CHAPTER TEN

The midday sunlight filtered through the stained glass flowers of my new bedroom window. I was dying to explore the rest of the house. Gather each and every clue to John’s life that would let me into his psyche. Aunt Mimi coughed politely from downstairs. If she caught me snooping through John’s bedroom that would be the end of my stay at Mendips.

I caught a glimpse of myself in the floor-length mirror. Woof. My skirt was limp and muddy, my bangs limply framed the deep dark circles under my eyes. No wonder Mimi had turned me away at first. I straightened my posture, picked lint off my sweater, and swept some life back into my hair.

For months I had been imagining exactly how I was going to meet John. It was going to be perfect. I would wait at the top of the stairs and listen to Mimi and John in the living room talking about their day. And then as soon as Mimi would tell him about the new lodger, I would ascend the staircase like some kind of sex angel. My blonde hair cascading down my red and black lace gown and my fingertips barely grazing the bannister. I would stop in the entranceway of the living room and I would say something confident and unforgettable like, ‘And here I am. You must be the nephew.’

“Hello,” I practiced my best low and sultry voice. “You must be the nephew.”

Being sexy was harder to grasp than I thought. I rolled my shoulders back and tossed a little hair to the side.

“Hello.” I crossed my legs in slow motion, showing off my calves as I swooped them over. “You must be the nephew.”

Hmm. That seemed good. But I didn’t know. I wasn’t attracted to myself or anything so how would I know what was right?

Suddenly, my reflection in the mirror shook as the front door slammed shut. I rushed to my window and ripped open the curtains. There was Aunt Mimi opening the front gate, her hair tucked underneath a pillbox hat, a jacket draped around her shoulders.

Aha! Finally! I had the big old empty house to myself to explore and poke around. John would still be at the college of art until four. I had a few hours to explore before getting ready for my big banister cute meet. Everything had fallen into place.

I tore out of my room, one skip and I was at John’s bedroom. The door was shut. My heart clenched at the sight of it. He was going to be this close to me. In only a few hours. I knocked at the door. I don’t know why. There was no reply.

I twisted the nob and opened the door. The room was empty.

A sweater tossed unto the bed, a crumpled shirt on the floor. There was a distinctive smell. The same weird smell that had filled the double-decker bus on the way into Woolton. Lennon’s room was overpowered by it, whatever it was.

I stepped inside. As soon as my foot hit the floorboard in the doorway it creaked loudly. I jumped and twisted to check behind myself. No one was there.

John’s room was teeny tiny. One bed and one small little wardrobe with clothes bursting and dripping out of it. The bay window took up an entire wall of the room. In 2109 you would not even see an American closet this small. I mean, how did he do anything in here besides stand?

Creased papers and open books littered the carpet. It was as if he would start reading one, then instead of placing a bookmark in it, he would set it randomly on the floor face open, completely forget about it and then start reading another.

I stepped gingerly around the mess like navigating a minefield. Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll was tucked halfway under his bed. Its pages were the most worn and fluffy of all the books.

Above his bed, he had hung up a few drawings and I couldn’t help but smirk. Most artists want to display their prettiest work. But this John guy had made an entire collage of grotesque and weird monsters all hastily scribbled like a small child. Dogs with extra legs and a crooked skeleton. One of the drawings he had written on, “A dream you dream alone is only a dream.”

“What a weirdo.” I laughed aloud.

On the far corner of his bed was the guitar. The guitar. The Gallotone Champion acoustic. Again, I looked around as if someone were watching me. I guess I was feeling the freaky stare of Thorne on the other side of the mystery live stream. And he certainly wouldn’t approve, but I had to touch that guitar. Every ounce of my musical history soul was screaming. I had to touch it.

I plucked it from its spot and played the first bar of “Please, Please Me”. The song that would have been written in that very room. I exhaled through a little ‘O’ in my mouth. Too much. I was defiling it with my stupid pig-song non-talent. I set the guitar back, careful to leave it just as I found it.

I stared at it, imagining it slung around John’s shoulders.

“Hello,” I said with the sultry tone. “You must be the nephew.”

After poking around John’s room, I stumbled my way downstairs and into the kitchen.

“Ugh, what is that smell?” I said to myself as I entered the kitchen. On the stove was a big silver pot full of boiled fish heads and fish parts. The entire bottom floor smelled like boiled fish guts and cat urine. This was even worse than John’s room. I pulled my sweater sleeve over my nose and tried to ignore the fishy carnage that was soaking in the pot.

