Kids Say the Darndest (November 2021)

Casey had his annual check up and right when he got his flu shot he said:
CASEY: I got hurted today!
And then later in the car he was quiet for a long time and finally said all offended:
CASEY: They shot me!


JACK: Baby shark doesn’t have arms. He just has triangles
DAN: … fins?


DAN: Who’s your favorite brother?
JACK: Casey
CASEY: Google
JACK: (offended) That’s just nothing!
CASEY Oh, okay, how about Jack.


JACK: *talking to his toy pancake* Hey Food, you want to come to my room with me? *puts his ear on top of the toy pancake* … the food says yes.


JACK: Do you wanna play a challenge game with me?
CASEY: No, I’m busy. *starts playing with a toy car* Beep beep beep


*Puts his hand on my head and then takes it off quickly*
CASEY: It was on your head.
ME: What was it?? A bug?
CASEY: No, a hand.


UNCLE JEREMY: I’m the boss!
CASEY: I’m the bus.
UNCLE JEREMY: No, I’m the boss.
CASEY: Yeah, we’re both buses.


*A legit actual conversation that happened in the minivan*

JACK: What day of the week is it?
ME: Thursday.
CASEY: No, it’s “Fives-day”
JACK: No, it’s not “Fives-day”! If it were “Fives-day” it would be the weekend! Like “Saturn-day”.
ME: … *trying not to laugh*
JACK: Mom, can we go to Saturn? I’ve never been to Saturn before.
ME: Oh, me neither.
JACK: We can go and it will have rings… (quietly) And Uncle Ryan will be there.
ME: What? *not able to hold back my laugh* Uncle Ryan lives in Utah.
JACK: …
ME: …
JACK: Can we go to Utah?
ME: Yeah, hopefully sometime soon.
JACK: (to himself) And I can wear my purple pants. Because I’ve never worn my purple pants in Utah before.

Kids Say the Darndest (Oct 2021)

Jack kept requesting this video that he called “Stinky Nose”. And we could not figure out for the life of us what “Stinky Nose” was. We were typing it full out into the YouTube search and everything and couldn’t find it. Then finally we discovered that it was a video where they put “sticky notes” all over someone’s house and apparently Jack thinks they’re called “stinky nose”.


Right after installing our Google assistant:
CASEY: Hey Google, can I have a cookie?


ME: Tomorrow you’re going to be three!
CASEY: No, I’m not going to be three. I’m going to be fourteen.
JACK: Then you would be a grown-up


ME: How old are you?
CASEY: THREE!
ME: That’s right! *goes to give a high five*
CASEY: No, this many. *puts two of my fingers down*


JACK: (out of nowhere) We don’t flush cats down the toilet right?
ME: … what?
JACK: Because then people would be sad their pet was gone.


GRANDMA: It’s available for pick up
CASEY: No not “pick up”, it’s called a “hiccup”, grandma.


*Opens a dumdum sucker.*
JACK: Ooh that looks like Saturn!


Found out this month that both of my kids think a mummy is called a “mommy”.


DAN: (teasing) Are you a bus?
CASEY: No, I’m a Casey
DAN: *grabs his foot* Is this your tire?
CASEY: …
*a full minute later*
CASEY: (to himself) I’m a bus.


JACK: I like you
ME: I like you too!
JACK: Yeah we both like us!

The Payoff

I’m sharing this story on the request of my mother, who wanted me to write it down.

Sometimes as a mom you feel like your efforts are fruitless. And I mean that. You try and try and try to get a certain thing through and you don’t see any movement at all. It can make it really difficult to keep pressing forward. For example, some days I feel over the top trying to get my boys to express their emotions and deal with them in a healthy way. And I felt like nothing was seeking in.

Well, I got lucky. One day, I got to see the payoff.

I was having a hard day. Trying to get my two year old to eat is like trying to stick the wrong end of two magnets together. It’s just NOT going to happen somedays. So I was trying and trying and trying and somehow during the shuffle a full glass of juice got knocked onto the floor. CRASH SPLASH!

I could feel myself on the verge of exploding. But I FORCED myself to be that freaking mom from Daniel Tiger and make my emotions clear but soft. I said, “I’m feeling very mad and I need to take a time out in my room!”

And then I left into my bedroom to cry.

It was quiet in the kitchen. Very quiet. And then suddenly I heard little feet shuffling and the pantry door open. Meanwhile, the bedroom door creaked open and my two-year-old sat on my lap. He put his hands gently on my cheeks and I heard my own words come back to me.

“Are you sad, Mommy? It helps to say it. You can say it, you can say, ‘I’m sad’.”

Through my tears I blurted out, “I’m sad.” And then I surprised myself by adding, “Mommy’s sad because Daddy is gone at work all day and Mommy is so tired.”

!!! I didn’t even know that’s why I was overwhelmed until my two-year-old got me to say it!

He then told me that I needed a ‘sad song” and began to sing it. ‘The sad song’ is a song that I invented and sing to my boys when they cry. These are the words:

It’s okay to be sad.

It’s okay to be mad.

But if you scream, hurt or throw that’s bad.

So put your hand on your heart,

And count to four really slow.

One… two… three… four

Now, quick! Tell me what color is your toe!

Hahaha! I don’t know. But it DID make me feel better! I had stopped crying. I went back into the kitchen where I found my actual four-year-old, MOPPING UP THE JUICE with a Swiffer! I probably started crying again. Jack put the mop away. And then suddenly, Casey was eating his lunch.

I guess the moral of the story is that you never know your impact. Most of the time, you feel like you don’t have ANY impact at all. But you really do! They remember what you say and how you act. My boys knew EXACTLY what to do for me when I was sad and it meant all the world to me.