JACK: … *loses his train of thought and sighs* My brain was thinking without me again.

---

Casey was helping me scrub the wall and was having a hard time with a little stain.

CASEY: Ugh!! Why won’t you come off!? … … *to himself* Oh, it doesn’t have feet. That’s why it doesn’t come off.

---

We were trying to get Jack to try ‘fry sauce’ (a Utah delicacy lol).

JACK: No thanks. That looks like smooshed skin.

---

CASEY: *pointing to the merry-go-round* Can we go get dizzy please!? I want to go on the dizzy machine!

---

DAN: Jack we’re going to do something really fun tonight!

JACK: Really?? What!?

DAN: *joking* We’re going to do our taxes.

JACK: … That’s not fun. I didn’t even smile at that. I made a bored face.

---

CASEY: Mom, can you do me a flavor?

---

JACK: *pointing to Dan’s Mountain Dew* Can I have some of that?

DAN: Not right now Buddy.

JACK: Pleeeeease! It tastes like power!

---

Whenever we play Marco Polo, Casey always yells “Bingo!”. No matter how many times he hears it the right way.

---

JACK: *talking to himself* C’mon Bruh. Just get out and shoo, bru

---

Casey absolutely INSISTED that he had a very important message to tell his Dad. He made me help him write a note and then we drove to Dan’s work and left it on his car’s windshield. This was the super important message:

“Dad. Cowboy hat. Don’t ride a horse without one.”

JACK: Hey, Mom. *puts his glasses on his forehead* My brain’s looking at you.

---

ME: This was from my grandpa. But he passed away.

JACK: Oh that’s so sad.

CASEY: Oh no, why did your grandpa skip away?

---

JACK: (pointing to a bottle of Gatorade) Can I have some of that Gator Raider?

---

Casey constantly says, “I’m four my old!” because he legitimately thinks we’re saying that he’s a ‘four your old’.

---

Picking up kids from school.

Jack’s friend EM: (bluntly) It smells like poop in here.

JACK: I would say it smells more like a stylish soap.

---

I was trying to sweep under the table when Casey rushed over and took the broom from me.

CASEY: Don’t worry! Casey’s here!… (to himself under his breath) there’s nothing that I can’t do.

---

I got after the boys for pestering the baby too much and then Jack yelled,

JACK: Then you need to stop bringing her over here to us because otherwise we can’t stop being rude to her or being her best friend! She’s too cute!

---

I put on Casey’s rain jacket and zipped it halfway.

ME: Okay now you can go outside.

CASEY: I’m not ready. There’s still more zipping to do!

---

JACK: *loses at his video game* CHICKEN NUGGETS!

---

ME: Singing Let It Be. When I find myself in times of trouble. Mother Mary comes to me. Speaking words of wisdom. Let it be.

CASEY: *gasps* That’s like MY mommy!

ME: Ah baby! That’s so sweet!

CASEY: Like when she helps me when I poo poo in my pants and I’m sad. And she tells me it’s gonna be okay.

CASEY: *pointing to a white rose* Is this a cactus?
ME: You need to get out of Arizona once and a while.

---

JACK: This is an easy one. What’s 100 + 80?
ME: I don’t know what?
JACK: 180!
ME: Ohhhh.
JACK: Here’s a harder one. What’s baby + daddy?
ME: What?
JACK: A baby daddy.
ME: Hahaha what?
JACK: See that was a harder one.

---

CAEY: (bawling his absolute eyes out) I need help!
ME: Help with what?
CASEY: To fart on Jack!

---

ME: Jack can you hand me that pillow on the floor?
JACK: *points to a wrapped up dirty diaper* This?
ME: … No dude.

---

CASEY: I’m so sweaty! I’m one billion sweaty!

---

Jack takes his first sip of Mountain Dew ever.

JACK: This tastes like a yellow charge.

---

Casey has THE cutest habit of accidentally substituting a word for a different word. For example:

CASEY: Mom, watch out. That stick is so, so shark.

Or

CASEY: Mom, I have a new toy car.

ME: Oh, did Daddy tell you what it was?

CASEY: Yes it’s a porch car. I love my new porch.

---

We were trying to explain crushes to Jack (after his friend brought it up in the car).

ME: A crush is when you love someone so much and they are so special.

DAD: Do you have a crush on someone?

JACK: (thinks a bit) Yes. My crush is baby Andie.

---

CASEY: (taking giant steps) Prints. Prints. Prints. Prints.
ME: What are you doing?
CASEY: I’m leaving all my footprints on the floor see?
ME: (laughing) You’re so cute!
CASEY: I’m not cute. But flowers are!

---

Randomly during dinner, Jack blurts out

JACK: That would be so hard if everyone in the world was a baby.

---

*Dan and I talking in 2014*

ME: What do you think our kids are going to be like?

DAN: I hope they have the very best qualities of both you and I.

*2023*

CASEY: (running around with his matchbox cars) I’m a bad guy I’m going to get away from the police! You can’t put me in jail! I’m gonna fart attack you! Pbbbbbtttth! Heh heh heh now you’re all icky! (high pitched voice) Oh no! Call the ambulance! We need a mechanic! We’re all farted!