Category: Reviews

It’s a Wonderful Wife

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Well, tis the season for me to talk about something that I have no business being so passionate about. And that something is Mary Hatch Bailey from the movie ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’.

Disclaimer: If you haven’t seen the movie this blog post will not make any sense. Also shame on you, it’s such a classic! You really ought to consider watching it! Just keep in mind that George really isn’t the hero, okay. I’m going to tell you right now that the real hero is Mary. Mary carries the movie, dude. She is the one who saves everybody in every situation and does everything. And I feel that for decades, audiences have unappreciated her as much as George Bailey unappreciated her throughout the movie.

Remember when Black Friday hits and everybody’s running on the bank and they’re about to all go under? Do you know who saved the day? It was Mary. Mary was the one who gave up her honeymoon and all their money. It was Mary’s idea. And did she cry about her own wedding day being ruined? No, she did not. She went out, got them a house, improvised her own honeymoon. Made a full rotisserie chicken over the fireplace, like who is this woman???

So that’s number one. Number two is a spoiler alert because I got to talk about the end of the movie, but Mary is the one who saves George’s a$$. She’s the one who finds out what’s going on, makes a plan, runs around the town asking people for help. That was all Mary! You know what? She was even the one who was like, “Yeah kids, you ought to pray for your dad.” So I’m even going to go as far as to say that the angel actually came from Mary. Mary Bailey, the real angel of the story who could have bust her own large feathery wings when the bell jingles on the Christmas tree in the end.

She saves everybody. She singlehandedly reconstructs an entire abandoned Victorian mansion while having four kids and helping the war effort.

I once knew somebody that disliked Mary. And maybe the reason I became passionate about the subject was because of this one conversation that I had 15 years ago. But this person said that she was a weak character because and I quote, “all she wanted to do was get married”. Okay, excuse me, then how come if George Bailey is never born she decides not to get married at all? Riddle me that piece of information, sir. I just completely disagree with you fifteen plus years later. She gets a college degree. She is a talented cartoonist. You really can’t tell me anything bad about her.

And in fact, I would just like to say that the part where she “became an old maid” makes me laugh every year. I just know those writers were like, “Now how would Mary be worse off without George?” AND THEY COULDN’T THINK OF ANYTHING. The WORST thing that these men writers could think of was, “Okay what if she was a hot single librarian at 35? That would be so tragic.” Like, okay sure. It still makes her a strong as hell character in my opinion, because she had the opportunity to marry hee haw millionaire Sam Wainwright and said no against her mother’s obvious wishes.

DOES THAT SOUND LIKE A CHARACTER WHO “ONLY WANTS TO GET MARRIED”???

So, this is my official petition to rename the movie to, “It’s a Wonderful Wife” because I don’t even know what the story would be without Mary.

Utah Vs. Arizona

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Seven years ago when my husband and I were preparing to move to Arizona, we were looking everywhere for information on what it would be like compared to where we already lived: Utah. At one point we clicked on a YouTube video that was titled “The differences of Arizona and Utah” and it ended up LITERALLY being a thirty second video of a guy saying, “They’re about the same”. Lol

Well, now that I’ve had a decent handful of years in both states, I decided that I’m going to be that blog post that I was searching for in the spring of 2018. So I know this is a super niche post, but yeah it is what it is.

SO HERE ARE THE DIFFERENCES BETWEEN UTAH AND ARIZONA

(also no real organization. Just writing whatever comes to mind)

Whenever I visit Utah and relatives ask me about Arizona, they only want to talk to me about the heat haha. And I guess that’s everyone’s first consideration about Arizona is how hot living in the middle of a cactus forest is.

So yeah, it’s hot. And summertime is bunkering down into survival mode honestly. I’ve said this before (which is also a good post about AZ) but the heat is very similar to when you have to bend down and pull cookies out of the oven. But it’s only when you go outside. The weird part that I never really hear people other than Arizonans talk about, is that during the summer here in the valley EVERYWHERE (stores / vendors / businesses) is completely REFRIGERATED inside. It’s really bizarre. Because it’s 120 degrees outside, but the AC is pumped SO HARD inside Texas Roadhouse that you’re shivering lol. I’ve literally seen people walk into the grocery store in the dead of Arizona summer and bring their jackets with them.
It’s sort of weird though, okay. Because during the summer you’re in the constant extreme temperature changes and it’s bursts of refreshing feels. Like, I don’t know how else to explain this? You’ll walk from your car into the doctor’s office sweating like crazy and then as soon as you get into the building you’re like “Ahhhhh that feels amazing.” And then by the time you get out into the heat from the serious AC you’re like, “Ahhhh that feels amazing.” Hahaha!

