I was in the Arts Building at the University of Utah. I had just come out of a meeting with my supervisor and decided to hit the restroom before class… when I decided to do something very stupid. Typical, typical Val.

There are two types of people in this world: people who play on their Smart Phones while doing their biz on the can and LIARS.

So I’m on the toilet, probably taking a quiz to find out which salad best suits my astrological needs. My best friend Kayla sends me a Snap Chat asking me what I was up to.

Oh ho ho.

In case you haven’t read about it already, I am essentially a 10 year old. My sense of humor is SO stupid that the trailer of my life would probably have multiple fart sounds and record scratches.

So I’m all, “Guess I gotta show her what I’m up to then”. And I take a picture of myself sitting on the toilet.

Wow. Jeez. Val. Yuck. Yeah. That’s pretty embarrassing. NO! THAT’S NOT EVEN THE EMBARRASSING PART.

The embarrassing part was that I forgot that my phone was set to atomic blast sound level. The fake shutter click just like BOOMED out through the public restroom. There were at least two other girls in there who now knew that I was in there… taking pictures of … whatever.

I literally had to sit on the toilet for another fifteen minutes, just to wait for them to leave so I didn’t have to look them in the eye.

You think that would deter me from toilet selfies, but not at all.

Here’s one from when I had actually put make up on that day, but never got a chance to leave the house. You wanna judge me, that’s cool, but make-up is expensive! Couldn’t let it go to waste.

… Get it? Couldn’t let it go to waste. *fart sound* *record scratches* *canned laughter*