Why is House Hunting Exactly like Dating?

So, I mentioned in my last post that Dan and I have become serious about house buying. Woo hoo! But also AAAH scary!

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I’ve always loved looking at houses, browsing floor plans, perusing open houses and so I thought that the process would be a lot of fun.

Nope.

Guess what it basically was.

Dating.

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I’m serious. It felt the freaking same dude. Every weekend you’re going out to see them and getting to know them and trying to figure out if maybe there’s a future there. And hi! It was just as stressful. To be completely honest.

One guy would have a great kitchen, but kind of a horrible backyard. Another guy would be like not great curb appeal, but wasn’t looking for cookie-cutter anyway I could give him a chance. Ooh, this guy has a lot of what I’m looking for… Woah, never mind, no way I can afford this guy. It was basically exhausting.

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We had the long-distance relationship thing. Perfect house, great looking, big lot, kid-friendly. But he was just too darn far away. Like out in the middle of nowhere far away. As much as we loved him, we couldn’t figure out how to make it work between us.

We even had the toxic relationship thing…

One day I swiped right on Zillow. And wow, this house was really attractive. I mean, everyone was going after this house. I tried to set up a private date with my realtor but when I got there, everyone else and their literal dog were there. Like busier than an actual open house.

At first, I was insecure, like should I offer? He’s way too handsome! But he accepted MY offer! Out of everyone! And I was SO stoked!

And then we got the inspection done.

And I was like, wow dude. You need some work. Your AC unit is 30 years old. You need new paint and your pool is trashed, bro. But no, our relationship was AS IS. So OKAY FINE. I’ll just deal with it. Whatever. We can still make this work.

And then the appraisal came in.

20K LOWER than our original deal. He wasn’t going to change. He was seriously NOT GOING TO CHANGE A THING ABOUT HIMSELF, NOT EVEN HIS PRICE. So we were like BOY BYE!!!

And I swear to you, this ex house was pending another girls offer like not even a week later. WOW.

So glad to be out of THAT situation. Not worth it.

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Things kind of lowkey sucked for the next couple of weeks. I just couldn’t feel a connection with any other house. I was even thinking about stopping the house hunt for a while and like hunting myself. You know? Just to slow things down and figure out what I really want.

BUT… I have to tell you…

Dan and I have been dating a house and it’s pretty serious. Like seriously serious. Like accepted offer serious. We still have to go through the whole inspection/appraisal snafu again. But, I really actually think this one is THE ONE.

Updates to come later!

The Time I REALLY Told the Wrong Punchline

When my husband and I were dating, I decided that I was going to tell him a little joke…

I’m not going to tell you what the joke was, because honestly it was an inappropriate joke and I shouldn’t have been telling it in the first place. All I’ll say, is that it had to do with a handshake and a leprechaun.

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That’s it… that’s all I’m going to tell you about it.

As I begin to tell him, I remembered how funny the punchline was… and it made me laugh before I could even get to said punchline. I started laughing really hard. So hard that … I farted. Audibly.

I vividly remember Dan blinking in confusion, wondering if that was part of the joke. IT WAS NOT. But now I’m laughing and crying of pure humiliation. And I never was able to finish that joke.

It was bad. But he still married me.

 

Just a short story today. You can click HERE for more embarrassing stories if you want to laugh at me. Go ahead… it’s fine… I won’t even know…