Tag: mom

Kids Say the Darndest (December 2021)

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CASEY: *out of nowhere* You know what? I could grab a duck.

After buckling Jack into his seat, Dan let one rip and then shut the van door.

JACK: *totally disgusted* Why did Dad do that? That was so clumsy.

MALL SANTA: And what’s your name?

CASEY: *too flustered and excited* I’m Santa. I mean! I’m Santa. I mean! I’m Casey.

I’m pregnant with my third and I told the kids I had a baby in my belly.

JACK: What?? Right now?

ME: Yeah, right in there.

JACK: *super worried* But it’s gonna burst out of your belly! And tear a big hole!??

ME: … *not knowing where to start with this one*

JACK: Oh, well, I guess they could put you back together right?

ME: Yeah, I’ll go to the hospital to get the baby out.

JACK: Oh, that’s okay then.

When I told Casey that my tummy was getting bigger because of the baby he was like:

CASEY: Yeah, and Daddy’s belly too!

Jack has been so excited about the idea of a baby. He constantly talks about it.

JACK: Can I hug your baby? Can I kiss your baby? When the baby comes out I’m gonna rock him in the chair to sleep. Can we name the baby “Case”?

ME: What does the cow say?

CASEY: “Moo.”

ME: What does the Mommy say?

CASEY: “Oink oink.”

ME: Alright, listen you.

I brought home ultrasound pictures to show the boys. As they were looking at the new baby, I asked them whether they thought they were getting a new brother or a sister.

JACK: *pointing to the picture* That’s a brother because he has short hair.

Today at lunch my three-year-old randomly announced.

CASEY: You know what? I have a cool family!

JACK: I really like your hair.

ME: Aww, thank you.

JACK: And I really like your heart.

ME: *crying* Buddy! Thank you!

Kids Say the Darndest (November 2021)

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Casey had his annual check up and right when he got his flu shot he said:
CASEY: I got hurted today!
And then later in the car he was quiet for a long time and finally said all offended:
CASEY: They shot me!

JACK: Baby shark doesn’t have arms. He just has triangles
DAN: … fins?

DAN: Who’s your favorite brother?
JACK: Casey
CASEY: Google
JACK: (offended) That’s just nothing!
CASEY Oh, okay, how about Jack.

JACK: *talking to his toy pancake* Hey Food, you want to come to my room with me? *puts his ear on top of the toy pancake* … the food says yes.

JACK: Do you wanna play a challenge game with me?
CASEY: No, I’m busy. *starts playing with a toy car* Beep beep beep

*Puts his hand on my head and then takes it off quickly*
CASEY: It was on your head.
ME: What was it?? A bug?
CASEY: No, a hand.

UNCLE JEREMY: I’m the boss!
CASEY: I’m the bus.
UNCLE JEREMY: No, I’m the boss.
CASEY: Yeah, we’re both buses.

*A legit actual conversation that happened in the minivan*

JACK: What day of the week is it?
ME: Thursday.
CASEY: No, it’s “Fives-day”
JACK: No, it’s not “Fives-day”! If it were “Fives-day” it would be the weekend! Like “Saturn-day”.
ME: … *trying not to laugh*
JACK: Mom, can we go to Saturn? I’ve never been to Saturn before.
ME: Oh, me neither.
JACK: We can go and it will have rings… (quietly) And Uncle Ryan will be there.
ME: What? *not able to hold back my laugh* Uncle Ryan lives in Utah.
JACK: …
ME: …
JACK: Can we go to Utah?
ME: Yeah, hopefully sometime soon.
JACK: (to himself) And I can wear my purple pants. Because I’ve never worn my purple pants in Utah before.

Kids Say the Darndest (Oct 2021)

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Jack kept requesting this video that he called “Stinky Nose”. And we could not figure out for the life of us what “Stinky Nose” was. We were typing it full out into the YouTube search and everything and couldn’t find it. Then finally we discovered that it was a video where they put “sticky notes” all over someone’s house and apparently Jack thinks they’re called “stinky nose”.

Right after installing our Google assistant:
CASEY: Hey Google, can I have a cookie?

ME: Tomorrow you’re going to be three!
CASEY: No, I’m not going to be three. I’m going to be fourteen.
JACK: Then you would be a grown-up

ME: How old are you?
CASEY: THREE!
ME: That’s right! *goes to give a high five*
CASEY: No, this many. *puts two of my fingers down*

JACK: (out of nowhere) We don’t flush cats down the toilet right?
ME: … what?
JACK: Because then people would be sad their pet was gone.

GRANDMA: It’s available for pick up
CASEY: No not “pick up”, it’s called a “hiccup”, grandma.

*Opens a dumdum sucker.*
JACK: Ooh that looks like Saturn!

Found out this month that both of my kids think a mummy is called a “mommy”.

DAN: (teasing) Are you a bus?
CASEY: No, I’m a Casey
DAN: *grabs his foot* Is this your tire?
CASEY: …
*a full minute later*
CASEY: (to himself) I’m a bus.

JACK: I like you
ME: I like you too!
JACK: Yeah we both like us!