On the far wall was a bright yellow cupboard. The perfect thing to pilfer through. I skipped over and flung open the doors to find all sorts of delightful vintage Liverpool essentials. I shuffled through the containers and cans examining their labels and unique artwork.

Suddenly I gasped and drew my fingers back rapidly. I had almost touched a bottle of cleaner. I knew this old cleaner had PCMX in it. So crazy. I mean, they used to sterilize their surgical instruments with this stuff until the mid-half of the 21st century. Then with all the body-mods and regulators we developed an allergy or intolerance to the stuff, making us pass out quicker than any other anesthesia. That was a close one. One whiff of that stuff, and I would’ve been unconscious until John got home.

I returned a can of beans onto the high shelf, my fingertips barely slid it into place when suddenly footsteps echoed down the drive. Mimi home already? She hadn’t been gone more than twenty minutes. I leaned to look out the kitchen window, but I didn’t see Mimi. Instead I saw a boy walking down the driveway wearing a big brown coat and carrying a paper grocery bag on his shoulder. He was absent-mindedly singing to himself, with a very familiar voice.

I panicked. I wasn’t wearing my slinky red dress or lipstick even. I had been walking since before sunrise and I looked horrible. HORRIBLE. One big muddy, stinky, swampy mess. Nothing at all like how I had imagined or practiced or planned.

All logic and reason left my brain. I gasped, climbed into the cupboard, and shut myself inside.

  The back door of the kitchen squeaked open.

“Yakety Yak!” he belted out and then added a facetiously low, “Don’t talk back.”

The paper bag cracked as it hit the counter, followed by loud and jovial whistling.

What have I done? What have I done? What have I done? Why didn’t I sneak out of the kitchen when I heard him coming? Why did I ever leave my room? Why did I just climb into a freaking cupboard?

I pressed my fingertips on the opening of the cupboard ever so slightly. Trying not to make any slight noise at all, I opened the door a slim crack, wide enough for me to peek through.

The boy stood with his back toward me unloading groceries from the rustling paper sack. His thick wavy hair greased flat on either side, looking somewhat of a mix between a cocker spaniel and a duck’s backside. His tan coat was oversized and overworn.

My heart was pounding so hard I pressed my palm into my chest to get it to stop. Shut up! Shut up! He might hear you!

An orange cat jumped on the counter next to him, pawing at the bag.

“Hey, go on with you! This isn’t for you,” he said, nudging the cat away with his wrist. 

The sound of his voice made me duck down a little. That same old Liverpool accent. All the documentaries and interviews that I had seen while recovering from my body armor mod. And here was that billion-dollar voice standing some odd feet away from me. The low nasally tone and everything, only without the static of an old recorder and the age and exhaustion from fame.

“Alright, alright. You win this time. But we mustn’t let Mimi find out, mustn’t we?”

John leaned on the counter with a bit of chicken in his fingers. The cat tiptoed to his hand, sniffing gingerly, then held his thumb with her paws as she dined. He rubbed behind her ear, his long nose almost touching hers.

Four o’clock, my ass, Thorne. It wasn’t even lunchtime.

I gingerly shut the door. There wasn’t much I could do but hold my breath and wish him away. Please leave. Please leave. How long would I be trapped in here? Maybe I could reach that bottle of PCMX and put myself out of my own misery.

Suddenly, his heavy footsteps trotted across the kitchen floor. I watched in horror as the cupboard door swung open. Game over. I was face to face with a young John Lennon, the orange cat in one arm and a box of Rice Krispies tucked under the other.

He saw me and startled so bad that he jumped at least a foot in the air. The cat screeched and clawed up his chest, leaping from his grasp by roundhouse kicking him right in the face. The cupboard door swung shut on its hinges.

I felt it. Exactly what Greggs had said, like two parts of my chest had become a polarized magnet pulling apart deep inside. The timeline had split. I stared at the yellow door, slowly realizing what had just happened. I cupped my nose with both hands. Well, that was it. We had met.

The cupboard door squeaked as Lennon cautiously pried it open. He stared at me, his eyebrows raised in total shock. His thick eyelashes blinked in confusion.

“Oh. Hello!” I said as cheerfully as ever.

What?” He let out a breathy laugh. “You almost scared me to death! Not all of us have nine lives you know.”

“I’m so sorry.” I tucked my hair behind my ear. I could have barfed right there in that cupboard.

