled travel clothes. I was wearing leggings and a Back to the Future tee shirt… at a super expensive restaurant off Madison Avenue. It’s not that we knew we were going to end up there. We just walked the street and popped into a random place and then once they pulled the chairs out for us and handed us the menu with the prices it was too late lol. But I had a really, really good shrimp risotto and a crème brûlée at the end. My dad had a less fortunate clam and mussel pasta and we both agreed that we should have gone to the Mediterranean place around the corner.

That night my dad and I stayed up and talked into the night. Late night conversations are my ultimate love language, because that’s when you really get a chance to share your deepest thoughts or dumbest jokes.

SUNDAY

The next morning we decided to walk somewhere for breakfast. We were going to hail a cab, but on Sunday morning the streets were very quiet (which I loved!) so we walked the twenty minutes. Not even halfway through we got caught in a sudden rain (which I also loved to be honest). It was all magical to me.

I was surprised how quickly I had fallen in love with New York City. I don’t know what kind of an expectation I had, but this place definitely exceeded them. I really thought it was a bunch of gray rectangular buildings with ordinary rectangular windows. Sort of like how they always cartoonize New York. But that is NOT true. Every single separate building is an architectural wonder. The stonework, the small details. You really have to be THERE out on the street to see how cool New York is. So many movies have used New York City as a backdrop that I had become desensitized to its coolness. Thinking “oh, this is like a set”. But then when you’re out there on the streets walking around with your jaw hanging open, you’re going “wow!! This is like a set.”

I remembered what my friend had said about me “fitting into New York” which made me snort and roll my eyes. I was wearing a jumper dress I bought from Walmart with my black opaque tights and light gray tennies. I did not FEEL like I “fit in” walking past the Armani, Louis Vuitton and Versace stores.

After breakfast we walked around anywhere we felt like! Times Square, FAO Schwartz, Rockefeller…

This is my all-time FAVORITE style of vacationing. No itinerary. No big all-day tourist activities. Just exploration in it’s purest sense. Walking the streets! Seeing the steam rise from the sewer grates (whaaaaat? I thought that was a dramatic movie effect, I didn’t know that was a real thing!) I know that style of traveling is not for everyone… but it’s definitely for me! To be carried and moved by the environment. Being present in the entirety of your destination. I was thrilled that my dad was on the same page as me! To be explorers together and do whatever we wanted in the moment it called for.  

We were pretty exhausted by the time we got back to the hotel. My body was immediately messed up trying to switch to East Coast time. So I took a nap even though it was like ten AM.

When I woke up, I felt a lot more energized and happy again. We decided to go to Central Park. I had no idea how Central Park would be. And it turns out it’s the best place in the whole frickin’ world hahaha!

Dad and I got a hot dog and sat on a bench to people watch. (And it was a good hot dog too!) Then we got up and walked around and it was an *amazing* place. There was live music all around, people performing, dancers practicing in the fields. I overheard a lot of writers talking to their editors/publishers on the phone.

That’s when I got it. What my friend was saying about me fitting in there. It was something that I never really agreed with him about before, because I thought of New York as this stiff business empire for the super wealthy. But it’s a hot spot for fellow artsy farts! And just apart from the people. The environment in Central Park specifically was SO meaningful to me. The metaphor of it. That this giant and crazy busy city, wanted to carve a chunk out for nature and respite.

It’s really so great. I guess I thought it was going to be a normal park. Not like… an entire town-size of beautification! The birds come right up to your feet when you sit down. There are SO many fat squirrels running around. And I bent down and called out to one and it ran to me like it was a dog! I started crying. Literally. I was so happy to be there that I started crying.

     We walked to Strawberry Fields and there were TONS of people there. Sitting and listening to a nearby street musician singing John Lennon’s songs. And some of them were crying.

We walked across the street to The Dakota and saw the entrance where John was shot. (kind of eerie knowing you’re standing where someone was murdered. Even if it was 40 years ago.)

Suddenly Dad and I were thrown into a deep and beautiful conversation about death and the gospel. (Right there in front of The Dakota). It was an impactful moment for me. That (and the whole trip) really made me realize how similar my dad and I are. And our views and feelings on things.

We walked a little ways to an ice cream shop that supposedly sold “Kraft macaroni and cheese ice cream”. They were sold out if you can believe it. So I had chocolate fudge brownie instead. Oh, darn. Haha! Then we saw a spot from You’ve Got Mail and circled back around The Dakota to Central Park again.

