My Most Unpopular Opinion: I Neither Hated Nor Loved Barbie

It was just a’ight.

DISCLAIMER #1: Because this movie is so “cOntRoVErsiAL”, I want to clarify right off the bat that this is not a political commentary on this film in any way. Any critiques that I may or may not share is based solely on the storytelling that was presented.

DISCLAIMER #2: I’m going to be sharing spoilers. So if you haven’t seen the movie and are wanting to see the movie, you have now been adequately warned.

Positives first. I had a lot of fun watching this film. A lot of the jokes hit me just right and it was nice seeing something so original. Initially, I felt that the storyline with the Kens oppression in Barbieland was such a smart and funny commentary on the toy line. I distinctly remember playing ‘Stupid Ken’ with my sister, where Barbie would repeatedly reject his proposals. So for the most part it accurately portrayed my experiences growing up and playing with Barbies. Acting was great, sets were perfect, Margot Robbie’s wigs were immaculate.

So, this is why I only liked it and not loved it.

Barbie has two storylines. Storyline A is that Barbie suddenly develops an existential crisis and travels to the ‘real world’ to find out who has been playing with her. Storyline B is that Ken’s identity revolves around Barbie until he discovers that men rule the ‘real world’. In my opinion, both of these storylines are good. My biggest problem is that after the midpoint, Storyline B becomes Storyline A and then Storyline A just pilfers out of existence. Everything that is set up in the first half of the movie is magically solved for no reason. “And now Gloria’s daughter is totally fine with Barbie and has a relationship with her mother again.” “And now the Mattel executives pose no real threat to anyone.” “And now no one has an existential crisis anymore.”

What happened to Storyline A??? It was so strong but then there was hardly any follow through. In my personal opinion, Storyline A was the stronger of the two. Barbie was the PERFECT medium for that story! A perfect doll with everything she could ever want decides to become ‘real’ because the ups and downs of life are more fulfilling. I thought that was an insanely beautiful message. The scene where she sits on the bench and examines all the imperfections and nuances of the real world made me cry! (Don’t lie. You cried when she saw an elderly lady for the first time and said that she was beautiful. Admit it.)

But then Greta filed it away. It was like she never-minded the whole storyline. I mean, yeah, “I’m Just a Ken” was fun, but not fun enough to completely derail the story. Patriarchy already takes over everything in my womanly life, why does it have to have my fun Barbie movie too? And speaking of the word ‘patriarchy’ lol. Like I get that was supposed to be the humor of the film and I laughed the first time it was said (“Barbie, why didn’t you tell me about patriarchy?”). But if you drank every time they said the word ‘patriarchy’ after that you would be in the hospital getting your stomach pumped. Everything was SO on the nose like that. When America Ferrara went into her speech I felt like I was reading a Twitter thread or something. It wasn’t any new information for me. Girl, I know the expectations for women are impossible, please tell me how to accept my fear of death and cellulite.

And honestly, despite the thematic pounding I still enjoyed that storyline. I’m not trying to take away Ken’s Mojo Dojo Casa House, I just wanted it to remain B storyline, you know? Like y’all got me invested in this mother-daughter, existential crisis, flat foot, several executives riding a pink bike into Barbieland thing. In the end when they literally said, “But what about Barbie?” I was like YEAH HELLO??

So… okay… I know that script doctoring a Best Original Screenplay nomination is a ridiculously bold claim for someone who writes John Lennon fanfics… … But this is how I would have written the ending lol.

I think Sasha should have either refused to go with them or run away from Barbieland. Then Gloria would have made the decision to chase after her into the real world. Later in the film, Sasha would find her mother crying next to Barbie’s dream house in her room and holding the Mojo Dojo Casa Ken from Mattel. Sasha feels temporarily sorry for Gloria, remembering that her mother missed playing dolls with her she picks up Barbie and pretends to ask Ken why he is crying. Their conversation mirrors Barbie and Ken’s conversation in Barbieland happening at the same time. After the dual heart to heart scenes, Gloria and Ken realize that they have purpose outside of their relationship to Sasha and Barbie. They make the decision to become their own people and follow their own dreams. During the conversation, Barbie and Sasha apologize and vow to be kinder to those around them. Both Barbie and Sasha have a deep realization that they want to be real. For Sasha, putting away her meanest-girl-in-school facade to become a genuine version of herself. And for Barbie, literally real.

Then cut back to the original script where Ruth Handler’s ghost arrives for Barbie and Billie Eilish sing-whispers us out with the most beautiful song of the year.

I mean I don’t know. I guess it’s sort of nitpicky of me. Overall, I enjoyed the film just fine. Using my mom’s movie rating I would give it a C+ or a B-, which means if I were at a party and someone wanted to watch it I definitely would.

It was a’ight. Still recommend.

Monthly Writing Challenges

Several months ago I had this funny epiphany… I really like writing challenges. Challenges are really effective for me for some reason. Things like National Novel Writing Month and when I did weeklong goals for the new year. I don’t know if it’s because of the natural deadline that comes with it or it’s a good burst of dopamine when I win. I’m not a competitive person AT ALL. But I guess with myself I am? I don’t know.