“Who are you? And what on Earth are you doing in there?” he asked with an amused twisted grin on his face.

“I’m just— I’m a lodger.” I said, my throat constricting on my words.

“Mimi’s renting out the cupboards now? Not very accommodating of her,” he said, putting the Rice Krispy box on the shelf above my head.

“Well, yeah, you know.” I was in awe. Stupid awe. I didn’t even know what I was saying. He wasn’t supposed to be home until four! I was seriously under-prepared for this run-in. Snap out of it, Emmeline! You have a mission! Seduce him, for Galactica sakes!

“Y-you must be my nephew,” I blundered.

He made this open-mouth smile, like a silent laugh. “It’s possible. I have aunts all over the place. Woolton, Edinburg, Birkenhead. We’re quite infested with aunts at the moment.”

My nose wrinkled. I had bungled the mission already. And Thorne was watching every single miserable second from a hotel room down the road. I grabbed the shelf and pulled myself out of the cupboard. As soon as I stood to meet John’s eye, his expression softened. I smoothed my blonde hair over my shoulder.

“Oh,” he said quietly. He quickly broke eye contact and turned away, retreating to the paper sack on the counter.

“What’s ‘oh’?” I asked.

“It’s a letter in the alphabet between ‘N’ and ‘P’,” he said without missing a beat. “Don’t they teach the alphabet in American schools?”

I stammered, trying to come up with a reply.

“That is an American accent, isn’t it?” he asked, emptying the last items from the bag. “Or do you have a tongue injury or something?”

I had read before that he was quick-witted, well no kidding, this guy was dragging me behind in the dust.  “I’m from California,” I finally squeaked out.

“Ah. Hollywood. I’ve always wanted a film star for an auntie.” He gave me a nod over his shoulder. “What are you doing on this side of the ocean?”

“I have a summer apprenticeship,” I said. “They sent me to Liverpool.”

“That’s some miserable luck.” John faced me and leaned against the counter.

I was still stumbling and bumbling through the conversation. My vein-chilling fear of the botched first impression was shifting into irritancy and I heard myself blurt out, “Why aren’t you at school? You should be at school.”

“Aha, so Mimi has spies watching me from the cupboards! Naughty, naughty,” he said, shaking a finger at me.

“I’m not a spy,” I said, pulling my shoulders to my ears. “I just figured you were probably a student because… of your age.”

“I am a student.” He lifted off the counter. “When I feel like it.”

“Right.”

“I never feel like it,” he said as he passed by me toward the door.

“That’s not good.”

He shrugged a shoulder. “Do what you want and make no apologies is what I always say.”

“Yeah, sounds like you,” I said.

“Now how do you know what I sound like if you’re not a spy?” John squinted at me with a playful suspicion. Then he gave me a tight closed-lip smile and picked up the cat. “Nice meeting you Auntie Hollywood.”

He curtsied with a coy, little bounce, then turned on his heels and exited into the day room.  

CHAPTER EIGHT

This was the biggest day of my entire life. And not to mention my future, which would include the past as well so go figure. I was calm. A numb calm. But even though my heart was beating at a normal pace, my arms couldn’t get with the program. They were out of control with shaking and I had to keep them tucked away in the pockets of my jacket, so my mom wouldn’t see them.

She was crying. Of course. And Que was laughing at me. Probably. I’m already an awkward person when it comes to the daily goodbye, now it was a big deal goodbye and I had no idea how to act. Everything I did, I felt like I was doing it wrong and that it wasn’t appropriate for the situation. Should I cry too? No, that’s too serious. Should I joke with Que? No, that’s not serious enough.

I gave them each a hug. And when Que wrapped me in and held me hard, that got to me. And then I teared up not by choice.

 “See you in a hundred days,” I said, wiping away at my bottom eyelashes. “Or I guess I don’t know when.”

 “Eh, it’ll be instantaneous for us,” Que said, shrugging like it was no big deal.

My mother gave me another embrace. “I tried to pack thermal regulated underwear in your bag, but the security found it and confiscated it.”

“Mom, it’s fine,” I mumbled and pulled away.

Dr. Greggs came up and gave me a quick hug. I was even more surprised about this than Que. But I was touched that he cared about me enough to do it.

“I want to let you in on something special,” he said holding me by my shoulders. “All time travelers do this, so it’s only tradition that I pass this along to you. When you go into the incoming portal, make sure you’re looking at the outcoming portal. You will be able to see yourself returning from the past.”

“Is that true?” I asked, wrinkling my nose.

