The 20 Worst Things About Playing ‘Among Us’

My family and I are in love with this little game… but there are definitely some downsides… here are the top 20 worst parts about playing ‘Among Us’ online:

1 .02 seconds after everyone pops into your room and start bombarding the chat with this

RED: Start

PURPLE: Start

YELLOW: strt

RED: Start

RED: Start

YELLOW: strt pls

2 But then half of the players bail the same second they find out they’re not The Imposter

SelfAbsorbed has just left the game.

3 When someone slams the emergency button just to tell you this

WHITE: Guys, I have scan. Watch me?

4 Or when someone comes on the chat with this bullcrap

LIME: Who wants to date? How old are you?

CYAN: 12

LIME: Cool! Uh yeah, me too.

ME:

5 And all the preteens make fun of you when you lecture them not to give out their personal info

CYAN: lol it’s my phone number not my social security number

6 When you witness and report the murder and everyone votes you off instead

BLACK: self report

7 When none of the other ghosts want to have a spooky side chat

PURPLE: Pink did me, who killed u?

8 When The Imposter executes a perfect “stack kill” and you can’t tell who it was.

RED: skip i guess

BROWN: skip

9 When you’re fixing wires and you see someone run up behind you

10 When The Imposter keeps turning the lights off but AIN’T NO WAY YOU GOIN INTO THE DARK ELECTRIC ROOM TO FIX IT

11 When you sus the wrong person and then you look sus for getting them thrown off

12 When someone dies and their pet mourns them in the cafeteria

13 When the settings are on 3,800 tasks rather than 4-5

14 Or when the voting time is a full ten minutes…

15 And there’s always that one guy who takes the full ten minutes to vote

RED: BLUE!!! VOTE!!

PINK: Kick him!!

16. When the speed isn’t what you’re used to and you’re either crawling through mud or slamming around like a pinball

ORANGE: Purple sus he was running into walls instead of fixing reactor

PURPLE: Bruh! This 3X player speed is out of control!

17. When you’re waiting for the game to start and someone asks

BROWN: Hey can I have pink?

18. Even worse when someone responds with

PINK: No.

19. When someone shows up with the same cheese hat as you and you have to change into a pair of candy canes

20. When it’s two in the morning and you finally have to stop playing

ME: Okay one more game.

ME: Okay one more.

ME: One more game.

5 Reason’s Why you Loved The Queen’s Gambit

A TV show about chess. Why were we so obsessed?

I binged this show in a handful of days. MESMERIZED TO TEARS. This was one of the few series that reminds me how desperately passionate I am about storytelling. Here are my authorly reasons why this series was so captivating. (lite spoilers)

1. They take their time in a meaningful way

Personally, as a writer I’m terrible at this, so I was just in AWE of how flawlessly they pulled this off. It was really a genius move to make a limited series rather than a full movie. They slowed everything down to fully develop the story and the characters throughout the episodes, but it didn’t FEEL slow. And that’s because each shot and scene were purposeful toward the narrative.

You don’t have any of that heavy misplaced exposition. You don’t hear some character droning on about how “Margret from high school became a sad alcoholic.” The MC runs into Margret at the store and hears the liquor bottles clink under the baby carriage. And that’s it. It’s never explicitly said. But we know exactly what it means.  Proving that YES, you can pull off show vs tell in a cinematic sense. 

The Queen’s Gambit is FULL of this brilliant storytelling. Taking time to really show what the other characters are thinking and feeling without saying it. I think the most capital example is the way the Borgov raises his eyebrows when Beth resigns her Paris game in tears. That expression alone. That .04 seconds of screen time and YOU KNOW. You know that character is not the ruthless Soviet antagonist. You know Borgov is a sympathetic man who completely understands Beth. That shot perfectly sets up his warm reaction toward her in the end. (Which made me bawl by the way thank you very much) Such dynamic characters! LET’S TALK ABOUT THAT!

2. The characters are real

Be honest… did you or did you not Google whether Beth Harmon was a real person? BECAUSE IT FELT LIKE A TRUE STORY. If you told me it was a true story, I wouldn’t have flinched! And not just Beth but each character is so carefully developed and detailed with their own voices and experiences. They’re not just pegs of a stool holding up the protagonist, any ONE of them could have had a compelling series themselves.