So I thought, hey. I really should use this to further my writing. Just as an extra motivation. And I also noticed that month long challenges were really the most beneficial to myself. It’s a long enough time to get a serious amount done, but not so long that I get bored and want to give up.

And that’s how I came up with an annual schedule that I’m really REALLY excited about! I started piloting it last year and so far it’s going really well! Here are my challenges for each month, if you’re looking for motivation for yourself as well!

JANUARY – “Januwrimo” or “NaNoFinMo”

Kind of funny to start with the end, but I think it’s important. During the traditional NaNo, 50k typically doesn’t finish a standard novel, which is more around 80k. So, I would love to go ahead and do that after the holidays. Kick off the year with a 30k challenge and a finished draft. Um, yes please!

FEBRUARY – “Flash February”

It’s a short month for some short fiction! I have a bunch of short stories floating around in my mind and this is a perfect time to get those out. I could either chose to do something similar to The Ray Bradbury challenge (write one short story a week) or I could opt to comprise poems or flash fiction as well.

MARCH – “Spring Edit Blitz”  

Rather than a word goal, this could be a time goal, or a “to-do list of goals” centralized SOLELY on editing. This could be re-working an outline, writing a second or third draft, line edits. Anything.

APRIL & MAY – “Camp NaNoWriMo” / “NaNoSloMo”

“NaNoSloMo” is a challenge that I invented. It’s basically taking the traditional NaNo challenge, but instead of 50k in a single month, you give yourself two months to finish 50k. (25,000 words per month). As I mentioned earlier, I know the one-month challenge is very effective for me because I don’t get “bored” knowing that I change goals at the end of the month. So even though I like the idea of NaNoSloMo, I’m nervous to see how it might go for me this year.  

JUNE – “Summer Break”

In June, I take a break off of writing and focus solely on reading.

JULY – NaNoFreeMo

I’ve been doing this for a few years now and I love it. Every July for Camp NaNo I do a NaNoFreeMo (another NaNo challenge I made up). I set an achievable but challenging word goal (usually 20-40k) BUT I can write whatever I want. There are no rules. I can journal. I can write random scenes from projects that I haven’t even started. I can write ‘bla, bla, bla, bla’ a hundred times if I want to. It’s a total free for all based on how I happen to feel that day. No thinking of publishing, readers, industry trends, NONE OF IT. No one ever has to read what you write during NaNoFreeMo. I can write whatever thing I want to during July. And it’s so great.

AUGUST – “Summer Edit Blitz”

Back to the grind. Same as the spring edit blitz. Trying to get things ready for the following month.

SEPTEMBER – “Sendtember”

This is the month where I start submitting things. Usually, it’s a good month for agents and such as they’re also coming back from their summer breaks. I don’t have to send to lit agents though. I can send short stories or articles WHATEVER. But I must send something. Or as much as I have ready during the month of September.

OCTOBER – “Preptober”

Prepping for NaNo, obviously. But doesn’t have to be that exclusively. I think it would be really great to have a few outlines prepared for the following year if possible. And if that’s not really possible, I also feel like this is a good time to prep for Holidays as well as writing.

NOVEMBER – “NaNoWriMo”

National Novel Writing Month. 50k words in the month of November. I highly recommend this if you are just now stumbling onto monthly challenges or are looking for a way to further your book. It’s just a whole lot of fun!

DECEMBER – “Winter Break”

I’ve worked hard all year. It’s time for another writing break (with reading assignments).

When I had all the challenges written out, I sat back, looked at it and… felt GREAT. Like if a boss had handed me this annual work schedule, I would feel that boss was being very reasonable and kind but also productive. I was my best own boss!

If you end up trying any of these or have any other tips and ideas for months, please leave a comment as I would be really curious to see what other authors do as well!

How to Lengthen and Structure Scenes: The Rainbow Technique

I am a terrible underwriter. I would spend months planning a novel only to have it come out to thirty thousand words. EVERY SINGLE TIME. One time as part of a writing conference I had an industry professional examine my work and they gave me 10/10 for voice… 2/10 for pacing. Yeah, I mean, not surprising. I write like the impatient level 5 tornado that I am. So I did a lot of soul searching. Spoke to my higher self. And this technique popped into my mind like the godsend that it was.

And I am going to share it with you, dear writer. Because this has absolutely saved my writing life.

I call it “The Rainbow Technique”. And it’s a way to structure individual scenes.

The idea of The Rainbow Technique is that you can structure an individual scene using the seven colors of the rainbow. First, you figure out your three primary colors. Which would be the three major components of a scene: The set-up, the conflict and the resolution. (If you prefer, you can think of it in Dwight V. Swain’s phrasing, “goal, conflict, disaster”.) For the sake of this technique and rainbow imagery, the three parts of a scene are assigned these colors:

Red – The set-up (the character’s goal)

Yellow – The conflict

Blue – The resolution (or disaster)

But of course, those aren’t the only colors of a rainbow. There are colors in between. For whatever reason, this is the imagery that helped me to appropriately slow down my scenes. You need red, yellow, blue but you also have orange, green and purple. Just as you need a set-up, conflict and resolution, you also need moments in between that transition and build.