“Do it and find out,” he said happily. That was one of the things I loved best about Dr. Greggs is that he loved the little nuances about time travel and geeked out just as much as I did.

I hugged my mother another time. Honestly, if the professionals hadn’t come to take me away, we would probably still be hugging. The little worrywart of a woman. I laughed to myself about it, until they brought me to the observing room, and I saw the technology for the first time.

There were two giant steel columns where we would go in the portal. And two giant steel columns where we would hopefully come out. Each column was at least three-stories high and had dark burn marks on the sides that faced each other. 

I had seen a lot of videos and run a few practice trials with Dr. Greggs. But seeing the soon-to-be portals in person for the first time was the most intimidating moment of my life. No joke. I mean, I thought presenting to the council was bad. Now, that seemed like a Sunday stroll through the park.

The personnel strapped a parachute to my back. Dr. Thorne was getting his strapped on, his face was looking extra tight and grouchy that fine beautiful morning.

“Alright,” Dr. Greggs said, helping the others strap me in. “Now, it’s no different than how we’ve practiced in the VR. They’ll turn on the boomerang portal and you’ll get a running start right to the input channel. Then as soon as you’re through the other side, you’ll be falling. You’ll have to deploy your parachute. The portal will dump you right over a cliffside in 1958 Liverpool.”

 Dr. Greggs grinned wildly and patted me on the shoulder. I drew in a deep breath. Talk about a dramatic entrance. They could have put the portal any discreet old place. I don’t know why hanging it a hundred feet in the air over the sea was going to help anything. I guess to keep innocent pedestrians from accidentally getting sucked into the future.

As soon as they had my parachute on, I examined the straps. “Wait, this looks authentic.”

“Yeah,” Dr. Thorne said with no emotion.

“Well, is it?” I asked my voice squeaking.

“Yeah,” he repeated

“Are you kidding? I’m not using a 170-year-old parachute!”

He looked at me with no sympathy at all. “You got the body armor, didn’t you?”

As I blinked my eyes got big. Okay, but body armor wasn’t going to keep me from drowning. Or getting tangled in some tree for the next hundred days.

They obviously weren’t going to give me a choice, so I retightened the straps and hoped for the best as I entered the sterile room. My heart was pounding in my throat as if I were about to puke it up, still beating, onto the clean floor. Was I dumb to do this? Was this a mistake? I mean, probably.

Somewhere in the anxiety, I rolled through the five hundred things that were about to go wrong with this mission. Number One: I could never come back. I mean, that one traveler that went to the middle ages didn’t. Maybe the portal malfunctioned, and we didn’t know it. Oh my Galactica, number Two: I get lost in time and space because of a portal malfunction.

 Um, Number Three: Lennon could find me repulsive and I have to shoot him. Number Four: Lennon could be fine with me, even like me a little bit and I still have to shoot him. Number fifteen: I contract some horrible old timey disease. Number forty-seven: Non-metastasized water. Number Eight Hundred and Eleven: Viruses.

Up at the window of the observation room, my mom, still crying watched me step toward the giant metal tongs where the portal would open. I tried to push those hundreds and hundreds of anxieties away, but they were choking me and dragging me back out of the room. I felt like a young child about to ride their first real rollercoaster and find themselves at the front of the line crying and not wanting to get in.

 “Markers at their place. Fifty-three degrees. Twenty minutes. Twelve-point seven seconds North. Three degrees. Eight minutes. Twenty-six point one degrees West. At zero four, zero, zero. Tuesday, May 20th, 1958.” A female robotic voice announced.

I want to get off! Let me off!

“Opening portal in t minus ten minutes.”

Okay but seriously.

“Ten… Nine…”

 No!

I took a couple of steps backwards as the countdown continued. You could hear the poles charging on either side. The wall behind them started to distort. The tiles were bending slightly, as if it were a wall of water.

 “Four… Three… Two…”

I held my breath.

“One.”

The air made a cracking sound. Which really freaked me out worse than before. I don’t know why I had always pictured a loud resonating “bwomp” or a high-pitched whir or something. But that’s not what a portal ripping into reality sounds like. It honest to Galatica sounded like an old metal ship breaking apart. A screetchy clinky kind of sound. Well, that’s the best I can describe it, I guess. Because it was completely otherworldly and jarring. The unpredictability was almost a confirmation that something was about to go horribly wrong.