Dad and I continued walking around the park and I fell more hopelessly in love with it. Central Park was now one of my new favorite memories.

Later that evening we decided to go to Little Italy and eat at a 100-year-old restaurant called “Puglia’s”. Little Italy was amazingly beautiful! And I’m so glad that we took time to go!

Puglia’s was the exact opposite of the fancy shcmancy place we had dinner at the night before. It was very LOUD. We sat at a table with another group of people. Everyone was laughing and yelling at each other. The waiters were pretty casual. It felt like I was suddenly adopted into a HUGE Italian family and was at a reunion with all my cousins or something. That’s honestly what that restaurant felt like!

Then just when I thought it was not physically possible to get any louder. An older couple came out and started performing. The entire restaurant started sing-yelling along! And half of the patrons got up on the tables and waved their napkins. It was so chaotic and fun. You couldn’t help but sing along and dance yourself.

After dinner, we walked around Little Italy, got a gelato and then wandered around trying to hail a cab to get us back to our hotel.

MONDAY

Monday morning we had room service and lounged around in our comfy Pierre robes.

We decided that we would do one “touristy” thing on our trip and both agreed on The Empire State Building. We went all the way up to the 102nd floor! The little ball thingy on the tower. It was very impressive and scary looking down at the already super tall buildings of New York. The little dots of the birds flying down there. I cannot believe they were up here in the 30s building this high with no harnesses riveting on a narrow beam. WHY? WHAT?

After the Empire State we had pizza, walked St. Mark’s Place and visited the famous “Strands Bookstore”. And just like any other bookstore I had an armful of books to buy within only thirty seconds of being there. So we had to leave pretty soon after that or else I wouldn’t have been able to lug my suitcase through the airport.

We stopped at a diner and over some famous NY cheesecake, we talked about life. Impostor syndrome and the gospel and confidence in ourselves. And I saw that this trip was meant in part for that conversation and every conversation that I had with my dad. I have never and probably will never have that kind of extensive time with him to hear his feelings and thoughts about such deep and meaningful things. And its a beyond precious memory that I will always have of my father throughout my life. 

We finished our cheesecake and before turning back in for the night, I asked if we could just walk into Central Park one last time. My beloved, wonderful Central Park. So we took a taxi to the entrance by the plaza and walked a ways into it before settling on a bench.

As the sun sank behind the skyscrapers, the fat squirrels cleared out of the fields and were replaced by sparkling fireflies. My dad and I had more deep and important talks. And I wondered and ached for when I would ever be able to come back to this city I had fallen head over heels for.

I wish I knew how to sum up this trip in writing. I’m not joking when I said I cried of happiness in Central Park. Or how desperately meaningful it was to me to have a father who would be willing to have such a bonding moment and adventure between the two of us. I really saw this whole trip as such a deep act of love.

If (I mean when) I go back to New York City, here’s what I’m going to do differently. I’m going to dedicate an entire day or maybe even two to Central Park. We walked 20,000 steps that first day and I only ever saw the bottom third of Central Park. I didn’t see Century Gardens, or Shakespeare Gardens. We didn’t go inside the zoo. I know there’s a castle! So probably when I go back it will be a trip to the park for me HAHAHAHA.

Little Italy is a place worth visiting again. I would probably pick another “one touristy thing” again. Either ride the boat around the Statue of Liberty or spend some time at the 9/11 memorial. I should also mention that Broadway was still closed due to the pandemic, so I would see a show the next time around.

I already know that if my dad could have changed anything he would have wanted my mom there. I wouldn’t mind going back with Daniel or my mom. My kids if they were a little older.

Trapped by a Parade of 2,000 Naked Bicyclists (No Joke)

My parents had this fun incentive that every time one of their children graduated from high school, that graduate got to pick where we went for our summer vacation. And while the limit of my imagination was California, my little brother chose to go to Europe.

June 2014, we were in London: me, my immediate family, a couple of my brother’s friends and my then fiancee Daniel.

We were scheduled to tour the River Thames, which I was particularly excited for because we were going to float past the recreation of the Globe Theater. And, hey, Shakespeare is sorta my thing. I was even IN an award winning Shakespearean play that summer so *sniffs and tosses hair over both shoulders like a snob*.

