First and foremost, this is REAL Americanized okay. I tried my best!
I did a little activity with my family in January that I thought I would share! I called it “21 Days Around the World”. Each night we “travelled” to a new place somewhere in the world, had a dinner inspired by that location and then watched a Disney movie or show that takes place there. That’s it. It was simple, but really fun! My oldest is very interested in Geography so it was great to involve his interest and involve the whole family.
If you’re interested in doing something similar or just curious where we “travelled to”. Here are the pages from the little flipbook I made for the “journey”:
And no, I’m not talking about the Scorpio who broke my heart in the 10th grade, but yeah, that freaking stung too, thanks.
The Arizona Bark Scorpion. Well, well, well… if it isn’t the little Satan bug itself.
First off, I have a really lovely house. I generally enjoy living in the sweltering desert of the East Valley. But what I don’t enjoy is being POISONED by arachnids in the comfort of my own home.
Our house was built on top of an old orange grove, which sure, it’s nice having a fruit tree in my back yard. But that also came with a neighborhood infestation of scorpions. And like, you can spray your yard all you want but those suckers crawl up the cinder-block walls. And if you have a neighbor behind you that cannot even be bothered to pick up his dog’s poop for months on end, you can rest assured that a handful of scorpions will find their way onto your property at night.
But no big deal, we bought a black light and we do a nightly patrol. And it’s been all cool, man.
And this one RANDOM afternoon.
My oldest had just got home from school and we were in the basement watching TV when suddenly my poor, worse-luck four-year-old SCREAMS and grabs his toe. So, as the kind-hearted and understanding mother that I am, I’m thinking, ‘Kid stubbed his toe and he’s being way over-dramatic about it’.
I try to assess the situation and calm him down. And right as I kneel down to get a better look at his foot. I feel this sharp prick on the side of my inner leg, just above my knee. So, I jolted away and looked at the carpet, legitimately thinking that I had just knelt on a pin. And then I saw that sucker… and when I tell you… the absolute GOOSEBUMPS that you get when you watch a spider scurrying away is NOTHING compared to the sight of a freaking Arizona Bark Scorpion slithering itself underneath your couch.
My scream was blood curdling. I yelled some curse words in front of the kids. I stood in the middle of the room on one leg, saying, “What do I do? What do I do? What do I do?”
“Call Dad!” my oldest yelled.
Dad! Right! An adult! An actual adult, not a pretend adult like I am. I called Daniel to report that half his family had just been stung by a venomous creature which was still alive and inside the actual house. I’m sure he loved getting that phone call lol.
Well, he didn’t know what to do either. WE’RE NOT FROM HERE, OKAY! WE DIDN’T GROW UP BLACK LIGHT HUNTING AMONGST THE CACTI! WE WERE NOT PREPARED FOR THIS EVENT! He told me to take our son to Urgent Care. And I agreed because children under six are more at risk for scorpion sting complications. SO AT LEAST WE KNEW THAT.
FUN FACT / PSA: If you or your loved one are stung by an Arizona Bark Scorpion, you can just call poison control. You do not have to spend hundreds of dollars suffering at an urgent care clinic. A tip that we did NOT get until we were already inside the patient room with the doctor. (Gee, thanks a lot)
FUN FACT / PSA: Probably don’t drive if a scorpion has just stung you on your leg. Because the venom will spread and spasm your muscles. And it will hurt like a b*tch. And you’ll be punching your steering wheel and crying the entire drive because you didn’t know life could be like this.
Yeah, I don’t know why but by the time we got to the clinic my four-year-old? Totally fine. Like nothing happened. Like as if he wasn’t just injected with a neurotoxin. (Thus the magic of children anytime you take them to a doctor’s appointment of any kind.) I, on the other hand, am trying to fill out patient paperwork while doing the freaking stanky leg at the check-in counter.
Daniel met us at the urgent care so that we could both get the news that no one was dying, it just sucked was all. But we still had a major problem. I SAW THAT YUCKY BUG CRAWL UNDER THE COUCH. THAT THING WAS STILL INSIDE OUR HOME.
Rather than listing our house for sell immediately, Daniel suggested we wait for nightfall and then find it via blacklight. So, we went out to eat at Red Robin lmao. That was both a genius and stupid decision, because after sitting for two hours the venom actually pooled behind my knee so walking to the van after dinner was like walking with an icy-hot bear trap clamped around my leg. But hay, this girl got her bottomless steak fries so, like, was it really that bad of a day though? #notasponsor
It was dark when we got home, so Dan was able to find it with the black light and kill it. On the floor of our basement. Why? How did it get there? I would also like to point out that this isn’t even the first time in my life I’ve been stung like this. When I was nine, I knelt down to color a picture and a WASP stung me on the knee. INSIDE on the CARPET. Buddies, WTF are you guys doing there? I refuse to kneel down now. I’m just going to squat every time.
I will say though, I am actually thankful that I knelt on it, because otherwise I wouldn’t have known it was in the house or why my kid was crying. The clout is also sorta cool, not gonna lie. Saw the Arizona Bark Scorpion episode of the Kings of Pain and laughed so hard thinking of how calm my preschooler was compared to these guys. I’ll post it below so you can feel like you watched a little reenactment.
Today my daughter is nine months old and has been officially “out as long as she’s been in”. So I thought it would be really fun to recount her birth story. Idk why, but I’m always fascinated to hear about everyone’s birth stories. I think it’s morbid curiosity. Like road kill. I just wanna look real quick. “How bad was it for you? Ooh really and then what went wrong?” If you’re not into that, I get it. And if you are, I get it!
