Three Things You Didn’t Know About Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

June 24, 2021June 22, 2021 valmanwillLeave a comment

A long time ago, toward the beginning of the 2020 quarantine, I posted this joke:

And well YOU ASKED FOR IT.

So here are my top three break-down theories on Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. (Spoilers. But if you haven’t seen this movie yet, I really don’t know what you’re waiting for)

1 Cameron Fry is the protagonist. Ferris Bueller is the narrator

The last time I watched this movie, I thought to myself, “This would make an excellent YA novel from the point of view of Cameron Fry.” That’s when the dynamic really became clear. This movie is Cameron’s story. Not Ferris’.

At the beginning of the movie, we see Ferris Bueller… super cool, untouchable, clever, and mischievous. And at the end of the movie, we see Ferris Bueller… super cool, untouchable, clever, and mischievous. He remains constant throughout the movie, he doesn’t have an arc. He doesn’t change. And he’s not supposed to! He acts as a constant change agent that shapes all the other characters around him. (More on that in point two).

In the contrast, we see Cameron at the beginning of the movie- sick, miserable, “not dying, just can’t think of anything good to do”. The character has a problem to be solved, like all good and compelling protagonists. He’s about to make a change. It’s The Hero’s Journey. He’s had the literal “call to adventure” and is now being forced out of his comfort zone into this crazy escapade with his best friend.

It’s not even Ferris’ DAY OFF, if you think about it. Ferris has already missed school nine times up to this point. This is Cameron’s Day Off.

Ferris is the narrator for Cameron’s story. Even stylistically, he breaks the fourth wall to look into the camera and address the audience directly. If you still don’t believe Cameron is the main character, consider this: Ferris doesn’t talk about the other characters. He’s not telling you how he met Sloane. Hardly the only thing he says about Jeanie is that she got a car and he didn’t. Throughout the movie, he tells the audience about Cameron. His cold relationships with his parents, his character flaws. Cameron Fry is the focus because he is about to make the biggest change (AKA protagonist)

2. Ferris helps the characters grow up not down

At a quick glance, you might think that Ferris is encouraging his friends to go off on a childish adventure. But he’s not. He’s forcing them to challenge authority and assume their own identities as adults. They’re not skipping school to go to the local arcade (which is what Rooney thinks they’re doing). He’s taking them to art museums, fine restaurants, and even the stock exchange. At every moment he’s challenging them to give up their passive childhood for an independent adulthood. Even Sloane is challenged by Ferris in this way when he asks her if she wants to get married.

It’s not about the irresponsibility, although he knows how to do that well. As the active change agent in the story he has a motive for each person. For example, it’s not about stealing the car, he’s getting Cameron to challenge his father.

In the B story, Jeanie is also forced to change in this way. She constantly gripes and moans about having no control in her life (If I was BLEEDING out my eyes you’d still make me go to school). Then after a therapeutic conversation with Charlie Sheen, she has FERRIS busting his a$$ to beat her home and SHE is the one to save him from Rooney. In parellel to Cameron’s story, she takes back her control.

3. Ferris Bueller is actually John Lennon

You really think I could go one blog post without mentioning this guy??

Okay but this is FOR REAL. I know a fellow Lennon-obsessed writer when I see one. And Hughes no-doubt-in-my-mind modeled Ferris Bueller after John Lennon. He basically tells us upfront.

Ferris first directly name drops Lennon to the audience, by quoting; “I don’t believe in Beatles, I just believe in me.” Then he tells us, “I could be The Walrus.”

Ferris spends the movie as the leader, challenging authority and encouraging mischief and mayhem a la “A Hard Day’s Night”. Hughes even recreated the same shot of them jumping in slow motion with their arms raised.

Then of course to cap it all off. He lip syncs to Twist and Shout on the parade float. And I really don’t know how you can get anymore obvious than that.