So therefore, “a rainbow structure” could look something like this:

Red – The set-up

Orange – Lead up to the conflict

Yellow – The conflict

Green – Lead up to the resolution

Blue – The resolution

Indigo – Character’s emotional reaction

Violet – Character makes a plan for the next scene

Note that the scene doesn’t end at the resolution. It’s a resolution of the conflict but the character still needs to react and act to whatever happened. This is called “a sequence” and it’s very helpful to readers to connect with your character.

The idea of “lead ups” might be kind of weird to grasp at first, so I’ll give you an example of how to use this technique to rewrite a scene that’s too short.

A skimpy scene I might write could be something along the lines of:

Sir Gallant arrived with his men to the castle and knocked on the door. Suddenly, an enormous red dragon burst through the wood, sending shards flying around Sir Gallant’s men. “Retreat!” someone cried as a stream of roaring fire blew through the dragon’s mouth. The knights mounted their bucking horses and retreated to the hills. The men sought shelter in a cave. “We will have to figure another way in,” Sir Gallant said panting and wiping his brow.

Okay let’s take that scene and expand on it using the rainbow technique.

So, first we’re going to have a set up (RED).

In the skimpy version my set up is “Sir Gallant arrived with his men…” But how did they arrive? What did they look like as they arrived? What did the horses’ hoofs sound like? Was the ground muddy or rocky? The set up is all about painting the scene and tone. Take time here to give us as many sensory details as you can.

Next, we’ll have a lead up to the conflict. We’re not having the conflict yet, we’re just going to allude or foreshadow the fact that we are about to face some conflict (ORANGE).

I always first draft my conflict into this Hollywood jump scare. AND THEN THE DRAGON BURST THROUGH THE DOOR KABOOOOM! AND THEN SUDDENLY HE LOST CONTROL AND YELLED AT HER.  Buuuut. These moments are much much more impactful if you build tension and alert the readers that the goal might not be accomplished. For example, let’s say that when Sir Gallant arrives at the castle, they don’t knock on the door right away. Let’s write that it’s eerily quiet. Maybe the horses act nervous and stop. And then there’s a dialogue between Sir Gallant and his right-hand man, wondering why there’s no one manning the gate. Maybe they notice there isn’t a single voice to be heard. Not even bird song. With “ORANGE” we’re basically cueing the audience that something is wrong. We’re about to be met with a problem.  

Now, the real conflict (YELLOW)

The dragon bursts through. Details, details, details! In all your “primary color” segments you must add lots of sensory details. Hollow knock on the tall castle door. Wispy white smoke billowing from the crack underneath. Not just what the dragon looks like, but what he smells like. What his roar sounds like.

We’re not going to have a resolution right away. We’re going to do the same that we did before and bridge the two elements together. This character WANTS this goal. They will FIGHT this conflict. Show that they want it, don’t let them accept defeat so easily. (GREEN)

In the skimpy version we had the men retreating pretty quickly. But in this edited version, Sir Galland is not going to allow that to happen right away. We’re going to have ‘Stand your ground, men!’ and the sound of swords clanging. Certainly, we’re going to have some minor characters killed in this moment. Maybe a young man that Sir Galland had interacted with earlier. Either way, this is going to take a LOT to get him to back down. It’s going to take his right-hand-man pleading and begging him to retreat before he leaves.

Then they are forced to accept the resolution (BLUE)

Back through the woods and to the caves. You can mirror this section with the “red section” to showcase the change. Are the horses hoofs softer now that there are fewer? Is the once dry and rocky forest now smoldering and raining ash?

Now we’re not done quite yet! The character has to have a reaction and show how this resolution has affected them! (INDIGO)

We need a moment for Sir Galland to angrily throw his helmet onto the ground. Or quietly ask his right hand man “How many were lost?”. This all depends on your individual character and how this particular conflict would feel for them.

Then what is the plan? What is the hint for the next scene? If we see this proactive character formulating a plan it will keep us turning the page to see if they do indeed get this goal! (VIOLET)

Sir Galland gathers his men and explains they can no longer get into the castle through the gate or over the walls, so they’ll have to make a plan to go under the dragon. Then he asks his right-hand man where they can get shovels.

That is just a quick example of what I’ve been doing, but it’s been really effective! I personally give myself a word minimum of 300 for each color. That has extended each of my “scenes” into 2,000+ words a piece. Which makes them better suited for chapters. It works the best for me, because my previous drafting of 30k word novellas can easily be turned into appropriate length novels without having to add major changes to the plot or subplots. (Usually)

This technique helps with both plotting or editing. If you do give it a go, please let me know. I would be curious if this helps other underwriters!