I was in the hotel getting ready to leave. When Dan calls me from outside.

DAN: Hey… There’s something really weird going on out here.

VAL: Oh, yeah?

DAN: There’s a big crowd of people… I think it might be a protest or something…

DAN: … … You should come down here.

When my family and I stepped out of our hotel we were greeted by a huge crowd of butt naked people standing around with bikes.

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So I guess the World Naked Bicycle Ride is a thing. (Don’t click on that unless you want to see nudies. NSFW. You’ve been warned.)

Us kids had a pretty good laugh at it, as my conservative parents were trying to herd our wandering eyes down to our river boat tour. We were only one crosswalk away from the dock before we found out that the streets were completely closed off.

So here we were caught watching the craziest parade ever. Thousands of naked dangling bodies zipping by us. Some were on rental bikes, which was… not something I wanted to think about too hard.

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(You know. In a weird way it was a confidence booster. In our society we never really see any ‘average-looking’ naked people. If you feel like you don’t look that great naked. Hey. Neither does anyone else. And I’ve seen a small towns worth of naked people to know. Everyone’s got rolls and flab. Guys are pretty much the same size… well okay, there was one guy that was “particularly brave”.)

Anyways, my mom is SUPER pissed off that we can’t cross the street. We’re about to miss our river boat tour because we can’t get around this moving wall of butt-cracks on bicycles. She WIGS THE FREAK OUT and just FLIPPING steps out INTO the middle of the parade.

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The guy has to squeeze his hand break and like skidded on his bare feet to stop from hitting my mom. Four to five people behind him are swerving and stopping and almost falling over. I thought for sure I was about to see my mother buried by an avalanche of a$$. She’s like waving us all to cross the street after she had just created the most awkward pile up in history.

That was embarrassing AF, but we made the river tour.

I feel like I can count that as one of the craziest things that has ever happened to me. I mean seeing a thousand lil’ Johnsons in one day is up there. I post crazy stories every month now, so if you haven’t subscribed yet, you may want to consider it.

 

Taking a Toddler to Disneyland AND a Cruise

My resolution for 2018 has been to “try not to automatically assume the worst thing is going to happen”. And to start out the new year we really put my fears to the test by taking our 18-month-old on a very ambitious vacation.

It’s hard. Maybe it’s a mother bear thing, because eventually you train yourself to predict what will happen with your child. “Don’t play near that table, you’re going to knock your teeth out. Don’t sit on the sofa like that, you are going to fall backwards. Everyone hide all phones and remotes or we’re about to have a meltdown.” As our vacation drew near all I could think about were my disastrous predictions. But you know what? Overall, I will say that my negative expectations were very much proven wrong.

THURSDAY: SHIPPING OFF (AS IT WERE)

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Expectation: Jack will throw a HUGE tantrum on the plane and it will be a miserable two hours.

Reality: Jack did fine on the plane. Everything else went wrong.


Seriously. Jack on the plane, total angel. Trying to get on the plane. PBBBBBBBTTTTTTTHPPPPPPPPT! (In case you couldn’t tell that was me blowing a raspberry with my thumb pointed down) Our boarding pass didn’t print. Security was backed up. My baby food tested positive for bomb material for some reason. (TF!?) The amount of freaking money we spent on a Taxi, I was like, really? Why don’t you just float us across the pacific then for that kind of room and board.

Finally, we made it onto the ship and met up with family. Then I could focus on the SINGLE BIGGEST FEAR of the trip…


Expectation: Jack wont sleep a wink in his stranger danger porta crib.

Reality: Jack slept so deep that he might have slipped into several comas. I’m not sure


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Yes, those are naughty pacifiers for a toddler.

When we went camping to witness the Solar Eclipse… it was a nightmare, okay. We had to take turns sleeping in the car to actually get our child to stop screaming at least. This time, zonked. He didn’t care. He didn’t even wake up through the several announcements and alarms leading up to the mandatory safety meeting. Neither did Dan. The two would’ve gone down with the ship, still synchronize snoring in the cabin.

Turned out, not even a marching band could wake this child. He slept through lights being turned on, he slept through us talking and laughing at normal volume. He even slept through the Disneyland fireworks show which sounded like a full on air raid TBH.

FRIDAY: MEXICO

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Excuse my dead child


Expectation: We won’t be able to see much of Mexico and have to come back early so Jack can nap on the ship.