If you don’t believe that Hughes would go to such lengths to model a character after Lennon, consider The Breakfast Club, when the janitor readily admits that he wanted to “grow up and become John Lennon”. Or when Brian the Brain whispers to himself about being The Walrus.

At the very end of the film, Ferris leans back in his hands and says the classic line, “Life moves pretty fast, if you don’t stop and look around once and a while you could miss it.”

…Which is supposedly a derivative of this quote…

BONUS!

I truly feel that I would be amiss to not lead you into this excellent conspiracy theory from the inner depth of Redditt. The theory is that Ferris is actually a figment of Cameron’s imagination. It’s a more compelling theory than you would think! I’ll leave the video here, so you can have your mind blown.

MINUS ONE: A Skit by Val Manwill

February 14, 2019December 8, 2018 valmanwillLeave a comment

I obviously love stage mishaps so much, I mean, I’ve dedicated the whole last two months on it. But you know what’s even better than stage mishaps? A stage play ABOUT mishaps! Noises Off anyone??

Well anyway, a handful of years ago, I tried to write my own play within a play. And this is what I ended up with. It’s called Minus One. It’s quite an amateur piece of playwrighting, so that’s fine, just look past that. It was intended to be performed by 9th – 11th graders, if that gives you some kind of an idea. But I thought that it would be fun to share! So HERE YOU ARE:

MINUS ONE

By Val Manwill

ACT ONE

“Hamlet” rehearsal. SERVANT 4 enters, sets a sword and goblet on a table, then leaves. CLAUDIUS & LAERTES enter.

CLAUDIUS: Here, young Laertes. A sword unbated.

LAERTES: Heh, heh, heh. I’ll anoint my sword with an unction so mortal that there is none that can save the thing from death that is but scratched withal.

CLAUDIUS: Let’s further think of this, if this should fail—

Enter HAMLET

HAMLET: Dearest Laertes! Give me your pardon, sir.

DIRECTOR: (interrupting from the audience) Stop! Stop!

The actors groan.

DIRECTOR: Hamlet. You were early. Again. I don’t know how you manage to be a perfect seven seconds early – every. Single. Time.

HAMLET: I am sorry, but it’s incredibly hard to hear from the wings. I think it’s that air vent.

HORATIO: (pokes his head from the curtains) It’s true. You really can’t hear a thing back here.

DIRECTOR: Do you understand what’s going on in this scene?

HAMLET: I, uh—

DIRECTOR: They’re plotting your murder.

HAMLET: Yeah…

DIRECTOR: Isn’t that kind of hard to plot your murder if YOU’RE STANDING RIGHT THERE!?

HAMLET: … Oh.

DIRECTOR: I’m done with excuses. If you can’t hear the lines then count to 30 in your head and come out on stage. Take it again.

THE ACTORS reset and begin again.

CLAUDIUS: Here, young Laertes. A sword unbated

LAERTES: Heh, heh, heh. I’ll anoint my sword with an unction so mortal that there is none that can save the thing from death that is but scratched withal.

CLAUDIUS: Let’s further think of this, if this should fail, I’ll have prepared him a chalice.

CLAUDIUS takes the poison from LAERTES and pours it into the cup. LAERTES dips his sword into the poison cup. There is an awkward pause and then enter HAMLET.

HAMLET: Dearest Laertes! Give me your pardon, sir. I’ve done you wrong.

LAERTES: I am satisfied in nature.

DIRECTOR: Okay. Better!

Enter HORATIO, GERTRUDE, and SERVANT 4 who is carrying Hamlet’s sword. SERVANT 4 hands Hamlet the sword. LAERTES does a super goofy fencing maneuver but has one hand holding up his pants.

DIRECTOR: Stop. Laertes why are you only using one hand?

LAERTES: My fencing pants are too big. I’m trying to hold onto them.

DIRECTOR: Safety pin it.

LAERTES: I can’t reach back there.

DIRECTOR: Where’s Angie? (Calls) Angie!