I never stop complaining about “the generic good-looking cast” that so many movies dish out. It makes the whole movie seem like a catalog ad and not a believable set of people. So I really appreciated that they let the people LOOK real. Even Beth, who in the show is called “pretty” many times, and yeah she is, but in a REAL kind of way. Like someone you would sit across from at the airport. Not a matte photo of a model at a beach shoot.

Another thing I noticed, is they would introduce a seemingly small character and then bring them back a few episodes later. This happened over and over again! Which said one thing to me… this writer loved their characters. This writer loved their characters so much that they had to bring them back and add more and more details. Their crooked teeth. The knife they carry. The full detailed life they had since they last saw Beth. I fell in love with these characters because the creators loved them. And they were actual meaningful driving forces in the protagonists life.


3. The simplicity

I just imagine the original author pitching the novel like:

Tevis: Okay, so there’s this orphan…

Publisher: Yeah?

Tevis: And she’s really good at chess.

Publisher: Okay.

Tevis: Like… super good.

Publisher: … … Can she at least have an addiction of some sort?

Tevis: Yeah, probably. But it’s mostly that she’s really good at chess.

(On my TBD list)

I have never been SO invested in chess in all my life. I never thought I would be on the edge of my seat watching so many chess matches. Caring SO MUCH whether or not this character was going to win. And that’s it! I do think the addiction aspect gave Beth a nice arc and made a clear self-antagonist… but really I cared way more about the chess than anything else. Because BETH cares about the chess more than anything else! We get it! Through the story-telling we understand that for this character, chess is the goal, the motivation and the stakes. And we believe the simplicity. She’s passionate about chess and that’s it.

4. Let’s talk about that actress!

Anya Taylor-Joy. Girl. Wow.

A trait of the Beth Harmon character is that she is solemn and mostly expressionless. That would be SUCH a challenge to portray well. I don’t know HOW they pulled this off, but they really did! I was completely sucked into her emotions. At every moment you knew how she was feeling without obvious expression on her face. Brilliantly done! If she were losing a chess match, fists up to the sides of her temples. If she were winning, fingers clasped under the chin. The consistency was flawless. Not just the adult actress but her childhood counterpart as well. They seamlessly made the character one.

5. THE PRODUCTION WAS SO BEAUTIFUL AND DETAILED

I love the sixties. I mean, obviously I do. And I love time period dramas. Of course. SO HELLO! No wonder I was a little biased towards this show. The music was SO good! So fitting too! And THE OUTFITS!! THE PRETTY PRETTY OUTFITS! ALL THE OUTFITS! GIVE ME ALL THE OUTFITS MORE MORE MORE

Excuse me while I swoon over this show for another three months.

How Unrealistic is this Romance-Genre Male Character? A Fun Rubric!

It’s no secret that women are often not written very realistically. And it’s easy to tell when the girl main character was created as nothing more than a fantasy trophy.

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? Women characters are not exclusive to this. More prevalent and obvious, YES. But exclusive, no. Haven’t you ever noticed how every dude in a romance story has AN OUTRAGEOUS combination of “desirable” traits? It’s like the same formula over and over again.

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“Hey. I’m Liam. Captain of the football team. Want to hang out on my family’s yacht?”

Don’t believe me? Watch yourself a romance or pick up a sappy book and use this rubric as you go. Each trait earns ten points, the more points you get the more ridiculously written that character is.

 

+10 He is good looking. Obviously, this is a good place to start. Granted there is going to be some kind of attraction between characters when there’s a romance. But I’m specifically talking about a character who would be considered classically and universally good looking. Great hair. Nice smile. Chiseled chin. Tall. Modelesque rippling abs and pectorals. I mean, if the body type is even being mentioned, he might as well have “heaving bosoms”.

+10 He is smart. This character always offers witty dialogue and banter. He’s funny. He does well in school or inexplicably gets accepted to ivy league colleges. Maybe this character has a job that would need to require some serious intelligence. When he talks to the love interest he probably “surprises her” by mentioning authors/books that he likes or other smart and high cultured things.

