Kids Say the Darndest Things (Aug 2021)

JACK: Your butt is big, Mom.

ME: Okay, thanks.

JACK: I mean, it’s super DUPER big.

ME: Okay! I got it!


CASEY: (spinning) I’m dizzy!

ME: (making a dumb Dad Joke) What do you want to do, Dizzy?

CASEY: I want to go to Dizzy-land!


Lately Casey has been calling Jack, “my Jack”. Like, “Where is my Jack?” “There’s my Jack! My Jack is back!” He also has been insisting that they wear the same color of shirt everyday. So today, when he saw Jack was wearing a red shirt, he demanded to be changed out of his blue shirt.

CASEY: I don’t match my Jack! No, I need to match my Jack!


A wasp landed on Jack Heroically, Dan swatted it away.

JACK: No I wanted him! He liked me!


We went on a hike and my two-year-old starting singing aloud every single thing that was happening.

CASEY: (cheerful singing) There’s lots of sand. And lots of mud. I’m farting. I farted and mommy laughed.


The boys caught a cold.

ME: (checking in) How are you feeling?

JACK: I feel better.

CASEY: I feel cough.


On the same note. Casey’s cough worsened, which always aggravates his sensitive gag reflex. After the grossest sounding cough turned hacking gag/possible slight puke, he turns to me and very calmly and politely says

CASEY: I have a little cough.


ME: Coconuts.

JACK: Cock and nuts?

ME: That’s definitely not how you pronounce it…


A while ago, I wrote about Jack mispronouncing the word “freckle”. The other day, Dan and I learned that Casey calls it “a peckle”. And this is my official petition to change the word freckle to peckle.

Kids Say the Darndest Things (July 2021)

CASEY: (yelling) Tickle me! Tickle me!

ME: Shhh!

CASEY: (whispers) Tickle me. Tickle me.


ME: Hold on, I gotta get dressed before we go swimming.

JACK: It’s not called a dress It’s called a swimming suit

Meanwhile Casey is over here calling his a “swim soup”


Every time Casey finishes a book he enthusiastically calls out “AMEN!” instead of “The End”.


So my husband passionately hates Sour Cream and Cheddar chips. (I know what’s up with that??) One day he was trying to indoctrinate my child away from liking those chips by referring to them as “stinky fart chips”. Not only does Jack still like those chips, but now he permanently calls them “fart chips”.

JACK: Can I have fart chips with my sandwich?


CASEY: (every time he’s about to go down the slide) Here come me!


Jack insisted on wearing his underwear backwards. When my husband asked why he said

JACK: Because I don’t like the pocket in the front.


CASEY: (rolling on the couch) I’m a wiggly, wiggly worm!!


One night Jack called out to in terror. Dan rushed in and asked what was wrong.

JACK: (crying) I can’t count to zero!
DAN: … No one can count to zero. Go back to sleep.


ME: Hey. I love you.
CASEY: Oh, I glad.

Resolutions Update: Summer Quarter

Let’s check in on some of these resolutions shall we?

MAKE A LIST OF THINGS TO PUT TOGETHER IN THE NEW HOUSE; DO SOME OF THE THINGS:

Things are HAPPENING! Let me tell you I am THRILLED. The first half of the year, I thought things were going so slowly, but now as more and more things are checked off the list, I see just how much progress we’re actually making! It’s great! We even checked off our two biggest projects this quarter. Fixing our irrigation system and putting new lights in the basement. Man, you know you’re a boring adult when you do some remodeling and then that’s all you want to talk about. Every time anyone comes over I’m like, “Look at these lights! Have you seen how bright it is?? You shoulda seen it before! The paint color is different! Aren’t these great lights? Look, they’re smart lights I can make them Christmas colors wheeeeeeeeee!”

MAKE A HABIT OF STRETCHING EVERY DAY, SLOWLY BUILD UP A YOGA ROUTINE:

Well, this one suddenly died. Pffffffft! I don’t know what happened! I was doing so well and then suddenly I wasn’t doing well anymore!

CLEAN WHILE THE BOYS ARE IN THE BATH

And then this one suddenly came alive. HAHAHA! What happened was Jack started going to school every day. And so I was like THIS IS IT. I am DOING A FREAKING CLEANING ROUTINE. And so far it’s going well. I don’t know why I can’t have a cleaning routine AND an excersice routine. It’s like one or the other. Like I have to just pick one to win at in life.

WRITING WRITING EVERYWHERE

I mean… I don’t know. I’m at a little bit of a loss. I’m now in the middle of two books. Both paranormal thrillers. Sooooo… I JUST DON’T KNOW! I was doing great with the one and then suddenly I stopped writing in the middle of May. And I have not been able to pick it back up. It kind of freaks me out. This happens to me a lot. I will be PLOWING forward on a new project and then get burnt out at thirty thousand words. HOW DO YOU GET OVER THAT HURDLE??? Comment any advice please!! At least I’m back to blogging so that part is okay. Short story I don’t know. But first draft done by fall?? UGHHHHH! JUST LET THIS HAPPEN FOR ME PLEASE MUSES!!