Kids Say the Darndest Things (Feb ’24)

CASEY: (drawing a picture of a lobster) I’m almost done, I just have to add his crab snappers.

JACK: I thought those were called snipper claws.


Us driving with the car windows open.

JACK: Can you turn off the wind?


ME: Casey, do you want a yogurt?

CASEY: That’s not a yogurt! A yogurt is when we stretch together on our mats!


JACK: Can we see how tall I am? I want to see if I leveled up.


CASEY: How do you fit inside the house if you’re 33 years old and the house is 15? You should be taller than the house!


JACK: Are boys stronger than girls?

ME: No, it depends on the­— JACK: WANNA ARM WRESTLE AND FIND OUT?


Casey didn’t know the rest of the words to the “eenie meanie miney mo” rhyme, so he sang his own version instead:

CASEY: Eenie meanie mini mo. Let’s go to a barbeque. Eenie meanie mini YOU.


CASEY: Do you want to play house?

JACK: Okay! I’ll be the house. Casey, you could be a box of stuff and clean me.


CASEY: (after telling me a random story about his day) If you liked this story, subscribe. It’s easy and it’s fun.


Jack had texted his uncle Jeremy a question but didn’t get a response. Hours later Jer texted back.

JEREMY: Sorry about that bud! I passed out.

Jack was really, really quiet for a good twenty minutes after. When Daniel finally probed him what was wrong he said.

JACK: I’m just really sad that Uncle Jeremy passed away.


Casey has evolved from calling his freckles “peckles” to just straight up calling them “pickles”. I’m never ever correcting him.  


DAN: Make sure you share with Andie too.

JACK: Can Jesus do whatever he wants?

DAN: Yes but he always thinks of others first.

JACK: How do you know that? Google?


CASEY: Andie’s so soft. She’s like a fluffed! A fluffed animal.


JACK: You are the best parents I ever had!

Kids Say the Darndest Things (Dec 2023)

I feel bad about laughing at this one. Because in the moment he really felt this strongly about it. But one time I couldn’t play with Jack because I was feeding Andie and he started bawling and yelled this.

JACK: I am SO alone. I’m even more alone than Home Alone!


CASEY: Whenever I take a bath, my hands get all prinkly.


JACK: What planet do we live on?

ME: Earth, dude.

JACK: Oh. … I wonder which planet we’ll live on next.


ME: Can you count from one to ten?

CASEY: Of course, that’s easy. One. Two. Ten.


On an airplane.

JACK: What are they talking about?

ME: Oh, well, the stewardess just talks about what to do in case there’s an emergency.

JACK: Oh, okay, I get it. *looks around* So where is the parachute.

ME: …

JACK: Just in case.


ME: *laying with Casey to help him fall asleep* Okay, no more talking. Bed time.

CASEY: Okay, Mom.

ME: …

CASEY …

ME: …

CASEY: *whispers* Mom? Do sharks cry?


Dan and Jack sharing a bowl of chips.

JACK: Hey! You ate it all gone!

DAN: You ate half of it!

JACK: Well… teamwork makes the dreamwork.


Jack blows his nose.

CASEY: I need a tissue too. *gets one from the box and blows his nose*

JACK: Casey, you can use my tissue.

CASEY: I already have one!

JACK: Oh okay… Hey, I know! Let’s trade!

CASEY: Okay!


JACK: Hey Dad? What is it that you do when you’re at work?

DAN: Oh. Well, I make sure people get the right medicine. And see if there are any mistakes with what they’re taking. Call doctors stuff like that.

JACK: That doesn’t sound so hard. I could do that.

DAN: Gee thanks.

JACK: Because I’m Super Speedy Sonic!


JACK: Hey Mom, I have a question.

ME: Oh okay, what is it?

JACK: I love you so much. You are my very favorite person ever. Even more favorite than grandma.

Kids Say the Darndest Things (September 2023)

JACK: … *loses his train of thought and sighs* My brain was thinking without me again.


Casey was helping me scrub the wall and was having a hard time with a little stain.

CASEY: Ugh!! Why won’t you come off!? … … *to himself* Oh, it doesn’t have feet. That’s why it doesn’t come off.


We were trying to get Jack to try ‘fry sauce’ (a Utah delicacy lol).

JACK: No thanks. That looks like smooshed skin.


CASEY: *pointing to the merry-go-round* Can we go get dizzy please!? I want to go on the dizzy machine!


DAN: Jack we’re going to do something really fun tonight!

JACK: Really?? What!?

DAN: *joking* We’re going to do our taxes.

JACK: … That’s not fun. I didn’t even smile at that. I made a bored face.


CASEY: Mom, can you do me a flavor?


JACK: *pointing to Dan’s Mountain Dew* Can I have some of that?

DAN: Not right now Buddy.

JACK: Pleeeeease! It tastes like power!


Whenever we play Marco Polo, Casey always yells “Bingo!”. No matter how many times he hears it the right way.


JACK: *talking to himself* C’mon Bruh. Just get out and shoo, bru


Casey absolutely INSISTED that he had a very important message to tell his Dad. He made me help him write a note and then we drove to Dan’s work and left it on his car’s windshield. This was the super important message:

“Dad. Cowboy hat. Don’t ride a horse without one.”