Tag: mommy blog

Kids Say the Darndest (November 2021)

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Casey had his annual check up and right when he got his flu shot he said:
CASEY: I got hurted today!
And then later in the car he was quiet for a long time and finally said all offended:
CASEY: They shot me!

JACK: Baby shark doesn’t have arms. He just has triangles
DAN: … fins?

DAN: Who’s your favorite brother?
JACK: Casey
CASEY: Google
JACK: (offended) That’s just nothing!
CASEY Oh, okay, how about Jack.

JACK: *talking to his toy pancake* Hey Food, you want to come to my room with me? *puts his ear on top of the toy pancake* … the food says yes.

JACK: Do you wanna play a challenge game with me?
CASEY: No, I’m busy. *starts playing with a toy car* Beep beep beep

*Puts his hand on my head and then takes it off quickly*
CASEY: It was on your head.
ME: What was it?? A bug?
CASEY: No, a hand.

UNCLE JEREMY: I’m the boss!
CASEY: I’m the bus.
UNCLE JEREMY: No, I’m the boss.
CASEY: Yeah, we’re both buses.

*A legit actual conversation that happened in the minivan*

JACK: What day of the week is it?
ME: Thursday.
CASEY: No, it’s “Fives-day”
JACK: No, it’s not “Fives-day”! If it were “Fives-day” it would be the weekend! Like “Saturn-day”.
ME: … *trying not to laugh*
JACK: Mom, can we go to Saturn? I’ve never been to Saturn before.
ME: Oh, me neither.
JACK: We can go and it will have rings… (quietly) And Uncle Ryan will be there.
ME: What? *not able to hold back my laugh* Uncle Ryan lives in Utah.
JACK: …
ME: …
JACK: Can we go to Utah?
ME: Yeah, hopefully sometime soon.
JACK: (to himself) And I can wear my purple pants. Because I’ve never worn my purple pants in Utah before.

Kids Say the Darndest (Oct 2021)

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Jack kept requesting this video that he called “Stinky Nose”. And we could not figure out for the life of us what “Stinky Nose” was. We were typing it full out into the YouTube search and everything and couldn’t find it. Then finally we discovered that it was a video where they put “sticky notes” all over someone’s house and apparently Jack thinks they’re called “stinky nose”.

Right after installing our Google assistant:
CASEY: Hey Google, can I have a cookie?

ME: Tomorrow you’re going to be three!
CASEY: No, I’m not going to be three. I’m going to be fourteen.
JACK: Then you would be a grown-up

ME: How old are you?
CASEY: THREE!
ME: That’s right! *goes to give a high five*
CASEY: No, this many. *puts two of my fingers down*

JACK: (out of nowhere) We don’t flush cats down the toilet right?
ME: … what?
JACK: Because then people would be sad their pet was gone.

GRANDMA: It’s available for pick up
CASEY: No not “pick up”, it’s called a “hiccup”, grandma.

*Opens a dumdum sucker.*
JACK: Ooh that looks like Saturn!

Found out this month that both of my kids think a mummy is called a “mommy”.

DAN: (teasing) Are you a bus?
CASEY: No, I’m a Casey
DAN: *grabs his foot* Is this your tire?
CASEY: …
*a full minute later*
CASEY: (to himself) I’m a bus.

JACK: I like you
ME: I like you too!
JACK: Yeah we both like us!

Kids Say the Darndest Things (September)

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Casey started playing this game where you had to run away from a pretend monster before he gets you. And one time when Dan was playing he named the monster “Mr. Play Dough Head” (for whatever reason). But it stuck and that became the game, running away from Mr. Play Dough Head. Then one night I left Casey alone in the kitchen to wash my hands and he started screaming bloody murder. When I came back he was crying and shaking. I frantically asked what was wrong and he said, “Mr. Play Dough Head is going to eat me!” So at some point Casey decided this was no longer a game, this was now a real threat in our house. And that’s how my poor two year old developed a Mr. Play Dough Head phobia.

ME: It’s fall! Do you know what that means? Do you know what’s going to happen soon?

JACK: Yeah, that’s when you drive over the spikes and the wheels pop and we crash.

ME: wtf … I was gonna say Halloween.

CASEY: I’m a dog. Woof woof. I like to taste you. *licks my arm*

Jack was walking around slowly with his head tilted backward.

DAN: What are you doing, buddy? Are you pretending to be a zombie?

JACK: No. I’m just lookin’ at the air.

CASEY: Can you take this band-aid off my banana? *points to the sticker*

DAN: There’s a dragonfly on that branch. Can you see?

JACK: Yeah, I can see everything. I have two eyes.

Everyone else at Chase Field: *clap, clap, clap-clap-clap* LET’S GO D-BACKS!

My two year old: *clap, clap, clap-clap-clap* LET’S GO PEE PANTS!

JACK: Hey Mom, do you know all the coconuts?

ME: … what?

JACK: Like this *singing* Tell me the coconuts. Tell me the coconuts. Tell me the coconuts now… South America, North America, Central America too…

ME: … do you mean “continents”?

JACK: No, it’s just at school.

We put Casey forward facing in the van and now he backseat drives like no bodies business.

CASEY: GREEN MEANS GO, MOM. DRIVE. … see? I helped you.

I was playing with Jack when suddenly he gently brushed my hair behind my ear.

JACK: I really love you like that.