Tag: embarrassing

The Time I Took An Awkward Selfie

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I was in the Arts Building at the University of Utah. I had just come out of a meeting with my supervisor and decided to hit the restroom before class… when I decided to do something very stupid. Typical, typical Val.

There are two types of people in this world: people who play on their Smart Phones while doing their biz on the can and LIARS.

So I’m on the toilet, probably taking a quiz to find out which salad best suits my astrological needs. My best friend Kayla sends me a Snap Chat asking me what I was up to.

Oh ho ho.

excellent

In case you haven’t read about it already, I am essentially a 10 year old. My sense of humor is SO stupid that the trailer of my life would probably have multiple fart sounds and record scratches.

So I’m all, “Guess I gotta show her what I’m up to then”. And I take a picture of myself sitting on the toilet.

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Wow. Jeez. Val. Yuck. Yeah. That’s pretty embarrassing. NO! THAT’S NOT EVEN THE EMBARRASSING PART.

The embarrassing part was that I forgot that my phone was set to atomic blast sound level. The fake shutter click just like BOOMED out through the public restroom. There were at least two other girls in there who now knew that I was in there… taking pictures of … whatever.

I literally had to sit on the toilet for another fifteen minutes, just to wait for them to leave so I didn’t have to look them in the eye.

You think that would deter me from toilet selfies, but not at all.

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Here’s one from when I had actually put make up on that day, but never got a chance to leave the house. You wanna judge me, that’s cool, but make-up is expensive! Couldn’t let it go to waste.

… Get it? Couldn’t let it go to waste. *fart sound* *record scratches* *canned laughter*

 

 

The thing that happened on my wedding day…

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I was honestly NEVER going to tell anyone this story. Seriously. I’m blushing just thinking about typing this one. But it’s a pretty funny story and my husband said it was okay, so…

*cringing so hard*

Here it is…

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We had our ceremony in one city and then our open house reception in another. We planned for time to take pictures after the wedding and go right to the reception, but the shoot ended up being super quick! We had like an hour or so before the next set of pictures at the reception.

We had no clue what to do. Bum around town in our gown and tux? Go to the reception place and take a nap? Finally I was like, look… this is the most romantic day of our lives. And we have an hour to ourselves! We should do something totally spontaneous that we can say we did on our wedding day.

So we decided to drive up a random canyon to an overlook.

the overlook
This one.

It was a surprisingly crowded day at this overlook so we parked on a little spot of gravel on the other side of the lot. We took some pictures and talked about how cool it is being married now. It was so sweet and romantic… too romantic actually. We started making out.

At some point during the M.O.S. I completely moved over to Daniel’s seat… I was WAY into it. But c’mon! Wedding day! There was this really loud constant noise but I was a bride and in love and didn’t pay any attention to it. Finally after a good solid minute of this loud noise we stop kissing. “Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep” What is that?

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That’s when it occurred to me that I was SITTING ON THE HORN OF THE STEERING WHEEL.

oh my gosh.

And there were tons of people there too. IN BROAD DAYLIGHT. Beep! Don’t mind us. Just a bride and groom mauling each other over here.

Dan looked over at the other cars and calls out, “It’s okay. We’re married now.” And we peel out of there.

 

lol SO ANYWAYS. You can get that picture out of your head now by looking at this! These were our Halloween costumes this year: Can you guess who we were?

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KuzCOooooo

Darling llama hat made by Yarnageddon! SHOUT OUT: https://www.etsy.com/shop/Yarnmagedon?ref=l2-shopheader-name

The Time I REALLY Told the Wrong Punchline

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When my husband and I were dating, I decided that I was going to tell him a little joke…

I’m not going to tell you what the joke was, because honestly it was an inappropriate joke and I shouldn’t have been telling it in the first place. All I’ll say, is that it had to do with a handshake and a leprechaun.

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That’s it… that’s all I’m going to tell you about it.

As I begin to tell him, I remembered how funny the punchline was… and it made me laugh before I could even get to said punchline. I started laughing really hard. So hard that … I farted. Audibly.

I vividly remember Dan blinking in confusion, wondering if that was part of the joke. IT WAS NOT. But now I’m laughing and crying of pure humiliation. And I never was able to finish that joke.

It was bad. But he still married me.

 

Just a short story today. You can click HERE for more embarrassing stories if you want to laugh at me. Go ahead… it’s fine… I won’t even know…