As far as compared to Utah. It’s the same as the winter, just opposite timing. In the wintertime you stay indoors. And here in the summer you stay indoors. That’s pretty much it. Utah winters, it’s a pain in the ass to scrape your car, shovel your driveway and navigate I-15 in the snow. And Arizona summers, it’s a pain to touch your steering wheel when you get into your sunny car. Literally a pain. But other than the super sweaty car seat, I don’t think the maintenance of the heat is quite as bad as the maintenance of the snow. That’s my opinion of living here. Like, yeah you might have to turn on your AC and cool your car down. But it’s not like you have to turn your car on to warm it up and also physically dig it out of the ice to get to work. I don’t know. So in my personal opinion, I think the Arizona summers aren’t quite as challenging as Utah winters. As far as maintenance or commuting. Like if you WANT to take family pictures you really could year round. Whereas in Utah it’s a little more challenging to do that around the weather.

If you are familiar with Utah and their cities and you’re wondering which area of Arizona you want to move to (at least in the Phoenix / East Valley), I can tell you what compares. I would say Mesa is comparable to West Valley or Layton. And Gilbert is just Provo basically. Like I’ve seen more BYU bumper stickers in Gilbert than in Provo itself, if that gives you some idea. Scottsdale is like Park City, it’s beautiful and got cool things to see but unless you’re a professional baseball player I don’t see how you could afford to live there. Phoenix equals Salt Lake. That one’s easy. Apache Junction is like Vernal if it got overrun by a fentynal zombie apocalypse.

Okay, so if you’re on the fence about moving to Arizona from Utah. I’ve created a little quiz to help you decide:

QUESTION ONE: Can you eat a plate of fries without fry sauce? if the answer is no, stay in Utah.

QUESTION TWO: How many golf courses do you need within a 2 mi radius? Because if the answer is more than three, you want to be in Arizona.

QUESTION THREE: Do you like the color beige? If the answer is no, stay in Utah.

QUESTION FOUR: Do you need trees to breathe or can you get oxygen from turf?

QUESTION FIVE: Would you rather maintain a pool or shovel the driveway?

QUESTION SIX: Would you rather scrape ice off of your windshield with a credit card or have a pair of oven mitts in your car just in case you need to drive somewhere in the summer?

QUESTION SEVEN: Would you rather have an incredible 4th of July at a park with soft grass you can actually sit on? Or have a magical Halloween day where you don’t need a jacket over your costume and everyone’s outside on their driveway actually participating in trick or treating?

QUESTION EIGHT: Would you rather experience a full four (winter, spring, summer and fall) season? Or just a two (“Arrakis Hell” and “Snowbird”) season?

QUESTION NINE: Scorpions or Black Widows? It doesn’t matter, Arizona has both.

QUESTION TEN: Do you have a hobby of skiing or snowboarding? If yes, that’s fine we have Flagstaff.

QUESTION ELEVEN: Do you generally go 40 miles over the speed limit in any condition or street? If the answer is yes, welcome to Arizona.

My Most Unpopular Opinion: I Neither Hated Nor Loved Barbie

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It was just a’ight.

DISCLAIMER #1: Because this movie is so “cOntRoVErsiAL”, I want to clarify right off the bat that this is not a political commentary on this film in any way. Any critiques that I may or may not share is based solely on the storytelling that was presented.

DISCLAIMER #2: I’m going to be sharing spoilers. So if you haven’t seen the movie and are wanting to see the movie, you have now been adequately warned.