HORATIO: She’s helping the army of Fortenbras change in the green room.

DIRECTOR: Then grab one of the servants running around back there to help you. We are grown adults, people! This shouldn’t be that hard! Continue please.

HAMLET and LAERTES fence.

DIRECTOR: Servant 4 move to the back please. Further please. Thank you.

GERTRUDE: The queen carouses to thy fortune, Hamlet.

GERTRUDE picks up the cup

CLAUDIUS: Gertrude, do not drink.

GERTRUDE: I will, my lord. I pray you, pardon me. (drinks)

LAERTES: (aside to CLAUDIUS) My lord, I’ll hit him now.

LAERTES stabs HAMLET. They fight, HAMLET stabs LAERTES with the poisoned sword.

CLAUDIUS: Part them! They are incensed!

HORATIO: They bleed on both sides!

GERTRUDE: (overdramatic) The drink! I am poisoned.

GERTRUDE dies in the most over the top way possible. THE OTHER ACTORS roll their eyes. THE DIRECTOR stands and applauds.

DIRECTOR: My dear! Brilliant as always. That was fabulous! You were flawless.

GERTRUDE: Well, of course it was. Would you expect anything else?

DIRECTOR: Absolutely not. Please go on.

HORATIO: (continuing) Treachery! Seek it out.

LAERTES: It is here, Hamlet. Hamlet, thou art slain. No medicine in the world can do thee good. The king, the king’s to blame.

HAMLET: Here, thou incestuous, murderous, damnèd Dane, Drink off this potion. Follow my mother.

HAMLET forces CLAUDIUS to drink the poison. CLAUDIUS dies.

LAERTES: He is justly served. Forgive me, noble Hamlet. (dies)

HAMLET: Horatio, I am dead. Thou livest. If thou didst ever hold me in thy heart—

Suddenly, HAMLET makes the most obvious and ridiculous ‘blank face’ as he forgets his line.

DIRECTOR: Stop! (To himself) So close. We were SO close!

HAMLET: I forgot what comes next.

DIRECTOR: How do you NOT have your lines memorized 2 hours before we OPEN THIS SHOW!

HAMLET: I’m sorry. I just kind of freeze up you know?

DIRECTOR: Trust me, I know. Everyone in the audience knows! It’s that stupid face that you make.

CLAUDIUS: I can’t work like this.

HAMLET: I’m sorry, really. I just don’t know how to improvise Shakespeare.

DIRECTOR: I feel so unappreciated right now. I have given you the most coveted role in all of the last 500 years of theatre. I made you. When I met you, you were in a public library reciting The Night Before Christmas.

HAMLET: That’s not fair. . . everyone loved my rendition of The Night Before Christmas.

DIRECTOR: Just do this show – THE RIGHT WAY! Please! Surprise me for once. Continue.

HAMLET: Draw thy breath in pain To tell my story. dies

HORATIO: Now cracks a noble heart. Good night, sweet prince, And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest!

DIRECTOR: Aaaaaand curtain! Good. Well, almost good. I feel like – things are too cluttered in this ending. Uh Servant 4?

SERVANT 4: Yes?

DIRECTOR: I don’t think we’ll be needing you for this ending scene. It doesn’t work with you there. You’re blocking most of the action.

GERTRUDE: I think this scene should be for leads only.

DIRECTOR: That’s just what I was thinking. Servant 4, thank you, but you’re cut. Everyone else, let’s set for this show.

Everyone leaves the stage except for SERVANT 4 who is almost in tears.

SERVANT 4: “Cut”? Fine. I’m going home!

SERVANT 4 runs off the stage

ACT TWO

THE DIRECTOR stands on stage this time acknowledging the audience.

DIRECTOR: Ladies and gentlemen, thank you all so much for coming to our version of the beloved play Hamlet. I wanted to give a quick message regarding the final scene- Act 5 scene 2. This scene is a very, very serious part of the play and we would appreciate it if all cell phones were turned off and uh, no talking please. Without further ado – The finale of Hamlet.

