Kids Say the Darndest Things (June 2023)

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JACK: Hey, Mom. *puts his glasses on his forehead* My brain’s looking at you.

ME: This was from my grandpa. But he passed away.

JACK: Oh that’s so sad.

CASEY: Oh no, why did your grandpa skip away?

JACK: (pointing to a bottle of Gatorade) Can I have some of that Gator Raider?

Casey constantly says, “I’m four my old!” because he legitimately thinks we’re saying that he’s a ‘four your old’.

Picking up kids from school.

Jack’s friend EM: (bluntly) It smells like poop in here.

JACK: I would say it smells more like a stylish soap.

I was trying to sweep under the table when Casey rushed over and took the broom from me.

CASEY: Don’t worry! Casey’s here!… (to himself under his breath) there’s nothing that I can’t do.

I got after the boys for pestering the baby too much and then Jack yelled,

JACK: Then you need to stop bringing her over here to us because otherwise we can’t stop being rude to her or being her best friend! She’s too cute!

I put on Casey’s rain jacket and zipped it halfway.

ME: Okay now you can go outside.

CASEY: I’m not ready. There’s still more zipping to do!

JACK: *loses at his video game* CHICKEN NUGGETS!

ME: Singing Let It Be. When I find myself in times of trouble. Mother Mary comes to me. Speaking words of wisdom. Let it be.

CASEY: *gasps* That’s like MY mommy!

ME: Ah baby! That’s so sweet!

CASEY: Like when she helps me when I poo poo in my pants and I’m sad. And she tells me it’s gonna be okay.

My Novella Is Now Out and I am TERRIFIED

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Hello! Seventeen Trips Around the Sun is out on Amazon and that is CRAZY to me! It’s been such an intense experience putting myself out there and needless to say, I’m incredibly nervous to see what everyone is going to think of this silly thing I created. (And how many readers are going to notice that I accidentally wrote “The Weekend” instead of “The Weeknd”.)

This book is a project that I worked on a long time ago. I wrote most of it when I was pregnant with my second. So, there is a definite insecurity knowing that I’m putting something out that’s five years behind my current writing level and style. But I hope you guys like it! At the very least I hope it makes you guys laugh.

Cover Reveal!

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Here it is! Here is the amazing cover of my novella, debuting in the summer.

And here is the full artwork because you NEED to appreciate it with me!

And this is a blurb about the book…

There’s only one thing worse than pooping yourself on a date with the prettiest girl in your grade… finding out that your dad is making you spend your summer working at “Mike’s Hole”.

Painfully introverted Rob wants nothing more than to hibernate the entire summer alone in his room. His Dad, however, plans to drag him away from his computer at all costs and surprises him with a full time job. Now, Rob is stuck working at his uncle’s gross diner with a psycho manager who treats her employees like reality show contestants. Unable to quit under the micromanaging eye of his family, his summer is doomed forever.

… Until he meets the girl who turns everything upside down.

SEVENTEEN TRIPS AROUND THE SUN releases on Amazon this June the 1st!