The portal ripped open the air right in front of me. An immediate heat wave blew through Thorne and I, blowing my hair over my shoulder. A blinding light filled the room. It was like staring into a hole filled with molten lava.

“Opening successful. Portal stabilizing,” the female voice reported. “Prepare to enter. Stabilized in T minus 27 seconds.”

On the other side, in between those poles, a second portal began growing. There was the boomerang. The place that we would return from. The safe haven.

I could actually hear my breathing; it was so fast and heaving. I stared into this searing pit. I had honestly thought I would be able to see Liverpool through the other side. Or something. But no, there was nothing. No comfort of making it through. No promise of another side. Nothing. And I was supposed to run and jump straight into it.

I could see Thorne eyeing the portal. Beads of sweat balled on his nose. Even he was nervous. Oh, Galactica. We were going to die.

 “Portal stabilized in ten… nine…”

I grit my teeth. If something were truly wrong, Thorne would tell them to shut the program down. I was with an experienced time traveler. The first time, I might add, that I was actually grateful that they had done that for me.

I closed my eyes and tried to prepare myself. My calves twitched and tensed ready for the run.

“Five… Four…”

Run. That’s all. Run and jump. As soon as you get there, you’ll see yourself come through the other side. You’ll know it’s all going to be okay.

“Two… One.” The return portal had stopped growing.

“Go!” Thorne grunted and tore off toward the light.

I didn’t think anymore. I couldn’t. I zipped off right by Thorne’s side. My feet slapped against the floor, I panted and shoved my way through the intense heat. My eyes jumping back and forth from the entrance to the exit portal.

C’mon Emmeline. I begged the return portal. I ran harder and faster. Pushing and pushing myself and gaining speed. C’mon Emmeline. Where are you? Come back for me! Come back home!

I got to the prongs and leapt with all my heart, Thorne right by my side. As I leapt, I kept my eye on that return portal. I kept my eye watching for myself to come back through. To return safely.

As soon as my foot touched the light, I was overcome with the strangest feeling. Everything was moving in slow motion, including me. Time had slowed by 80%, and my body was still in mid jump. Thorne too was slow motion mid jump, but I couldn’t turn my head to look at him. I couldn’t move as fast as my brain was going. My consciousness was still working the same speed as it always had but my body wasn’t.

            My head was still facing the exit portal. And that’s when I saw it. Two headlights with a big thick metal grill in between. I could hear my own slow-motion exhale as a grey vintage truck began to roll out of the return portal, the big front wheels rotating in the same slow motion. The bottom of the windshield had just come into view and suddenly everything blinked to black.

I was falling. Fast. To a sand bank not too far away. I let out a low-pitched yelp and felt around for my rip cord. As soon as I had a hold of that old metal ring, I yanked it as hard as I could. The parachute deployed as rough as I had yanked, pulling me around like a loose-leaf paper

In only a few seconds I had slammed into the sand bank and my chute dragged me skidding right into the river. The water was icy cold on my shins and I couldn’t help my bellowing grunt through clenched teeth. My fists rolled tight into balls and I brought them up by my chest.

The water tinkled and lapped innocently around my legs. A chill wind stung my cheeks. I almost broke my neck looking into the dark sky, trying to find the portal we had just come through. But there was nothing but clouds, and a tall clay cliff with an empty road at the top.

Incredible. A portal to another world hung high in the air, invisible and undiscoverable.

Thorne knelt on the beach, all business, packing his parachute away into his backpack. I tried to make my way over to him, but my parachute, had sunk into the muddy river and was threatening to pull me back down. I had to sashay to get to him. The weight was too much, and I fell onto my knees. The prickling ice river soaking my stupid skirt up to my thighs. I growled and slapped the water, which didn’t make me feel any better. It only splashed more freezing water onto my face.

Thorne acted like he couldn’t care less about whether or not I made it through safely. He was still setting into action, getting things ready for whatever. I marched my way onto the beach and ripped off my parachute.

“Don’t leave that here,” he said like a scolding parent. “That’s a military parachute. Someone could find that and accidentally change history.”

I rolled my eyes and reeled in my soaking wet parachute. Water spilled out of it by the bucketful and washed all over the sand of the beach. I did not pack my parachute into my suitcase with all my dresses, no, thank you. My skirt was already soaked so I held it awkwardly by my side as the air stabbed into my freezing legs.

“Thorne,” I said coming into full process of everything that had just happened. “Something’s wrong.”

Thorne had his parachute packed neatly into his briefcase and snapped it shut. “Buses don’t run at four in the morning, so we’ll have to travel on foot until the sun comes up.”