+10 He is rich OR is in a high position of power somehow. Okay, this character either has a lot of money himself or comes from a rich family. This character could also be a boss or some kind of leader. Royalty is always popular for some reason.

+10 He is charming. This character is well liked. Popular. Has a lot of friends. Or fans. Usually, there are multiple girl characters who are obsessed with him. He is most likely confident in himself. Anyone who happens to not like him is probably jealous of him.    

+10 He is athletic. Lol. For some reason mentioning the muscles isn’t enough. This character shows ‘em off somehow. His adventuring and swordplay are effortless. He plays on the school sports team. He is probably mentioned to be “the best” at some type of physical skill.

+10 He is musically or artistically talented somehow. This is a character that sits down and plays the guitar or sings for the leading lady. Maybe he draws or paints her a picture. Maybe he immaculately decorates this outdoor area for her without any help. He might have a career as an artist or maybe his incredible talent is mentioned in passing and then never contributes anything else to the plot.

+10 He is passionate. This is an easy ten points. This is a character who is borderline berserk-o bats he is so in love. This character easily professes his love. He’s more than a little stalkerish, he follows her around everywhere even if she says no. His moods are all over the freaking place. He is sometimes yelling and punching antagonists. He oozes with jealousy, over-protection, kissing her roughly, having like zero control over his feelings. This character is SO unbridled that if she weren’t into him, she would take out a restraining order pretty quick.

+10 He is self-sacrificing. Similar to the passion trait but definitely deserves ten points on its own. This is a character who is willing to throw away anything and everything in his life for the love interest. He might give up his job, his family, his opportunities, his dreams. Maybe he gives up who he is- like he’s dangerous in some way, but gives it up for her. Sometimes he just straight up dies for her. The sacrificing thing is one huge wet dream for a woman.

+10 He’s a hero. I don’t care what context it is. If this guy rescues her from getting physically hurt in any way, shape or form. That is an automatic ten points for me.

+10 Despite having all of these characteristics he goes for an awkward underdog MC for no real reason. Yes, I’m a cynic. But COME ON. Real talk here. Why is this have-it-all-dude going to go for this rinky-dink no-one-has-ever-wanted-me-like-this chick? Right off the bat, he is in deep with her, but we never really get why. I guess because she’s attractive or something? You tell me.

 

And yes, before you call me out, I tried this rubric out with the romantic interest in my own novel and YES, I am in no way clean of this either. He scored fifty points… which is more than murkily cliché but still better than Noah from The Kissing Booth who scores an eye-rolling NINETY POINTS.

So what is the takeaway? The take away is this: As a writer, don’t be afraid to make your main characters less than perfect. We will still like them. IN FACT, we will like them MORE if we relate to their weaknesses. Is it sexy to envision a man sprawled across a worn couch, binging Netflix with Dorito dust all over his shirt? Not really. Do I want him to find love? HECK YES SO MUCH SO INVESTED. But why though? BECAUSE THAT’S MEEEEEEE! We’re the sticky gross humans looking for happiness in all the wrong places! YOUR AUDIENCE. Reach out! Connect! Don’t just give us one real person to cheer on. Give us two! Make me believe that both of them are better off together, not that one person is already swimming in the sweet life and his/her life can’t be upgraded by anyone.

Just an opinion of a half-cynic. Wink wink.

10 Favorite Songs from My Top 10 Favorite Bands

Last August we took a road trip to see “The Great American Solar Eclipse”. During that long car ride, I came up with a game… list your top ten favorite bands in order (as best you can) and then come up with your favorite song by each of them. That’s how you make a “YOU-playlist”. It was super fun, but way hard! I made Dan do it too.

I decided to share what I came up with… even though it could be potentially embarrassing. I have a weird taste in music, much like my taste in movies so… I don’t know what you’ll think of this list. But it’s who I am, so here we go!

#10 “Althea” by The Grateful Dead

althea

I’ve just recently became a dead head and honestly… I am a believer. They are so freaking enjoyable. Really. If you don’t know The Dead are a bluegrass/folk/rock/psychedelic/reggae/whatever-they-feel-like band. They even have a funk song which I also considered for my #10 spot.