Positives first. I had a lot of fun watching this film. A lot of the jokes hit me just right and it was nice seeing something so original. Initially, I felt that the storyline with the Kens oppression in Barbieland was such a smart and funny commentary on the toy line. I distinctly remember playing ‘Stupid Ken’ with my sister, where Barbie would repeatedly reject his proposals. So for the most part it accurately portrayed my experiences growing up and playing with Barbies. Acting was great, sets were perfect, Margot Robbie’s wigs were immaculate.

So, this is why I only liked it and not loved it.

Barbie has two storylines. Storyline A is that Barbie suddenly develops an existential crisis and travels to the ‘real world’ to find out who has been playing with her. Storyline B is that Ken’s identity revolves around Barbie until he discovers that men rule the ‘real world’. In my opinion, both of these storylines are good. My biggest problem is that after the midpoint, Storyline B becomes Storyline A and then Storyline A just pilfers out of existence. Everything that is set up in the first half of the movie is magically solved for no reason. “And now Gloria’s daughter is totally fine with Barbie and has a relationship with her mother again.” “And now the Mattel executives pose no real threat to anyone.” “And now no one has an existential crisis anymore.”

What happened to Storyline A??? It was so strong but then there was hardly any follow through. In my personal opinion, Storyline A was the stronger of the two. Barbie was the PERFECT medium for that story! A perfect doll with everything she could ever want decides to become ‘real’ because the ups and downs of life are more fulfilling. I thought that was an insanely beautiful message. The scene where she sits on the bench and examines all the imperfections and nuances of the real world made me cry! (Don’t lie. You cried when she saw an elderly lady for the first time and said that she was beautiful. Admit it.)

But then Greta filed it away. It was like she never-minded the whole storyline. I mean, yeah, “I’m Just a Ken” was fun, but not fun enough to completely derail the story. Patriarchy already takes over everything in my womanly life, why does it have to have my fun Barbie movie too? And speaking of the word ‘patriarchy’ lol. Like I get that was supposed to be the humor of the film and I laughed the first time it was said (“Barbie, why didn’t you tell me about patriarchy?”). But if you drank every time they said the word ‘patriarchy’ after that you would be in the hospital getting your stomach pumped. Everything was SO on the nose like that. When America Ferrara went into her speech I felt like I was reading a Twitter thread or something. It wasn’t any new information for me. Girl, I know the expectations for women are impossible, please tell me how to accept my fear of death and cellulite.

And honestly, despite the thematic pounding I still enjoyed that storyline. I’m not trying to take away Ken’s Mojo Dojo Casa House, I just wanted it to remain B storyline, you know? Like y’all got me invested in this mother-daughter, existential crisis, flat foot, several executives riding a pink bike into Barbieland thing. In the end when they literally said, “But what about Barbie?” I was like YEAH HELLO??

So… okay… I know that script doctoring a Best Original Screenplay nomination is a ridiculously bold claim for someone who writes John Lennon fanfics… … But this is how I would have written the ending lol.

I think Sasha should have either refused to go with them or run away from Barbieland. Then Gloria would have made the decision to chase after her into the real world. Later in the film, Sasha would find her mother crying next to Barbie’s dream house in her room and holding the Mojo Dojo Casa Ken from Mattel. Sasha feels temporarily sorry for Gloria, remembering that her mother missed playing dolls with her she picks up Barbie and pretends to ask Ken why he is crying. Their conversation mirrors Barbie and Ken’s conversation in Barbieland happening at the same time. After the dual heart to heart scenes, Gloria and Ken realize that they have purpose outside of their relationship to Sasha and Barbie. They make the decision to become their own people and follow their own dreams. During the conversation, Barbie and Sasha apologize and vow to be kinder to those around them. Both Barbie and Sasha have a deep realization that they want to be real. For Sasha, putting away her meanest-girl-in-school facade to become a genuine version of herself. And for Barbie, literally real.

Then cut back to the original script where Ruth Handler’s ghost arrives for Barbie and Billie Eilish sing-whispers us out with the most beautiful song of the year.

I mean I don’t know. I guess it’s sort of nitpicky of me. Overall, I enjoyed the film just fine. Using my mom’s movie rating I would give it a C+ or a B-, which means if I were at a party and someone wanted to watch it I definitely would.

It was a’ight. Still recommend.