I stared at Thorne incredulously.

“Didn’t you hear me? Something’s wrong,” I said. “When we went through the portal, I didn’t see us coming back through. I saw… a truck or something.”

Thorne stood but still didn’t respond to the crisis at hand.

“Do you think that could happen?” I asked. “Do you think that a car could accidentally fall through the portal? I know there’s a road right there.”

Thorne gave this itty-bitty glance at the cliffside and picked up his briefcase. “We need to focus on the mission at hand. We shouldn’t worry about the return.”

 He trekked off across the beach and I had to run to catch up. How could he not care? How could he not worry about being potentially stuck in 1958 forever? How could he not be worried about this mysterious truck that was blasting through the return portal? I was sick out of my mind. Practically beside myself.

I ran alongside Thorne. “How would we get back? If we jumped through the portal are we going to get run over? What would even happen jumping through with a truck in there already?”

“You don’t know what you saw,” he said. “A lot of travelers claim to see things through the return portal. You’re watching time bend it could be anything. Seeing yourself is a myth.”

My heart was still on the verge of popping. But he was experienced and unphased. And seeing a truck in the portal was so weird that it must be true what he was saying. Time must have bent funny.

I followed Thorne off the beach shaking of my unsettled feeling.

CHAPTER SEVEN

I had the surgery. It was extensive, they made little cuts all over my body and put a flexible unbreakable material under my skin. There was this old 2D movie I saw once. What was it called? The Terminator? Okay, yeah, like that more or less. And I guess that’s what they wanted all along.

The recovery wasn’t great. I mean, it was nothing abnormal or horrific or anything. Mostly it consisted of me not wanting to move a single pinky finger because every inch of me ached so much. And the doctors told me not to move an inch because the armor plates had to “settle”. Whatever that meant.

My mom brought meals in and out of my room. Each time was the same exact routine. She would pick up the plates, shake her head, and sigh heavily. “I can’t believe my daughter has a job that would require this kind of modification. I never would have allowed you to go if I knew.”

“It’s okay,” I would say. “It’s an extra precaution for all time travelers.”

Which was obviously a big lie. But I could only imagine the intense fretting my mom would have knowing that her daughter’s future fiancée was an anger issue poster child.

The first week after the operation, I regretted not opting for a virtual resort during recovery. I didn’t even know how boring life could possibly be. A mind-numbing melt into a giant goopy puddle kind of boring.

During the second week, I delved into The Beatles. I listened to each and every song John had ever produced, twice. And that was hundreds and hundreds of songs. How can someone die at forty and still have accomplished so much? And so much brilliant stuff? To be honest, as a songwriter, I felt pretty intimated trying to get inside this prolific brain of his.

Week four I had seen every documentary, read every book, and loved every song. Admittedly, I really loved the music. I did. I remember one day feeling like I was never going to be the same Emmeline ever again. A steel-plated robot who couldn’t even move. What if they had botched the surgery? What if the opposite effect took place and I was super fragile now? What if John sneezed on me and broke my arm or something? That was the day that I stumbled onto ‘Across the Universe’. And I cried. Frankly, I wept. I had no idea why.

Week five I was almost back to normal and anxious as ever to finish training and just move on with it. And by week six, I basically ignored the fact that I was still recovering and skipped into the time-altering department.

After seeing me all recovered and prancing around, the council probably realized that they had nothing else to hold me back. Finally, I got the message that I would be leaving on schedule. May 3rd. The very next day. I was both giddy and horrified. I read the notification, sank to my knees, and squealed so loudly that I think I heard my neighbor’s dog bark in reply.

I had to get ready. And not just ready in an about-to-change-history kind of way, but in an about-to-catch-a-man way. I called my hair girl, Marty, to get me an emergency appointment ASAP. I asked her to install a golden floofy hairdo onto my scalp port mod. One that would turn me into Bridgit Bardot, the European sex goddess of the late 50s.

When I sent the pictures of the messy blonde bun with long shaggy bangs, her reply was kind of hesitant. She said words like “unattractive” and “ratted” and “outdated”. Well, duh, Marty, I don’t want anything modern, that would probably scare them half to death. I wanted her to model me into John’s perfect girl.

It was going to be a while at the salon since she had to remove each piece of my artificial hair and install the new blonde ones. Ugh. Can you imagine getting this look at a fifties salon? Only having your natural birth-given hair to destroy as you did it. That sounded like a nightmare to me and I’m glad we didn’t have that inconvenience anymore.

