This is my all time favorite theater mishap story to tell. I can’t help laughing anytime I think about it.
So I was in this darling children’s play. My friend had written a stage adaption for the children’s book Ferdinand the Bull. And in this play, we had puppets. When the bull characters are kids at the beginning of the play, they are portraited with puppets. The actors would be on stage with our little puppets walking them around… almost as if we were out there playing with stuffed animals (just to give you the idea). Then at the very end, we would get into our full bull costumes in order to become ‘the adult versions”.
This…… to this.
It was a day play. And since we performed for school kids we typically held shows in the morning. One of my fellow actors had a night job as a security guard at the time. We’ll call him… Ryan, or something. So more often than not, Ryan would work a graveyard and then come straight to the theater right afterward. So in his defense… that would make any human being just a wee bit more than loopy!
I was supposed to come barreling out with my puppet (Torpedo) run him around the stage and start fighting with Ryan’s puppet. We had this like goofy little fight choreographed where the puppets got up on their hind legs and kick each other, spin around and flip! It was really cute and the kids loved it.
So I get ready to bust out through the curtains like any other day. I hear my cue. Bam! And what do I see? I don’t see Ryan with a little puppet. Oh no. I see Ryan in his grown-up bull costume on all fours.
Ummmmmm kay.
There was this weird moment where the play just froze. I completely stopped dead in my tracks and stared at Ryan. Ryan looked back at me with this freaking unforgettable face. His smile said this is perfectly normal. But his eyes said I’ve made a serious mistake, please help.
Um, the show must go on, I guess? I kept going with the scene. I ran around and fought Ryan with my puppet. Everything that we had blocked out with these little toy puppets, he now had to do himself. I can’t even begin to tell you how awkward that was. Slamming my little-stuffed animal into his head and him like wiggling his arms and batting the puppet around. I don’t know how it was even possible to keep face and not laugh at how confusing this must be to the audience. Like, why?? What is the artistic direction in this? Why are these kid bulls hanging around this creepy adult bull? I don’t even know.
The best part is, he was in too deep. He couldn’t even fix his mistake, because now the audience thinks that’s part of the show. He had to do THE WHOLE REST OF THE SHOW in this adult bull costume that’s only supposed to be at the end. Every weird thing we had blocked with the puppets, he had to try to mimic.
… Whenever I have a bad day, I just think of this.
Here’s a quick break-down of the main characters in the TV show that I’m writing and the actors that I think could play them. Ideally, I wouldn’t want any well-known actors because I feel that would make the show less relatable. (Just my personal preference) BUT the problem with make-believe casting them is that I only know well-known actors… so here’s as close as it would be.
(Also! Just want to note that because it’s an autobiographical show, these characters are inspired by real people. However, that doesn’t mean that they are real people. For example, MOST of my characters are made up from multiple people that I’ve met. And some of their character descriptions have been altered from real life to fiction.)
ELLE “The Protagonist”
ELLE is a sixteen-year-old human contradiction. She is a very wholesome girl who attends church weekly but has a closet obsession with Halloween and everything horror. She’s talented at public speaking, yet dreads attending large parties. Although she is a fairly pretty girl, she dresses like a mid-aged suburban mom.
It’s hard to cast yourself, but I think someone like Emily Osment would be able to do the job. I need someone who would be able to do comedy and drama interchangeably. Not only that but someone who could showcase the contrast between “wholesome Elle” and “punk Elle”.
Me and other me
When we did the concept art for the show, I cast a young local actress, Hailey, as Elle for the pictures. My photographer pointed out how alike we acted. She flat out said, “Hailey IS Elle”. I would absolutely cast her as me. She’s a talented actress and I feel confident that she would do an excellent job.
RONNIE “The Bad Influence”
RONNIE (17) is a reflection of ELLE’s contradictory personality. He’s a generally quiet person, but really has very little inhibitions. He knows everything there is to know about cool music and his life revolves around it. Under his black and beaten style he is actually quite tall, dark and handsome.
I think a young Diego Luna would be cool as Ronnie. I just really envision this role being played by a Hispanic actor. I don’t know why. The person who inspired this character isn’t even remotely Hispanic.
JEREMY “The Troublemaker”
JEREMY (18) a long-haired “burn-out” dressed in ripped jeans, a black hoodie and beanie. He’s the type of kid that sits in the back of the class and everyone suspects is the uni-bomber. To find another person with even half of his passion would prove impossible. He’s an avid defender of things being just and fair and would probably have the gumption to murder someone over it, if he didn’t love his mother so much.
Okay, I know that casting this person would require a time machine, even more so than the others. But I just don’t care. I want teenage Richard Dreyfus to play this role SO bad. My heart is totally set on it. Not even the real Jeremy can change my mind.
BRANDON “The Judgmental Ex”
He has thick hair and a sharp, pointy face. That fact that he is attractive in only the mildest sense does nothing to deflate his Adonic self-concept. BRANDON (17) is a very clean cut boy, and although there is no conscious reason not to like him something is very insincere about the way he smiles.
Will freaking Poulter. Oh my gosh, just look at this kid’s face. Don’t you just want him to see him be a snooty villain? Plus Poulter’s comedic timing is impeccable which is just what this over-the-top character needs.
TAYLOR “The Bridge”
TAYLOR (17) is a stunning, dark-haired girl. She is unenthused about being at rehearsal since she had auditioned for the play just a few weeks ago and didn’t make the cut. Her not being cast was probably chalked up to school politics rather than talent, because TAYLOR is very good at acting. In fact, she is very good at everything. She excels at school. She is the president of the student association. She is even very good at being naturally beautiful which is churning JEREMY’S stomach just looking at her.
I just have a feeling that someone like Emily Browning would do a good job as Taylor. And that’s really it… nothing more than just a feeling. Logically, I want to say that someone like Miranda Cosgrove would be able to pull off her personality better but I’m just stuck on Emily Browning for some reason.
TYSON “The Voice of Reason”
ELLE turns to her desk partner TYSON (17) a smart, well-dressed kid. He’s a master of dry humor and is constantly lost in his own irony. He’s the one that you can always count on for the truth even when you don’t want to hear it.
There’s a myriad of YouTube personalities that could fit well as Tyson. Shane Dawson is both sarcastic and personable enough to be able to capture this more complex character.
ADAM “The Mysterious New Student”
The door swings open and in breezes ADAM (17) a classic Hollywood-handsome boy. Every girl in class drops her jaw, including ELLE. As ADAM walks down the aisle amongst the chairs, several of the girls quickly move their purses and backpacks off of the seats next to them. He quietly picks a seat in the back of the room away from everyone.
This is the only character that I care about being “good-looking”. And that’s only because it moves some of the plot elements forward. I feel like Adam would be the hardest character to cast for hands down. It would need to be someone effortlessly talented, since Adam has to make the audience feel the entire spectrum of emotions. I’m still not sold on anyone, but maybe if I could resurrect a healthier River Phoenix. He could probably pull it off.
CASEY “The Second Act Hero”
If CASEY (16) didn’t look so humanistic you might mistake him for a puppy. Excitable, friendly and loud – very loud. Fiercely loyal, athletic, always thinking about food… CASEY is absolutely dripping with personality and leaves puddles of personality everywhere he walks.
To cast a Casey it would have to be a Casey. So I would look at actors who just radiate fun. Someone like Zach Levi or Chris Pratt (without all the fame to his name).
Also I want to cast my teenage celebrity crush, Ricky Ullman, as my husband when he appears in the series.
AM I WRONG?!??
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