critique

Spoilers obviously. Because I’m too lazy to edit myself.

1. I like Eddie. But probably because he is straight ten under that Glam Metal wig. Haha hey Doja Cat ain’t wrong.

2. There are too many antagonists to keep track of. We got The Russians, Russian demogorgon, Russian demodogs, Russian peanut butter smuggler, Brennar, Sullivan, Brennar’s men, Sullivan’s men, Vecna, the serial killer from the 50s, the serial killer that turns out to be Henry that turns out to be 001 that turns out to be Vecna, Angelica, the entire skating rink for some reason, the other psychic kids at the lab, Jason, the basketball team, the angry hicks, bats, vines, vague mind flayer references, Will’s haircut.

3. The way the Duffer Bros does bullies is so weird to me. Remember in season one when the kid forced Mike to jump to his death or else he’d cut out Dustin’s teeth with a pocket knife (like holy sh*t what haha)

4. I don’t know who I want to complain more about, Jason or Sullivan… Alright Jason.

5. What the eff is this guy doing? I totally get being upset about your girlfriend’s murder but breaking into people’s houses with baseball bats, buying guns and tormenting little girls at the playground are not it bro. IMHO I think Jason should’ve just been a normal non-asshole kid who is trying to solve his girlfriend’s murder and gets caught up in the cult theory. It still could have culminated to the showdown with Lucas at the end and it would have been more intense stakes vs annoying af.

6. My favorite thing about Jason is how much of a better suspect he would have been over Eddie. He has connections to two of the victims. His attempts to pin things on Munson are SO over the top and violent. The police quite literally find him at the scene of the crime. And yet when he incites a riot of townspeople they’re like ‘This is fine.’ LOL Just reiterating, it would’ve been far more interesting to have him be a normal kid trying to clear his name instead of an irritating little 💩

7. Also the interpersonal conflict between protagonists is sooooo stale. Literally the only conflict is “You don’t romantically love me as much as I romantically love you.” It’s boooooring. I’m booooooored. Can’t they do two characters disagreeing on a plan? Or like some misunderstanding? Maybe Steve or Nancy really believes Eddie is bad news like idk please anything else.

8. Most of the original characters are so blah now. I find Will to be a tragically underused character. Here is someone who literally lived and survived in the Upside Down for months, was connected into the hive mind, and yet no one comes to him for advice or seems to care about him in general. In season one, they repeatedly talked about how he was the smartest of the kids, but in seasons three and four he spends all his screen time crying.

9. The Russian storyline is kinda stupid… but not as stupid as the season 3 Russian base under the mall. THE. MALL. “Wherre should we poot top secrret base?” “How about underrneath public place with hundreds of civilian fooot trraffic?” HAHAHA remember how they discovered it too? They heard the damn kiddie carousel in the background of the Russian transmission. Why would the carousel be audible in the transmission!?!? Was he riding it while he recorded it? THE MALL BASE PLOT IS SO STUPID.

10. Is it just me or did Robin’s personality completely invert?? Like last season she was a snarky genius who learned Russian in a day or whatever (lawls). But this season she’s been reduced to this ditzy “Oh noooooo but what if I trip!?!?!?” I mean idk maybe I don’t remember her in last season very well.

11. Wait WHAT!?!?!? What do you mean Jamie Campbell Bower did the Vecna voice with no alterations. What??? WHAT??? How is that range humanly possible? Here I’ll link a video you can see how talented he is. https://youtube.com/shorts/kbUnmdCHcX4?feature=share

12. R U serious? Those mother-duffers always kill off the best ones. Can’t wait to see Eddie come back as a vampire next season.

I went to that conference I said I was going to go to. And it was super helpful. Um, not in the way that I thought it would be though.

I had a critique workshop. And oh, boy. You know yours isn’t very good when everyone pauses before their critique and goes, “Okay, yeah… … so this one…”

critiqueaww

*Me, listening to their critiques with my hand on my chin.* Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yep. Okay. Perfect! I know exactly how to fix this.