I sat in a pleather low-back seat, overpowered by the perfume fragrances of the artificial hair. Hundreds of beautiful current-age hairstyles blinked on and off the walls. My chest tightened. I would not be walking out of there with any of those.

As Marty worked on my hair, she asked me about my mission, with her usual Southern drawl.

“So, you’re going all the way back to 1958 to date this guy?” she asked, chewing bubble gum loudly and snapping it as she talked.

“Yes and no?” Really no, but I didn’t want to hurt her feelings for asking me something so dumb. “I’m just trying to alter history.”

“So, this beetle guy,” she continued. “What’s he like?”

“John Lennon? He’s um…” Wow, that was a loaded question. “He’s just this British guy. I don’t know. I haven’t met him yet.”

“Well, sure. But you must have picked up something reading all that stuff about him.” Marty flashed me a toothy grin in the reflection as she threaded another piece of blonde hair into my scalp.

“Well, he’s a genius for one. There’s no denying that,” I said. “And he’s, well he’s known for being… I don’t know how to say this. Like… feisty?” 

“Feisty?” Marty laughed, her drawl really hitting that word.

“Rebellious, I guess?” I asked, squinting. “Anti-establishment. Stay in bed and grow your hair out.” I laughed.

Grow your hair?” Marty asked as she threaded another lock in my scalp.

“Never mind.”

Marty blew a giant bubble with her gum. Pop! “Is he cute though?”

“Um.” I scrunched my eyebrows together and doubled back. Kinda weird thinking of a historical figure like that, but I guess everything about the mission was kinda weird. “In the beginning he… I guess, sure. It’s not like here, where everyone modifies their bodies to look perfect.”

“Well, do you have anything in common with him?”

“Uh…” Gee, Marty. Thanks for instilling such great confidence in me the night before I meet him. I now, feel totally prepared to bait my feminine trap with every allure of my bland personality.

“We both like music and songwriting,” I said. “But that’s not really going to help me with convincing him to give it up.”

“Hey, well, you gave it up!” she said adding the last piece of hair. “So, there ya go!”

“Right. Yeah.” I sank a few inches in the chair. Grateful to have that last bit of hair installed because I was ready to stop talking to Marty.

I transferred the money into her IND and left. The dim red sun dipped past the horizon. Six o’clock. In just twelve hours, I would be standing in front of a burning open portal.

As soon as I walked in the door of my house and Que saw me, all hell broke loose.

“What is that?” Que rested his arm on the banister of the stairs. “Wow. Did you get your money back at least?”

“Shut up! You little micro virus!” I said through clenched teeth.

“That’s alright, Emmie,” Que said, looking at his nailbed. “It’s not like your whole mission revolves around you attracting a guy or something.”

Do you want a set of missing teeth? Because it sounds like you want a whole mouthful of knocked-out teeth.” I pushed past him on the stairs to go worry in private. But Que followed me to my bedroom where I slumped on my protein mesh bed.

“Am I stupid for doing this?” I asked him, although I knew the answer. “I mean, how am I really going to get this guy to propose to me?”

He shrugged and leaned against the doorframe. “You could always fake a pregnancy.”

“I’m not doing that.”

“It’s the 1950’s they don’t have a good way to double-check that.”

“Yeah, when nine months goes by and no baby comes out,” I said, rolling my eyes.

“So, alright, don’t fake it. Go through with the pregnancy then.”

“Come ON,” I said flopping forward on the bed. “Isn’t there some kind of male insight you can give me or what?”

Que gave me a curt nod. “Okay. Alright. Look. If you’re unsure whether he’s into you, just wait for the ‘twist and lean’.”

“The what?” I asked with squinted eyes.

“Twist and leeeeean,” Que sang to the tune of The Beatles’ Twist and Shout. Which probably would have been a great joke if it weren’t wasted on my blank stare.

“When a guy’s all smoked for you and he twists toward you and leans in,” he explained with hand gestures. My eyes shifted awkwardly and he took an incredulous step into the room. “You don’t know what a ‘twist and lean’ is?”

“I know this isn’t going to shock you or anything, but uh,” I swept my hands out and gestured at my body. “I don’t have a lot of guys twisting and leaning at me.” 

Que stepped up to me and put his hands on his hips.