THE DIRECTOR sits down, and CLAUDIUS & LAERTES enter.

CLAUDIUS: Here, young Laertes. A sword unbated—

CLAUDIUS & LAERTES look down at the table realizing the key props are missing.

CLAUDIUS: Here is not a sword unbated.

LAERTES: (scoots closer to the curtain and speaks loudly) Uhhh- Perhaps Lord Hamlet could bring me my sword.

CLAUDIUS: Hamlet is going to bring YOU a POISIONED SWORD?

LAERTES: Or perhaps I’ll fetch the sword myself! (Runs off stage)

CLAUDIUS: (calls after LAERTES) Hey a chalice too. A chalice! (Follows LAERTES off stage)

Enter Hamlet

HAMLET: Dearest Laertes! Give me your pardon, sir… I have … done you wrong?

HAMLET looks around confused at finding himself alone on stage.

LAERTES: I have the sword!

HAMLET ducks down behind a chair as LAERTES enters with a sword from stage right and CLAUDIUS with a bottle of water from stage left.

LAERTES: I’ll anoint it with an unction so mortal that there is none that can save the thing from death that is but scratched withal.

CLAUDIUS: I’ll have prepared him a chalice.

LAERTES: A bottle?

CLAUDIUS: A CHALICE!

CLAUDIUS takes the poison and puts it into the bottle. LAERTES tries to get his sword in the bottle but the opening is too small.

LAERTES: (whispering) It won’t go!

From behind the couch, HAMLET silently counts to 30 on his fingers..

HAMLET: Dearest Laertes!

HAMLET pops up from behind the chair startling CLAUDIUS and LAERTES who violently spills the water in the bottle.

HAMLET: Give me your pardon, sir. I’ve done you wrong.

LAERTES: (sarcastically) I am satisfied in nature.

Enter HORATIO and GERTRUDE

CLAUDIUS: (to HORATIO) Give him his foil.

HORATIO: What, Me?

CLAUDIUS: (through his teeth) Just get it.

Exit HORATIO. LAERTES begins his elaborate and goofy fencing move.

LAERTES: Come, my lord.

HAMLET: I – I can’t fight you without a sword.

LAERTES’ pants drop to his ankles.

LAERTES: Very well. I shall fight you… when you have… a sword. If you’ll excuse me just a moment.

With his pants still around his ankles he waddles off stage. HAMLET sits in the chair, waiting.

GERTRUDE: (slightly panicked) Uhh the queen carouses to thy fortune, Hamlet.

GERTRUDE picks up the water bottle.

CLAUDIUS: Gertrude, seriously. Do not drink.

GERTRUDE: I will, my lord. I pray you, pardon me. (drinks)

THE DIRECTOR crawls “inconspicuously” on the stage and places a new cup on the table. GERTRUDE begins her dramatic over the top death scene.

GERTRUDE: The drink! I am poisoned. (dies)

CLAUDIUS: Um, actually dear. (Pointing to the new cup) I believe this is the poisoned one.

GERTRUDE: Oh.

Gertrude gets up, walks over to the new cup and takes a sip.

GERTUDE: Oh NO! The drink! I am poisoned. (Re-dies)

THE DIRECTOR drags Claudius offstage by his robe.

CLAUDIUS: I will return. Delay the sword fight. Tarry!

CLAUDIUS and THE DIRECTOR exit stage left as HORATIO runs in stage right.

HORATIO: I’ve got the sword. I’ve got it!

HORATIO trips on the water spill and is knocked unconscious. HAMLET turns around and breaks the fourth wall, making the same ridiculously blank face as earlier. He stands up.

HAMLET: (attempting to improvise) Tis . . . tis . . . twas . . . the night before Christmas and all through the house. Not a creature was stirring not even a mouse. The stockings were hung by the chimney with care-

Suddenly LAERTES rushes in with the original goblet and splashes HAMLET in the face.

