A Blog Post Literally Complaining About My Fridge

When we bought our house almost three years ago, the fridge “did not convey”. It was the first time my husband and I got to pick out our own appliance, so I put a ton of research into the thing! There were certain features that I was super picky about. It had to be black to match both the existing appliances and my emo heart. I also specifically did not want a water dispenser on the outside because I thought my little toddlers would turn it into a shower. We spent a lot of time browsing until we found the right one. Black, no water dispenser, and the double doors we’ve always dreamt of. There was also this special feature of an alarm that would go off if the door was accidentally left open. Very kid friendly I thought.

Well… yeah.

Don’t get me wrong this is a super nice fridge, it’s just…

First world problems but it doesn’t fill up the space like I thought it would. Which is my fault for not measuring correctly / being cheap and choosing a smaller fridge. I thought it would look okay but as soon as they put it in I was like … ew. The gap was so wide that I tried to utilize it by storing my brooms there but that just looked worse honestly. Plus whenever my kids played around the fridge a broom would slip out from the crack and smack them on the heads like a ghost from an old timey cartoon.

Okay and speaking of ghosts. I guess I should have taken it seriously when more than one review mentioned the “scary sounds” coming from the fridge. Because now every time someone comes over they think the thing is haunted. “Sorry, I know that sounds like the windy whisper of Hannibal Lector eating Fava beans, but it’s actually just my fridge.” One review said he kept getting “scared sh*tless” by the noise of the fridge… but only in the middle of the night. I remember laughing and thinking that guy was dramatic but he was UNDERSELLING IT. This fridge will randomly drop a pound of ice at three in the morning and it sounds like a burglar smashing his way through the wall like the Kool-aid Man.

Oh my gosh that ice tray too. It will fill it all the way up to the top and the freezer is so fricking small that when I try to shut the drawer over the box of Uncrustables, several ice cubes will just shoot out and roll all over the floor.

Also I swear the ice smells like wet dog sometimes? I’ve never heard Daniel complain about this. So maybe I have a brain injury I don’t remember about.

That door alarm that I thought was such a useful feature HAHAHAHAHA. Now it’s just a stressful race to put your groceries away in under ten minutes or get screamed at.

That’s not even all the sounds we have problems with. The waterline in the back is like a freaking wrecking ball or something. When you fill up your kids little plastic cup with water it’s like KaCHOONK KaCHOONK every single time you press the button. And my wimpy little finger can’t hold the dang thing down so it’s KaCHOONKING the entire time which drives my husband nuts. I have a standard size Hydroflask and it takes two entire minutes for it to dribble and kaCHOONK full.

I thought that water dispenser inside the fridge was SUCH a selling point with little kids. But what I forgot is that kids are not toddlers forever. And at some point they’re going to start filling up their own water glasses. But when they’re too small to reach it they will actually climb INSIDE your fridge and stand on the ledge to fill their cup. Then when it takes them too long, that FREAKING DOOR ALARM GOES OFF. And your child is traumatized and crying for you to rescue them from inside the refrigerator.

TLDR Pros: keeps food from rotting, can hold 2 gallons of milk if you push the shelf in. Cons: whispers like the souls of the damned, throws ice at you, sounds a fire alarm when you’re trying to put away your cream cheese, freezes your child to their pull-ups as they kaCHOONK water.

18 Thoughts I Had While Watching Bridgerton

Well I finally sat down and watched all of Bridgerton. The postpartum hormones always dictate that I must binge a period romance, so I knew this show would hit just right.

1. Important things first: Simon’s butt looks totally fake. Who has a butt like that?? Like two perfect cocoa bowling balls side by side.

2. I like how the bun on Lady Danbury’s head keeps drooping to the side because honestly girl, same.

3 Pretty cool to see minorities in roles that I otherwise wouldn’t see them perform.

4 Why the f does Daphne look like an exact replica of the Wendy Darling cartoon?

5 This is a hecka spicy show. This is two chili symbols on a Thai menu spicy.

6 Wow Simon’s sperm donor of a father is the human equivalent of rat poison.

7. Wait, wait, wait you can have sex on a ladder!?!? Is that possible?

8. Oh, the staircase now? These people have a step fetish.

9 I told Dan that for some reason the swelling orchestral pop covers during the sex scenes made me blush/cringe more. He asked me if I’d rather have 70s porno music and like … maybe??? Idk why it’s so embarrassing to me

10 It’s season two and where is Simon? Simon is just gone now. This major character is a passing commentary now.

11. Why don’t I remember season two as well as season one? All I remember is that Edwina didn’t deserve any of this.

12 Kate has insanely beautiful cheekbones. Is there a better way to say this? Bone structure? “Girl. Nice skull. Good job growing that.”