“So, let’s say this Beatles guy is sitting next to you like this…” He sat next to me on the bed all stiffly and awkward with his hands tucked between his knees. “And you start talking to him and he does this…”

Suddenly Que pulled his shoulder back until his torso was squarely facing me, then he leaned in a little too close.

“Okay, ew. Get away,” I said pushing his face out of my bubble and scooting as far over on the bed as possible.

“If he does that,” he said. “He’s a poor smitten bastard.”

“It’s 1958, Que! He’s not some hyper boner from the Virtual-gasm.”

“The twist and lean is timeless! That is a universal man beg for ‘please have sex with me’.”

“Well, I need the man beg for ‘please marry me’.”

Que gave me a deep grimace. “Fake pregnancy,” he whispered.

I threw my pillow at him. “You are no help at all!”

I ran my fingers over my new locks of hair. Each strand seemed like a blade of grass it was so thick. I didn’t feel like myself. And I didn’t look like myself anymore. How could I ever fit into the 1950s? How could I pull off this whole ridiculous mission? 

“Que,” I said quietly. “I’m scared. What happens if this guy doesn’t like me?”

Que shrugged. “Well, what’s not to like?”

I tucked my hair behind my ear and smiled. “Thanks,” I said.

“Hey, wait, I got you something,” he said. “Something to take with you on your trip. Or mission thingy. Whatever.”

 “Really? You got me something.” I eyed him suspiciously. “Alright. Let’s see it.”

He grinned and flopped onto my bed, getting his dirty shoes all over my covers, thank you so much. He activated his IND. “I know they gave you a new IND and you might not have access to everything. So, I compiled some footage of our favorite memories. That way you have at least something to remember 2109 by.”

Que began the movie, which was of the two of us on hover jets over Big Bear lake. We were trying to tag each other with lasers. A stupid game we invented as kids.

I melted. “Que. That’s so sweet.” I grabbed him and gave him the tightest hug. He was a crazy brother who said rude things, but that was somehow part of his love-ableness. And I was going to miss him something terrible.

He downloaded the videos into my IND, and I had him with me. At least in video form.

Lying in bed that night, I felt sick. A slow-burning nausea that stayed with me and grew each hour that ticked by. Finally, sometime before sunrise, I sat in bed and opened my IND, determined to get my jitters out.

I opened a blank page and made two columns. PRO and CON.

“Okay,” I sighed to myself. “Here we go.”

PRO. I get to time travel.

I mean, obviously, this was the biggest carrot they were dangling in front of my face. How can anyone pass up an opportunity like this?

CON. I might have to murder someone.

I groaned. Yeah. I mean, pretty much. There it was in black and white. Was the adventure of time travel worth taking someone else’s life? I underlined the word “might” and moved on.

PRO. Whether or not I shoot someone I’ll get to keep my job.

I really did not want to spend every day slogging to Plate Tech, counting down the hours and the days of the weeks until I go home and sleep. I re-read this pro, grimaced, and added “Probably” at the end.

CON. If I fail to get the proposal, the council will keep killing people like it’s the right thing to do.

And let’s face it, there was no way I was actually getting a proposal.

PRO. If I do get the proposal though, the council will be forced to change their policies. I would be saving hundreds of lives.

 I would be changing this world and all the alternate worlds for the better. A real, honest-to-goodness change. It would be cowardly not to go forward with it, right?

CON. If I do get the proposal, I’ll have to figure out a way to break up with him that would somehow prevent him from returning to music. And CON, if I can’t, then I’ll actually have to follow through with the marriage.

I rubbed my hands down my face. “What in the actual hell am I doing?” I groaned.

CON. He could be ugly and smelly and rude, and a cynical ass and I’ll have to pretend to like him. I’m not that good of a liar.

I drew in a slow deep breath and hesitantly added another one.

CON. His anger issue thing is a thing. 

Okay, so far, a lot of cons.

But PRO. I get to witness real actual historical things! Musical ones!

Also CON. One time in a VR hunting simulation, I shot myself in the leg to get out of shooting a mother bear.

Not really related so I deleted it.

PRO. The council has already spent millions of dollars to calculate the exact coordinate to burn the portal and you kind of can’t chicken out at this point.

Was that even a pro?

CON. That other traveler didn’t come back that one time.

My spit tasted sour. Probably from the already forming ulcer burning through my stomach. My screen shut off and I climbed under my covers, staring at the soft swirling galaxies projected on my ceiling until the edge of sunlight displayed on the artificial windows. I got up, put on my tweed skirt, and got ready to face the portal.