I finally decided on “Althea” because I just cannot resist the punch in that beat. OMG. Even my baby loves this song.

 

#9 “Hypnotize” by System of a Down

System_Of_A_Down-Hypnotize

No rhyme or reason, but I just REALLY love System of a Down. They’re weird but they’re also SO GOOD. Every time they come on the radio I have to stop talking and crank up my stereo to unreasonable levels.

I used to listen to this song on my chunky mp3 player in between every class period my senior year of high school. The nostalgia runs deep with this one, my friend.

 

#8 “Dragons” by Caravan Palace

Caravan_Palace

My brother introduced me to “electro swing” and honestly, I’m all about it now.

I especially had to give a shout out to this song because it inspired a dang good book idea.

 

#7 “Somebody to Love Me” by Mark Ronson and the Buisness INTL

mark_ronson_the_business_intl_feat_boy_george_andrew_wyatt-somebody_to_love_me_s

K. When “Uptown Funk” came out I was SO pumped, because I had been riding the Mark Ronson train for almost a decade before he got the appreciation he deserved.

“Somebody to Love Me” isn’t necessarily that impressive of a song. But I fell in love with it for what it was. I listened to it constantly on repeat the summer of 2011 and so now I associate it with some of those good memories that I have of that time.

 

#6 “Made in Chernobyl” (except like the whole darn album) by Viza

vizamic

Viza is one of the most underrated bands. They’re really fun and unique but no one knows who they are.

Anyways, I love this dang album. For similar reasons to #8… I came up with one of my all time favorite book idea solely listening to this album.

 

#5 “Walcott” by Vampire Weekend

walcott

I adore Vampire Weekend and I don’t care what you say. I’m a poser indie hipster and I’m totally fine with it.

Every time I hear “Walcott” my heart melts. Something about it is so cheerful and I can’t not smile listening to it!

 

#4 “Hey Jude” by The Beatles

Hey_Jude_-_The_Beatles_(1982_reissue)

And you thought Vampire Weekend was bad? Ha! I know there are people who think that The Beatles are overrated and over-hyped. But I don’t care. I just genuinely really enjoy their music.

In fact, it was nearly impossible to pick just one Beatles song. Like, really? How do you even have a favorite!? I was really tempted to do something under the radar like Lennon’s “You Can’t Do That” or something like that. But in the end… “Hey Jude” has gotten me through some really rough times. And the story behind the lyrics, I don’t know… I find this song really meaningful.

 

#3 “Where Have You Been” (the live version) by Reel Big Fish

Reel_Big_Fish_-_Our_Live_Album_Is_Better_than_Your_Live_Album_cover

I had to give a shout out to my passionate and brief love affair with ska music.

I bought the whole live album JUST for the version of this song. It’s super cool. And the break down! #earmassage

 

#2 “Hong Kong” by The Gorillaz

gorillaz___hong_kong_by_resa

I love the Gorillaz so much it’s not even funny.

I used to play this song every day that I would walk home from the bus stop. I felt like it was my own personal soundtrack. When I was serving an LDS mision and we weren’t allowed to listen to pop music… I cried. I actually shed tears over this song. That’s how close I am with this song.

 

#1 “Fearless” by Pink Floyd

PINK_FLOYD_FEARLESS_USA_DJ_7

I love everything about this song. I love the music composition. I love the lyrics. I love this band. I love the meaning. I love the crowd vocals at the end. This is my heart song. This song is me. It HAD to be number one on my “me-playlist”.

 

What’s your list? Write it down it the comment section!

Top 5 Best of the Worst Movies I’ve Ever Seen

My husband and I are fine connoisseurs of terrible movies. It’s basically our go-to date night activity. So we have seen quite a handful of UNBELIEVABLY poor-quality movies, more than enough for me to put together a “Top 5”.

I will say to those who share our hobby, most of the movies on this list are “trash classics”. So if you are looking for an undiscovered cult experience… that may have to wait for another day. However, if you are new to the ironic B-movie movement. Welcome! This is a good list for you:

5. ALL THE SHARK MOVIES…

mega-shark-movies
We have seen A LOT of campy shark movies, the most entertaining being “Sharktopus” down to the studiest “Avalanche sharks”. Not to mention: 2-Headed Shark Attack, Shark Lake, Mega Shark vs. Mecha Shark, Mega Shark vs. Crocosauras, Sharknado 1 through whatever, Sandsharks and even Shark Exorcist.