Reality: We got to do a day excursion and Jack napped on the go.


See, I told you about the sleeping thing.

We got to do some street shopping and see ‘La Bufadora’, which is like the Old Faithful of the Mexican coastline. “Really?” No, not really at all actually, but still. AND THE TACOS OMG! If you are wondering whether I purchased a very expensive cruise ticket just for Mexican tacos… then you clearly have never had authentic Mexican tacos. Good day, sir. I SAID GOOD DAY.

SATURDAY: A CHOPPY DAY AT SEA


Expectation: It will be rough keeping Jack entertained.

Reality: It was rough keeping Jack from having fun.


All this kid wanted to do was run around. Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. Lapping the length of the ship over and over. Up, up, up and down, down, dooooooownnn each and every staircase he could find. He had to explore every single inch of the ship. The Casino, the smoking areas, fire station units, stranger’s cabins. I swear, Jack’s dream vacation would be to go to a giant enclosed football stadium, have someone wind up the key in his back and spend the week doing endurance training. It was hard to get him to SIT DOWN. Or you know, step away from the toddler-sized gaps in the railing on the upper deck.

SUNDAY: TAR PITS, HOLLYWOOD, LOTS OF DRIVING

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Expectation: We will be twiddling our thumbs all day.

Reality: We did tons of fun stuff. It turned out to be one of my favorite days.


We had nothing planned for this day, other than we knew we would do something with my husband’s side of the family (with whom we shared the cruise with) and then something with my side of the family later on (with whom we were to share Disneyland with). But none of us, really had any plans in mind. So we ended up hanging around Hollywood.

AND IT WAS AWESOME.

Okay, so I had never been to the tar pits before. We ended up spur of the moment going there… I turned into a nine year old boy. I just REALLY needed to see something sink into that tar. So I peer pressured [bullied] my husband until he threw a big rock in there AND IT WAS SO CEWL OMG LIKE SOMETHING STRAIGHT OUT OF AN ODDLY SATISFYING COMPILATION ON THE YOUTUBES!

Afterwards we all had a nice uplifting Sabbath lunch at Hard Rock Cafe. Somehow my baby slept through like 40 minutes of concert-level music. (Why do I worry about things?) He of course later woke up to get in on rocking out. –Hard Rock Cafe is kinda like my thang. So I was very hyper and talkative [annoying?]–

Hard Rock Cafe also happened to be neighbors with Grauman’s Chinese Theater, so we stopped there too because eh, why not?

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“Eh, why not?”

MONDAY: DISNEYLAND

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Expectation: Jack wont be able to do much.

Reality: There was so much for Jack to ride that we didn’t even get to all of it.


Someone once told me that there isn’t a lot for babies to do at Disneyland, but THAT AIN’T TRUE! I think it’s easier to name the rides that babies CAN’T go on than the ones that they can. I can’t say the same for California Adventures but at the OG uhhhh YEAH! It’s a family place for a reason.

Pluuuuus Grandma and Grandpa took Jack back to the hotel for his afternoon nap. While Dan and I got to ride all the big people rides. Yeah, whassup Indiana Jones and the Temple of the Forbidden Eye. Space Mountain I’m looking at you, sailor. It was the best date ever.

NUMBER ONE TAKE AWAY ADVICE FOR PARENTS WANTING TO BRING TODDLERS ON VACATION: Bring other adults with you. Seriously, it was a relief both on the cruise and at the amusement-park-designed-specifically-for-parents-to-enjoy-with-their-children-but-maybe-he-enjoyed-his-nap-tho-shuttup.

TUESDAY: DISNEY BEFORE THE TREK HOME

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Expectation: Disneyland would be rained out and half closed.

Reality: It was ABSOLUTELY the most darling and wonderful Disney day.


The days we went to Disneyland were the days California decided to flood.

We were gearing up for our underwater Disneyland tour, when guess what? It turned out to be a perfectly sunny day. (And the crowds were frightened away too) Walked on to every ride, had a marvelous time. And OH NOT TO MENTION. Jack just happened to meet his hero after riding the Winnie the Pooh ride a few times in a row.

Let’s play a game, who is more excited to meet Pooh. Jack or Mom?

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It was a lovely trip and here’s my takeaway… That scary thing you’re thinking of doing? Look, you should just do it. It’s likely that your expectation of an EPIC FAIL may actually be just an expectation and nothing more.