BLIPPI: Hey! You want to go on an adventure? … … … Awesome! Let’s go!

CASEY: How does Blippi have such good hearing? He can hear all the kids through the TV.

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ANDIE: Do you hear that smell?

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ME: Jack, can you carry your dirty clothes up the stairs?

JACK: No. I’m not an octopus.

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CASEY: Have you ever noticed that Skittles and MnMs are so similar? They must be best friends.

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Andie calls Cinnamon Toast “silly toast”. And I’m thinking they should remarket the entire brand as Silly Toast.

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JACK: Mom, I’m a vampire! I’m going to drink your blood! *pretends to bite me* Ooh, tastes like Mountain Dew.

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CASEY: Mom, why are you laying down?

MOM: I have a really bad migraine, Honey.

CASEY: Well, I got a worse news… I have the hiccups.

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When we told Andie she couldn’t watch The Nightmare Before Christmas, she flopped onto the floor and wailed out:

ANDIE: I just want my little, cute, spooky show!

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I told Jack about a time a coworker watched me doodle over my shoulder and asked me about it. And it was this big creative involved thing and I felt all embarrassed to tell them.

JACK: Mom, you should have told them, “None of your boogers”.

I’m adopting this phrase immediately haha.

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Andie has this stuffed dragon that she’s in love with. However, if you ask her, it is NOT a dragon. It’s a flying crocodile (“crock-a-dyger).

Jack hugged me and sniffed me hard.

ME: Do I stink?

JACK: Nah, you smell like shirt.

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I was laying with Casey, trying to help him fall asleep, when Dan started to make a sandwich in the kitchen. When Case heard the clatter of plates he sat straight up in bed.

CASEY: Wait, is it Christmas tomorrow?!?!

ME: *so confused* No… it’s June.

CASEY: Oh… I thought I heard Santa.

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ANDIE: *pointing to the Roomba* I scared dat robop. He tickle my feet.

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JACK: Mom, watch this YouTube short.

ME: ‘kay. *only half watching*

JACK: No, you gotta tell your vision to watch it.

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Casey started watching an ASMR video on the TV.

CASEY: She must know Andie’s napping and that’s why she’s being quiet.

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ANDIE: *pointing to Dan’s beard* Daddy your face is all dirty!

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If I don’t respond to the first “Mom” Casey will shout “VALERIE MANWILL” from across the playground.

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After I called Dan out for passing gas.

DAN: (annoyed) Mom keeps a record of everyone’s farts.

JACK: Well, Dad definitely has the 2024 world record for farts.

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Andie’s catchphrase for when things are crazy is “Oh GOSH a HECK!”

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Casey spelling out a swear word on the wall with bath blocks.

ME: Dude, don’t write that.

Casey quickly tears it down and yells at the sky:

CASEY: I’m sorry, Jesus! I love you!

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Andie reading a book on animals. First page is a water buffalo.

ANDIE: This is a Water Bubbabo.

Flips the page to see a Cheetah.

ANDIE: A cheeto! I love cheetos!

JACK: Mom, I was laying on my arm during the movie and now my hand feels funny.
ME: Your hand probably fell asleep.
JACK: Oh. uses his two fingers as little legs and walks across my lap Look it’s sleep walking.

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ME: Before we go to the store, do you remember? What are the rules?
CASEY: No whirling.
ME: …
CASEY: I mean no wandering.

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ANDIE: balancing on one foot Weeee! I going!

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DAN: talking to the kids Boys and girls, it’s time for bed.
CASEY: No, there’s just boys and ‘girl’. Not girls.
JACK: No, there’s one boy, one girl, points to himself and one man.

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ME: Tomorrow we’re going to the park with some friends.
CASEY: ALERT! I LOVE TOMORROW!

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Andie calls applesauce “Elsa-sauce”

POSSIBLE PIC

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JACK: When Dad gets home can we do tag with him?
ME: Sorry, baby, Daddy’s in Tennessee (for work).
JACK: Oh, that’s right. Dad’s on his field trip.

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CASEY: looking through my Nativity set and picks up the donkey Wow, cool, a horse! puts it down and picks up the camel Oh and a moose!

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CASEY: We’re not going to watch that because it’s too scary.
ANDIE: Yeah, scary is SO scary.

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JACK: Did you know monkeys always make themselves laugh because they tickle their own armpits?

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Casey has decided that one of his stuffies is now his girlfriend. And he writes the most dramatic and intense love letters to her.
CASEY: I love you one thousand percent. My heart is full of tears and love. I’m so uncomfortable without you being here next to me. When you get here I will get on my knees and say, ‘Heaven, thank you for sending her to my house.’ I will never forget about you in my whole life.

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ME: getting Andie out of her crib in the morning
ANDIE: Oh, hi, Mommy! I miss you!

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ME: Do you like being the oldest?
JACK: Yeah because I’m the funniest

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ANDIE: hat falls over her eyes Where I go?

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Casey insists on cosplaying as a different character multiple times a day. Some of his favorite costumes are The Wicked Witch of the West, Spiderman, Buzz Lightyear, and Blippi. But one day he decided he wanted to “dress up as me”. And all I gotta say is… WHY’D IT HAVE TO BE SO FREAKING ACCURATE?

The leggings, the Beatles shirt, the messy bun. wtf hahahaha