Haven’t I mentioned several times how sick I was with this pregnancy? Well here’s some more of that.
First trimester was the WORST. In fact the retching got so ridiculous that I started keeping a list of why in my phone. (You’re welcome. I know you wanted this.) If you don’t believe that nausea is a problem for a pregnant woman, give this a read. It will give you an idea of how hard it is to live daily life without puking during that 1st trimester.
Trigger warning… if you’re pregnant probably.
REASONS FOR THROWING UP
My son gagged on a mouthful of chicken nuggets
Saw a picture of a sweaty boxing champion and imagined how they smelled
Scrolled too fast on my phone
Touched wet Rice Krispy cereal
Ate too much
Ate too little
Tried to do the dishes
Remembered what bacon soda tasted like
Watched a review for Hungry Man Enchiladas. (That was a mistake)
When Zoe on Sesame Street said her sandwiches would taste like bologna and socks
Had to cough when I woke up, puked instead
Arie breaking up with Becca for another woman and then following her around the tiny apartment for like AN HOUR
Husband made a ratchet poop joke
Smelled my toddler’s poop
Watching Rhett and Link eat anything
Tried to put on a pair of jeans
Oven was too hot
Had to bounce to get snow off my shoes
Thought about food
In the music video 6 Underground where he drips worms out of a can. Barf
Sat up too fast
Thankfully, I’m over the worst of it. But even reading over this list… I just… it kind of… makes me… excuse me…
Hey, so it’s been a million years. Did you miss me? I basically ended up scrapping March, because my morning sickness was soooo harsh that I couldn’t even look at a non blue-light computer screen for more than 45 minutes without puking. I went from the best productivity of my entire writing life to the lyrics of “Lump” real quick.
Oh yeah, but did you catch that? I’M PREGNANT Y’ALL! BABY NUMBER TWO IS DUE IN OCTOBER!
That’s only the first announcement.
I knew 2018 would be crazy. I sensed its scent like a lion crouching in the savannah grass. I just didn’t know it would be this crazy.
Don’t get me wrong, the baby was in no way an accident, but it still was a surprise. I had been having some health issues with my ovaries and infertility runs in my family. In fact, I was scheduled to check my egg supply and some other things when bam! Turns out I’m more than fine.
I can’t think of a clever transition into the next big piece of news, so I’ll just blurt it out instead. WE’RE MOVING TO ARIZONA Y’ALL!
Dan is graduating pharmacy school in May aaaaaaand he got offered a residency position at a Banner hospital in Mesa.
I thought that I would be really scared to move far away, but it turns out that I’m actually really excited. And I can tell that I’m really excited because I do what I always do whenever I have a new adventure, or a book project, or a crush or something… which is bite my lip on baited breath waiting for someone to bring up “the thing”.
Plus not to mention the awesome job opportunities that will be available to my post-resident-doctor-husband.
YAAAAAAS
Things are good. And exciting. And also terrifying… but like a rollercoaster terrifying where you still want to ride it. I don’t know, it’s great! But it will be even better when I’m not a lump sitting alone in a boggy marsh. Now excuse me while I go toss up my lunch. 😷
PS Check out this weird Easter Egg from the photo I used for our Christmas cards…
*NOTE: Mothers who work full time are actually amazing and I admire their ability to balance that into their lives. But I DON’T ADMIRE mothers who shame other mothers and act like they are the superior beings. JANICE! This meme got me TRIGGERED
You stay at home with your kid all day? Liyke, what do you EVEN doooOOOOoooOOOoooo?
Seriously?
Alright, well, this is what my average day looks like:
8:30 Get him up and dressed.
Sometimes if I’m lucky, he’ll want to cuddle into me for a bit. I give him breakfast (which is usually waffles and cereal) and I put on Sesame street. While he’s distracted and buckled into his high chair I RUN, take a shower and get dressed for the day.
9:30 ‘No-screen-play-time’
This is usually the second most exhausting time of the day. It involves a lot of going up and down the stairs, opening and slamming doors, jumping on the bed… I have to SECURELY HIDE my phone and remotes to pull off no screen time.
11:00 Probably caving into more screen time
Around this time I’m usually like, okay… let me destroy you with more TV. Jack LOVES music videos! So he’ll usually go for that. He likes Coldplay, OK GO, Fun, Fall Out Boy, selective Taylor Swift (he’s really picky about her stuff), weird viral music videos like Gangham Style and that Pineapple Pen song.
12:00 Lunchtime!
By now I’m usually giving him a hot dog or a sandwich OR BOTH. (He eats a lot). String cheese, veggies, maybe a cookie 😉 😉
1:00 Nap
Finally! The glorious nap time! Jack is a good sleeper, so I can count on at least two to three hours. Sometimes he’ll fall asleep right away, sometimes I have to put him down like three or four times while he laughs at me.
This would be a good time to get cleaning done… you’re right. It would. BUT I try to reserve this time for writing. That way I’m working on it everyday and it’s just a way to ensure that mommy gets time for herself.
4:00 snack / hobbit dinner / outing
Like I said, he eats a TON. Dad doesn’t get home until later and I know that he won’t make it until then so I feed him when he wakes up. After he eats, this kid needs to GET OUT. Lately, it’s been freezing outside so it’s been hard finding things to do. Sometimes we visit someone. Sometimes we just straight up go to a toy store and run around. The afternoon outing is interchangeable with the morning playtime and I do that sometimes especially if grandma invites us out to lunch or something.
5:30 starting dinner, trying and failing to do a last minute clean before dad gets home
This is the hardest part of the day. I’m running around like a zombie while Jack is pawing at my legs and crying because I’m not playing with him. Aaaargggh! Sometimes I leave my phone on the floor at my feet so he can have a go, but then he usually tries to video chat random contacts in my phone.
6:30 Dan is home and we have dinner together
I’m so glad when daddy comes home. Glad as I can be. We all have dinner together (including Jack whose hobbit dinner is wearing off by then).
7:15 Mommy needs to freaking LAY DOWN
Dad usually plays a game of Hide and Seek with Jack, (his favorite thing). When Dad is exhausted we have family time by watching a couple of Fail videos on YouTube which our little one year old is all about tbh.
8:15 Bedtime routine
Jack gets a bath. Jammies. A book that he picks out. His teeth brushed while he tries to push you away. Family prayer. A song. Tucked in.
8:30 Bedtime
Now Mommy and Daddy can binge watch Catfish and eat the ice cream that we didn’t want to share with our son.
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