13. This gazebo has seen more action than I have all summer.

14 Look I’ll say it, Colin Bridgerton is the most naïve dude. Unpopular opinion, but maybe Penn is too good for him after all. She’s definitely too smart for him anyway.

15 Maybe this is me projecting my own neurodivergence, but at first I really disliked Eustace… Wait wtf that’s not her name. That’s the old man from Courage the Cowardly Dog. Eunice? … Eloise!!! WOW. ok. Anyways at first I found her character irritating but after finishing the series I decided that actually no, she is the best one. She is the best Bridgerton. Next season can be her season and all the subsequent seasons like I don’t really care.

16 PS after Googling Eloise’s name I found out Julie Andrews does the voice-over for Lady Whistledown wtf. How did I not piece that together myself???

17 Why do I have such a weakness for men with trauma-induced quirks? THAT STUTTER. THAT FEAR OF BEES.

18 Welp. I finished that in two days… When does season three come out?

12 Thoughts I Had Watching Stranger Things Season 4

Spoilers obviously. Because I’m too lazy to edit myself.

1. I like Eddie. But probably because he is straight ten under that Glam Metal wig. Haha hey Doja Cat ain’t wrong.

2. There are too many antagonists to keep track of. We got The Russians, Russian demogorgon, Russian demodogs, Russian peanut butter smuggler, Brennar, Sullivan, Brennar’s men, Sullivan’s men, Vecna, the serial killer from the 50s, the serial killer that turns out to be Henry that turns out to be 001 that turns out to be Vecna, Angelica, the entire skating rink for some reason, the other psychic kids at the lab, Jason, the basketball team, the angry hicks, bats, vines, vague mind flayer references, Will’s haircut.

3. The way the Duffer Bros does bullies is so weird to me. Remember in season one when the kid forced Mike to jump to his death or else he’d cut out Dustin’s teeth with a pocket knife (like holy sh*t what haha)

4. I don’t know who I want to complain more about, Jason or Sullivan… Alright Jason.

5. What the eff is this guy doing? I totally get being upset about your girlfriend’s murder but breaking into people’s houses with baseball bats, buying guns and tormenting little girls at the playground are not it bro. IMHO I think Jason should’ve just been a normal non-asshole kid who is trying to solve his girlfriend’s murder and gets caught up in the cult theory. It still could have culminated to the showdown with Lucas at the end and it would have been more intense stakes vs annoying af.

6. My favorite thing about Jason is how much of a better suspect he would have been over Eddie. He has connections to two of the victims. His attempts to pin things on Munson are SO over the top and violent. The police quite literally find him at the scene of the crime. And yet when he incites a riot of townspeople they’re like ‘This is fine.’ LOL Just reiterating, it would’ve been far more interesting to have him be a normal kid trying to clear his name instead of an irritating little 💩

7. Also the interpersonal conflict between protagonists is sooooo stale. Literally the only conflict is “You don’t romantically love me as much as I romantically love you.” It’s boooooring. I’m booooooored. Can’t they do two characters disagreeing on a plan? Or like some misunderstanding? Maybe Steve or Nancy really believes Eddie is bad news like idk please anything else.

8. Most of the original characters are so blah now. I find Will to be a tragically underused character. Here is someone who literally lived and survived in the Upside Down for months, was connected into the hive mind, and yet no one comes to him for advice or seems to care about him in general. In season one, they repeatedly talked about how he was the smartest of the kids, but in seasons three and four he spends all his screen time crying.

9. The Russian storyline is kinda stupid… but not as stupid as the season 3 Russian base under the mall. THE. MALL. “Wherre should we poot top secrret base?” “How about underrneath public place with hundreds of civilian fooot trraffic?” HAHAHA remember how they discovered it too? They heard the damn kiddie carousel in the background of the Russian transmission. Why would the carousel be audible in the transmission!?!? Was he riding it while he recorded it? THE MALL BASE PLOT IS SO STUPID.

10. Is it just me or did Robin’s personality completely invert?? Like last season she was a snarky genius who learned Russian in a day or whatever (lawls). But this season she’s been reduced to this ditzy “Oh noooooo but what if I trip!?!?!?” I mean idk maybe I don’t remember her in last season very well.

11. Wait WHAT!?!?!? What do you mean Jamie Campbell Bower did the Vecna voice with no alterations. What??? WHAT??? How is that range humanly possible? Here I’ll link a video you can see how talented he is. https://youtube.com/shorts/kbUnmdCHcX4?feature=share

12. R U serious? Those mother-duffers always kill off the best ones. Can’t wait to see Eddie come back as a vampire next season.