Kids Say the Darndest (Oct 2021)

November 11, 2021November 11, 2021 valmanwillLeave a comment

Jack kept requesting this video that he called “Stinky Nose”. And we could not figure out for the life of us what “Stinky Nose” was. We were typing it full out into the YouTube search and everything and couldn’t find it. Then finally we discovered that it was a video where they put “sticky notes” all over someone’s house and apparently Jack thinks they’re called “stinky nose”.

Right after installing our Google assistant:
CASEY: Hey Google, can I have a cookie?

ME: Tomorrow you’re going to be three!
CASEY: No, I’m not going to be three. I’m going to be fourteen.
JACK: Then you would be a grown-up

ME: How old are you?
CASEY: THREE!
ME: That’s right! *goes to give a high five*
CASEY: No, this many. *puts two of my fingers down*

JACK: (out of nowhere) We don’t flush cats down the toilet right?
ME: … what?
JACK: Because then people would be sad their pet was gone.

GRANDMA: It’s available for pick up
CASEY: No not “pick up”, it’s called a “hiccup”, grandma.

*Opens a dumdum sucker.*
JACK: Ooh that looks like Saturn!

Found out this month that both of my kids think a mummy is called a “mommy”.

DAN: (teasing) Are you a bus?
CASEY: No, I’m a Casey
DAN: *grabs his foot* Is this your tire?
CASEY: …
*a full minute later*
CASEY: (to himself) I’m a bus.

JACK: I like you
ME: I like you too!
JACK: Yeah we both like us!

Detective Big Nose – The Mummy

October 28, 2021October 12, 2021 valmanwillLeave a comment

And now another tantalizing mystery from the detective series I wrote in 1997…

“A mummy? (This one’s harder)” “Clue: the jewel is red.” “How and who stole the jewel? Let’s find out!”

“Oh no!” cries Big Nose. “The mummy!”
The mummy runs away.
“It’s a picture of Carter. And he has something red,” Maggie said.
“Hmm,” says Big Nose. “I think it’s the jewel,” said Big Nose, pointing to it.

“Meanwhile at Carters…
‘Carter, what’s this?’ Big Nose asked.
‘My bouncy ball,’ Carter says. ‘But if I’m the mummy how come I saw the mummy?’
‘Tell the story,’ Big Nose says pulling out a chair.
‘Well, it was 5:00 when I saw the mummy with the jewel.’
Big Nose thought. ‘Which window?’
‘Just out this west window.’
A huge smile danced across Big Nose’s face. ‘5:00 pm?’
Carter thought. ‘Yes.’
Big Nose slapped some handcuffs across Carter’s wrists.
How did Big Nose know it was Carter?

‘Here’s how: Do you look out a window with the sun shining into it? If Carter looked out a west window, if it was 5:00 PM it would be shining in his eyes, he would have seen nothing.

THE END lol

Resolutions Update: Fall Quarter

October 21, 2021October 12, 2021 valmanwillLeave a comment

4^th Quarter: Resolutions Update (October)

Final inning…

MAKE A LIST OF THINGS TO PUT TOGETHER IN THE NEW HOUSE; DO SOME OF THE THINGS

I’m okay with how this is going. I’m not going to be able to do the entire list but we’ve done a HUGE chunk of it. I’m pleased with our progress. I’ll likely have to re-look at the list next year and tweak things since different needs come up. But so far this is going well.

MAKE A HABIT OF STRETCHING EVERY DAY, SLOWLY BUILD UP A YOGA ROUTINE

Okay. So every day has been tough for me. BUT… one of my best friends and I have decided to do an online yoga class together once a week and that has really helped me out. AT LEAST it’s regular. You know what I mean? AT LEAST it’s something!

CLEAN WHILE THE BOYS ARE IN THE BATH

Yeah, so Jack going to school changed this dynamic dramatically. I now have the ability to create a cleaning schedule like I’ve always wanted. Originally, I had a different cleaning task every day, but then I noticed that I would get burnt out on Thursday and Friday and have a harder time finishing those tasks. SO instead of forcing myself to go through with it, I decided to work with it. And I rescheduled all my cleaning tasks to be done by Wednesday. And that helped a LOT! When I was able to relax my expectation and align my goals with my psyche that REALLY yielded a lot of success.

Which speaking of…

WRITING WRITING EVERYWHERE

I’ve mentioned before that I have this tendency to steam roller into a project and then get burnt out at thirty thousand words. (To paint a picture, I now have FIVE separate novels idling at 30K. Two paranormal thrillers and three contemporary rom coms) SO I sat down and was like… okay, I have this specific problem… I need to work with myself here…

And I plotted a new story. A novella. That would cap at 30k.

The logic here was Hey, man. If writing 30K of a book is what I felt like I could consistently handle. Then I should just make THAT the goal.

And I wrote that novella in less than three weeks.

I GOT A FIRST DRAFT DONE BY FALL. YESSSSSSS. So after that success, I’ve been thinking about things a lot. A lot lot. And I have some exciting news to tell you very soon! Stay tuuuuuned