Quick sum up:
Monster shark is a mindless people-eating-machine that cannot be stopped.

Sample:

For their exact same plot as the original Jaws film, I’m giving this entire genre an award for Dumbest Adapted/Stolen Screenplay.

4. The Room

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This is considered “The Citizen Kane” of bad movies, and honestly I could not agree more. It has so many big dramatic plot twists that for some reason are only mentioned once and are never talked about ever again (like the neighbor kid’s drug problem and a mom who has breast cancer). Some of the weirdest lines I’ve ever heard come from this movie, like “Leave your stupid comments in your pocket”. Also he has framed pictures of spoons all over his house…

Quick Sum Up:
Everyone loves Tommy except for his backstabbing evil fiancée Lisa. After Lisa begins to have an affair with his best friend things get VERY dramatic.

Sample:

For this movie, I’m giving Tommy Wiseau the Best Unintentionally Comedic Actor Award and Most Bat-Shiz Crazy Director Award.

3. Birdemic: Shock and Terror

birdemic

No other movie will make you say, “What was that?” like this movie will. They have several casual picnics DURING the killer bird rampage. And the “Birdemic” doesn’t even start until like 45 minutes into the movie. This one is entertaining but painful. If you chose to watch this one be prepared to see every moment of the main characters day to day routine… like gassing up their cars after work and a three minute business meeting scene of just straight up clapping.

Quick Sum Up:
Natalie and Rod are falling in love and having fun… until the town is terrorized by killer eagles that can spit acid. Apparently the birds started killing everyone due to climate change? Just give peace a chance.

Sample:

Birdemic sweeps my aCRAPemy awards with Stupidest Visual Effects, Crappiest Film Editing and Most Questionable Sound Editing. Birdemic also earns a Best Worst Original Song Award for its hit “Hanging Out With My Family” and I’m unapologetically giving the woman who played Natalie’s mom Best Actress in a Supporting Role.

2. Troll 2

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We LOVE this movie. Anytime we invite someone over to our house we force them to watch this movie. It’s truly a vision. You just have to see it to believe. And if you’re wondering whether you have to see the first Troll beforehand… don’t worry, it’s not a sequel to anything and there aren’t even “Trolls” in it.

Quick Sum Up:
Joshua and his family go on vacation to Nilbog, only to discover that it’s the Goblin capital of the world! Only Josh’s dead grandpa can help to destroy these vegetarian goblins that turn people into plants before eating them.

Sample:

Deborah Reed’s portrayal of “The Goblin Queen” earns her a Best Over-the-top Performance Award, while the film itself receives Craziest Art Direction, Most Hilarious Costume Design and Possibly a Foreign Language Film…

And the award for Overall WORST picture goes to…

1. Fateful Findings

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I didn’t know it was possible to mess up every single component of a movie, but Fateful Findings enlightens me on just how bad film-making can be. I understand that a lot of movies on this list were American movies made by foreign directors and that there were some language barrier issues. But this guy… it’s like an alien director tried to make an Earth movie.

Quick sum up: 
Oh man… okay.

Soooo this guy hacks into secret government files with the use of his teleportation crystal powers… I think? He goes to the hospital and falls in love with the neurosurgeon / childhood girlfriend who helps to heal him through magic crystal power… maybe? His wife becomes addicted to his painkillers while his drunk neighbor is murdered for some reason? He also has two therapists, one who’s like… a ghost? A bunch of laptops and salad falls to the ground but doesn’t stop Neil Breen from exposing the president of “The Bank”.

Sample:

Along with Worst Picture, I’m also giving this film an award for Weirdest Cinematography and Most Confusing Original Screenplay.

These movies skipped out on a quality check, but you don’t have to. Wisdom Web Services is a great way to get the most out of your website and snag those viewers! You can get a free analysis of your site or schedule to meet with a web development consultant.

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