You are a Squid

You are a squid.

An intelligent being crawling on the bottom of the darkest ocean.

The only light you’ve ever known are the speckles of the bioluminescent plankton.

You cannot comprehend the sunlight. The days. An entire world above you surrounded by constant light.

You are a squid.

You are surviving. Hunting. Sleeping. Camoflouging.

You cannot comprehend that there are other intelligent beings physically separated from you.

Other intelligent beings who have built a civilization and harnessed the light. Beings who effect your ocean for better and worse.

The only difference between you and the squid is that one day you will conquer the pressure of the deep and see the surface.

One day you will know sunlight. You will see the things beyond your comprehension. Beyond your deep sea.

You will rise above the waters and feel warmth for the first time.

But for now, you are a squid.

Take comfort, Little One. You will not drown. The bottom is not forever.

How an Adult Sticker Chart Saved My Productive Life

I swear by this. This was a huge game changer.

If you follow me on any social media platform you may have noticed that once a month I post a sticker chart/calendar on my stories (fully completed nbd). And if you know me in real everyday life then you’ve already heard me blather on about this method and you can politely disregard this blog post.

But I am not kidding when I say, THIS WORKS SO HARD FOR ME. Maybe it would work so hard for you too. Maybe it wouldn’t. Am I still going to write an entire post about it? You BETCHA BOTTOM DOLLAR LIL ORPHAN ANNIE.

THE STICKER CHART

This is what I do. In order to earn a sticker, I have two goals a day. STRICTLY TWO. (Trust me on this. I have been developing this method for two years. And the first year was me over-trying and failing.)
The two goals are these:

  • Scratch one item off my to-do list
  • Spend 25 minutes cleaning an area of my house.

That doesn’t seem like much, but WHEN I TELL YOU!!! Consistency vs. Baddie superhuman hustler burnout. Consistency is going to win every time. Fact.

Here are the specifics about the two goals…

THE TO-DO LIST

I’ve mentioned it before, but monthly challenges work really well for me for some reason. 30 days is the perfect amount of time before I get tired and bored and want a change. So, personally, I make a new to-do list every single month.

It’s a list of 30-31 tasks (one for each day of the month). Now, the trick of the to-do list is having a good variety of tasks. You want to have both challenging hours-long chores AND chores that you could do in a minute or two. Some days you’re going to have more energy / resources for organizing the entire garage and other days you’re going to be sick in bed and only have enough energy to order your kids school pictures from your phone. You’re going to want BOTH. And the beautiful thing about the to-do list is you can pick and choose what you’re up for that particular day. Which does mean that you’ll put off most of your “yuckiest” tasks until the end of the month. But it weirdly works out because you’re so close to getting a brand new to-do list next month.

Obviously, you’re going to have more than 30 tasks you’ll need to do in a month. I get that. This list is more like things you’ve been ‘meaning to get around to’ or things you’re ‘anticipating you need to get done that month’. For example, when I put together my list I have a good mix of organizing/cleaning tasks, holiday tasks, and writing goals.

I use Google Keep Notes on my phone so I have my list with me everyday.

DAILY 25 MINUTES OF CLEANING

I settled on 25 minutes because that’s what they use for the ‘pomodoro technique’ and it’s supposedly the most optimal time for productivity. (I mean, it’s been working for me!)

So this is a little different than the cleaning tasks on the to-do list. This is reserved for general upkeep of your home. Picking up, vacuuming, wiping off counters Etc. Etc. Doing 25 minutes a day doesn’t feel like it makes a difference at first, but once you keep up with it, it really does keep up your house fairly well!
I have a general schedule in my mind when I do my daily 25. (Mondays- kitchen. Tuesdays – bedrooms. Wednesdays – Bathrooms. Thursdays – upstairs. Fridays – downstairs. Weekends – laundry.) But I’m not strict about that schedule. Sometimes your kids make a disaster of the playroom and you need to focus on that room. So I usually just do my 25 focusing on what room needs the most work that day.
One sad note about this: I tried so hard to make dishes work into this routine, but soon discovered that I had to do dishes separate. I made doing dishes part of our bed time routine and just plan on it every day. It’s the only way I can keep up on them.

THE MOST IMPORTANT PART

The real reason this works so well for me is because… all my life… I have just really fudgin’ loved stickers so much. AHAHAHAHAHA

Whenever I explain to someone that I use my wall calendar as an adult sticker chart, they’re like,
“So what do you get at the end of the month if you fill your chart?”
And I’m like, “What do you mean?”
“I mean like what do you reward yourself with?”
“… I reward myself with the stickers.”
“Yeah, I know, but like… do you get a treat at the end? Do you buy yourself something?”
“Yeah! I buy more stickers.”
The cuter the stickers the more determined I am to get work done, because I refuse to have one single blank space on my calendar. So I curate the most darling and interesting stickers I can find.

SO !!!!! If you have skimmed this post and are just now getting to this part PLEASE READ!!!

Whatever you end up doing for motivation, it doesn’t have to be a sticker chart, but it absolutely MUST be something that delights your inner child. Utilize what you LOVED as a child and it will work. If you loved video games, reward yourself with X number of minutes playing your favorite game. If you loved to draw, add to a drawing everyday until it’s completed in a month.

Your ego will resist this. And you’ll have to sit it down and say, “Look Ego, I understand that you think it’s silly for a thirty-four-year-old woman to have a sticker chart. But sometimes this thirty-four-year-old woman needs nine-year-old little girl things to fulfill all the parts of herself.”

You are the parent of your inner child. Be kind. Be patient. Be encouraging.

8 Minimal Effort Meal Ideas

Hey. It’s October. Holidays season is coming up. Plus NaNo season if you participate in that. It’s a busy time for everyone! So I compiled a short list of my favorite no-effort to minimal-effort meals that you can whip together on a busy working day.

This ravioli with a jar of spaghetti sauce

I don’t know why it took me so long to discover Rana raviolis, but these things are life savers! I keep a bunch of them frozen and make them for lunch on heavy writing days. They only take five minutes to boil and one package is pretty hardy. You can feed two people or eat it all yourself (you might want to, it’s really good.)

These croissants with deli chicken salad

These are so good to have on hand. Premade croissants and premade chicken salad. Nothing you have to make yourself other than putting one of those ingredients on the other haha

Tortilla chips with a can of tuna

Hear me out, I know this sounds really gross, but it’s honestly so good! You could do mayonnaise with the tuna or not. Either way tastes great.

Pre-made pinwheels

These saved my post-partum life guys! These are TRULY zero-effort meals. You don’t even have to warm them up, you can just pull and eat them straight out of the refrigerator.

Frozen mixed veggies with this jar of Tikka masala sauce

Warm up the veggies in the sauce. That’s it. That’s all you have to do.

Hummus and Naan dippers or pita bread

A naan-effort meal

This Home Chef Chicken Street Taco Kit from Kroger

The chicken one specifically.

This Cajun pasta platter from Chili’s

Okay, but bro, hear me out again haha. This To-Go platter is the perfect meal to eat off for the rest of the week. It’s the only thing I know of that tastes better the longer it marinates in your fridge. So it’s basically meal prep, is what I’m saying.

If anyone else has any other ideas please feel free to share in the comments! Let’s all embrace an easier way to lunch.