LAERTES: Aha! It is here, Hamlet. Hamlet, thou art slain. No medicine in the world can do thee good.

Re-enter CLAUDIUS with another sword.

CLAUDIUS: Part them! They are incensed.

THE DIRECTOR enters stage right and picks up HORATIO’s limp body. He moves him around like a puppet.

DIRECTOR: (as Horatio) They bleed on both sides!

GERTRUDE: (from the ground) The cup! I am poisoned!

DIRECTOR: (as Horatio) Now cracks a noble heart.—Good night, sweet prince, and flights of angels sing me to my rest! CURTAIN! CURTAIN!

THE ACTORS freeze and SERVANT 4 enters, addressing the audience.

SERVANT 4: The moral of our little play is that no one person is bigger than another. No matter how small of a part you think you do, you can make a GIANT difference!

fin

6 Things I’ve Learned Writing About Myself

August 17, 2017August 17, 2017 valmanwillLeave a comment

I’m about to finish writing the final season of my TV show project, which will be an INCREDIBLE accomplishment. It has been a full year and 200,000+ words of what I hope to look back on and consider the beginning of my “writing career”. In honor of its closing I wanted to talk about what I’ve learned on this auto-biographical journey:

1. Things that I didn’t think we’re such a big deal turned out to be pivotal moments in my life.

Honestly, I had SO much self-discovery during this project. There were scenes that got me double thinking of why I had chosen that particular thing to write in. But overall, those little moments uncovered my flaws, my greatest strengths and some deeply ingrained fears. In re-reading episodes, I often put myself on the psychiatrist couch and just learned all about Val.

2. Things that were irritating at the time turned out to be the funniest things to write.

On the other hand, things that were SUCH A BIG DEAL in my teenage world turned out to be nothing. Writing my over-dramatic reactions had me laughing out loud a lot.

3. Writing someone else’s POV caused me to develop a deeper respect for them.

When I was FORCED to come up with reasons why person X did reaction Y it really made me appreciate that person in real life… even if those reasons were completely fabricated. This happened with nearly everyone I wrote about. The more scenes I constructed the more I realized that these guys are some DANG STRONG CHARACTERS. Being able to be that ghostly third-person presence, really helped me to change my perspective.

4. I am a little to a lot conceited…

It is really difficult not to twist things to make yourself seem really great… Soooo this is embarrassing… there are five different male characters who are in love with Elle. Oops. That doesn’t seem bad, but considering how few consistent characters there are… it comes off as A LOT. I think I did this because I was so flattered when anyone liked me that I wanted to write about all of them… all five. I’m sure when my children pick up these old manuscripts they’ll either cringe or roll their eyes.

5. Human memory is really unreliable

Pardon my symbols, but this is freaky as $^*%. I actually had accrued false memories over a ten year span. Memory is a joke. This one scene had me so freaked out, I was wrapping tin foil around my head and crying on the floor. This is how I remembered the memory: I was asked out on a date in the summer… But then I told a friend about it at school who came over after to help me do my hair… But then one of the guys on the date had brass knuckles in a FREAKING COAT POCKET. But guess what? It all took place during the summer after all. What the what!? How can you trust anything that has happened to you in your lifetime? Doesn’t that concept just CREEP YOU OUT?

6. I plan to keep writing.

I really have enjoyed every minute that I’ve poured into these pages and I have a lot more stories to tell. . .

In fact. . .

I will be announcing my next project in September!!!!

new project announcement

Be very excited.

If you can’t wait for my new mysterious project, then let me tell you where to accrue some good reading. Usborne Books is really cool. They have tons of amazing educational kids books. If you’re a mom or a teacher or a weird hybrid mix like me, this is a great resource for you:

J6433.myubam.com

And if you want to know more about my-life-turned-TV-show click HERE.