*scoops entire manuscript off the desk and into the wastebasket underneath*

I’m kind of glad. From the beginning, I knew this had some really messy challenges. It was the first novel that I had ever formally finished and even though the premise is cool, it’s extremely difficult to pin down and write… and have it make any sense.

I spent the first day of the conference mourning the unpublishable mess I had scooped together, and then the next day of the conference pushed me in a really good direction. I realized that through all of the obsession over publishing I had completely abandoned my original dream (I couldn’t think of a less dramatic way to say it haha). That dream is to one day in my lifetime, have an entire bookcase full of my own printed-out manuscripts. I’ll always aspire to be traditionally published, but I have too many book ideas to be married to just one.

The fog lifted. The direction became clear. I NEED to start writing my next book IMMEDIATELY. That has been the obvious take away from both the conference… and also from being aggressively haunted…

haunted

Yeah, so, okay. There are muses. And then there is Lennon. I’ve already mentioned how pushy he is as a muse … it’s no joke. I COMPLETELY understand why there are THOUSANDS of books and movies (and Broadway plays even) that are all about him. Because honestly, once he picks you. You’re done. You’re writing something for him right then and there. Maybe that’s even how he continues to influence music. I mean, probably.

musician

I tried to read a book. A manuscript for my critique partner. And this imaginary Lennon-presence-thing would have none of it.

LENNON: Reading again, ay?

ME: Go away, John, this has nothing to do with you.

LENNON: Hmm, you’re right you know. How about this ol’ bookie that Cyn wrote about me, then?

ME: No, thanks.

LENNON: Let’s have a look…

ME: I already committed to—

LENNON: LET’S HAVE A LOOK THEN, SHALL WE!

So, whatever, I ended up switching mid-way through for one of the books that Cynthia Lennon wrote. (“John”) I read it in like a single day, because of this imaginary shotgun to the head. At the end of the book she mentions that John had once told Julian that if anything were to ever happen to him, he would send a white feather. So that anytime Julian saw a white feather he would know that ‘John was there and watching out for him’. Which I thought was a really nice sentiment.

OKAY UNTIL WHITE FEATHERS STARTED SPONTANEOUSLY POPPING UP ALL AROUND ME EVERY FREAKING DAY.

The first time, it was a cool anomaly. I was walking the boys to my neighbor’s house and there it was. A perfect pure white tail feather. I was ecstatic, because wow, what were the odds of finding a pure white feather the day after finishing that book? I took a picture even.

20190726_114437 — awkward phone shadow bro

I began seeing white feathers every single day (still do btw). On the sidewalk, on my car, on the playground, even in the pool.

One time, we took the kids outside to play and I told my husband about how weird it was that I was finding these perfectly white feathers all over. He totally laughed at me. He said, “Okay, just because you have a little crush on John Lennon you think he’s trying to give you a sign or something…” I shrugged. Because, yeah, that was probably right. And I went inside the apartment to get the boys a drink of water…

My husband swears that right after our conversation, as soon as I shut the door behind myself, A WHITE FEATHER DROPPED FROM A BIRD AS IT FLEW OVERHEAD, RIGHT WHERE I HAD BEEN. And he got the heebie jeebies … and now he doesn’t make fun of me for it anymore…

But even after that, I was like, wow. Pretty funny coincidence…

Do I need to mention again how pushy this muse is?

John-being-cheeky-in-the-plane-the-beatles-41011791-497-322

This one day, I’m coming back from lunch with the boys. I get out of my car. Notice the feather. Haha, there’s my feather for the day. Cute. Still happening. I take another step. Another feather. Step. Feather. Step. Feather.

I freaking look up to see -THIS IS NOT A JOKE OR MADE UP STORY OR PRANK PULLED BY MY HUSBAND THIS IS A REAL THING THAT HAPPENED THE OTHER DAY – small white feathers were scattered on both sides of the pavement leading all the way up to my front door.

I slowly walk inside with my children. Turn the deadbolt. And call Ghostbusters.

Anyway, long story short, I started writing a book about John Lennon. So, that’s fun!

Tag: critique

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