So my labor and delivery story with Andie Jean is WEIRD. I was so smarmy going into it, thinking this is my third rodeo and that I would know exactly what to expect. NOPE.
The contractions started on a Monday and these were no Braxton Hicks tickles, this was the real deal. At least that’s what I thought. They would come on and become very painful and regular. 5 minutes apart, lasting a minute each. But then they would go away? Honestly, I had never heard of preterm labor like this until I had it myself.
After the first 24 hours of these contractions that go nowhere I called my doctor’s office. “Hi. I think I’m in labor?” So they told me to come in and get checked. My doctor said I was at a three. Which kinda seemed like I was in labor, but also maybe not? She stripped my membranes and I just went home and hoped for the best.
I labored all night and into the next day. Going from okay this is seriously it get the hospital bags to wait never mind they went away. I had NEVER had a labor this confusing. With my boys it was totally straight forward. Pains. Hospital. Push. But this girl couldn’t make up her mind!
Our babysitter came over Tuesday night just in case and Daniel and I walked aimlessly around the neighborhood until eleven or twelve at night. Finally I just got sick of it and told everyone to go to bed.
I had that weirdo start and stop labor all night and into the next day. Finally Wednesday evening I decided just to go into the hospital. By all accounts they were hospital worthy labor pains. Five minutes apart, lasting a minute for a full hour. And sometimes so painful I couldn’t talk or breathe during.
Dan and I got to the hospital at around four or so. We left the suitcase in our car because the labor had stopped again and I was pretty sure they were going to send me home. But when the nurses checked me, I was at a five. They didn’t know what to do either. They said they didn’t dare send me home if I was already at a five with my third child but my contractions mysteriously stopped. (Which I was embarrassed about, but like why though? Haha idk. It’s not like I could control them)
They told me to walk around the hospital a bit. Which didn’t surprise me, because that’s what happened with Casey. Except with Casey the labor progressed instantly when I walked around. This time it started, stopped and then hurt but “not in a productive way” is how I phrased it to Dan.
They checked me again and I was at a six. Which sorta weirded me out because that should be pretty active labor but I had no contractions and I felt pretty “normal”. Because I was so far along they told me that “I could stay and have my baby”.
I got checked in and moved into a birthing sweet at around 7 or so. Since they were starting me on Pitocin I asked if I could have an epidural at the same time. (The prospect of never feeling active labor was pretty encouraging). The epidural went okay. Not perfect like with Jack, but not horrific like with Casey. Just a lot of pressure pain and patience as they tried to get it in right. They did confirm that my spine was crooked like the other anesthesiologist said. But they said it was because the baby was pushing on it from the inside! Mothers are TOUGH dude.
So I laid in bed with an epidural and Pitocin, the nurse said, “Just go to bed and then wake up and have a baby.” So I slept a little. But that baby was not coming. 8pm. 9pm. 10pm. 11pm. Midnight. Slowest progression ever. 1am. 2am. 3am. 4am. I went from a 6 to an 8 on like 10 hours of Pitocin. The nurses called the doctor in the middle of the night like “What do you want us to do here?” I was wondering if it would end up in a C section. But the doctor told them to stop Pitocin for half an hour and then try again.
At 5am I was exhausted and in tears. I was DONE. I had been laboring for 60+ hours and I just felt like I couldn’t handle anymore. I was in sweats, clutching the sides of the bed, cursing and saying I couldn’t do it anymore. It was that moment I told Dan my deepest fear… “What if I resented this child because of the difficult pregnancy and labor I had been through?”
Dan was a great partner, listening to my concerns and validating all my feelings. But right as I was having a melt down I suddenly felt a pain. An intense contraction. As if I had no epidural at all. I started bawling harder. Another contraction worse than the last one. I hit the nurse’s call like a giant NOPE button. I was not about to feel labor right at the worst of it.
They gave me a shot of fentanyl and some kind of adrenaline booster. And that gave me the strength to keep going. Some of the pain I figured out (and this is super weird) was that the contractions were crushing the baby into my ribcage. And I’m not saying this to be dramatic but I legitimately felt that my ribs were going to crack. Like the pain and pressure against my ribs was so bad I felt it through the epidural and the fentanyl.
The biggest problem was that my water wouldn’t break. It was in the middle of the night and no doctor would come in and break my water and the nurses couldn’t do it either. My labor nurse kept saying, “If your water would break that baby would come right out.” BUT IT NEVER FREAKING BROKE!
I waited in agony and then finally right at 7 am my doctor walked in to break it. I think I started crying at the sight of her. She broke my water and then announced she was going to see some other patients in recovery. But as soon as she left I had an ENORMOUS amount of pressure. She basically walked out just to walk right back in and deliver my baby.
I think I only pushed maybe five or six times. I had to stop pushing half way through because she had the chord wrapped around her neck. Not sure whether I should mention this or not, but as she was coming out and starting to crown she actually was moving her head around! All the nurses and everyone in the delivery room was like WOOOOOOAAAAAH LOOK AT THAT as they’re staring at me wide-legged. So that was… a life experience I guess.
Another big set of pushes and bloop there she was. They set her on my chest and I swear from the moment I looked at her face I knew I would not resent this child like I had worried. I felt her spirit. What she was like and who she was. I had an instant bond with my little girl. My Andie Jean. And I was so happy. The months I had agonized through to bring her here were worth it for that moment.
So I really wouldn’t trade anything, since I love the person that came from it so much.
PS I will also add that even though I had a crazy long labor, I recovered insanely quickly. I was up walking around not too long after and had minimal postpartum problems. Crazy how bodies work especially with birth.
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