Kids Say the Darndest (Jan 2023)

CASEY: *pointing to a white rose* Is this a cactus?
ME: You need to get out of Arizona once and a while.

JACK: This is an easy one. What’s 100 + 80?
ME: I don’t know what?
JACK: 180!
ME: Ohhhh.
JACK: Here’s a harder one. What’s baby + daddy?
ME: What?
JACK: A baby daddy.
ME: Hahaha what?
JACK: See that was a harder one.

CAEY: (bawling his absolute eyes out) I need help!
ME: Help with what?
CASEY: To fart on Jack!

ME: Jack can you hand me that pillow on the floor?
JACK: *points to a wrapped up dirty diaper* This?
ME: … No dude.

CASEY: I’m so sweaty! I’m one billion sweaty!

Jack takes his first sip of Mountain Dew ever.

JACK: This tastes like a yellow charge.

Casey has THE cutest habit of accidentally substituting a word for a different word. For example:

CASEY: Mom, watch out. That stick is so, so shark.


CASEY: Mom, I have a new toy car.

ME: Oh, did Daddy tell you what it was?

CASEY: Yes it’s a porch car. I love my new porch.

We were trying to explain crushes to Jack (after his friend brought it up in the car).

ME: A crush is when you love someone so much and they are so special.

DAD: Do you have a crush on someone?

JACK: (thinks a bit) Yes. My crush is baby Andie.

CASEY: (taking giant steps) Prints. Prints. Prints. Prints.
ME: What are you doing?
CASEY: I’m leaving all my footprints on the floor see?
ME: (laughing) You’re so cute!
CASEY: I’m not cute. But flowers are!

Randomly during dinner, Jack blurts out

JACK: That would be so hard if everyone in the world was a baby.

*Dan and I talking in 2014*

ME: What do you think our kids are going to be like?

DAN: I hope they have the very best qualities of both you and I.


CASEY: (running around with his matchbox cars) I’m a bad guy I’m going to get away from the police! You can’t put me in jail! I’m gonna fart attack you! Pbbbbbtttth! Heh heh heh now you’re all icky! (high pitched voice) Oh no! Call the ambulance! We need a mechanic! We’re all farted!

One Week Resolution Challenges

So I decided to try something new this year for “Resolutions”. Instead of coming up with some radical change that I won’t keep up on throughout the year, why don’t I challenge myself to a radical change for one week in the month of January? For some reason it just works for my brain. I think it’s because the ending makes it “a fun challenge”? Like more of a game with less pressure?

So these are the week challenges that I came up with. (Also try to refrain from judging me too much. I just struggle with these specific things even when others don’t.)

Week One – January 1st – 7th: WAKE UP EVERYDAY AT SIX O’CLOCK

So, I’m a bit lucky. My children have been very well trained with this magic dog alarm clock (here is the link, I highly highly recommend this or it’s equivalent.) So they know not to come out of their room before seven o’clock. On the weekends after seven o’clock, they tend to cuddle in our beds and play on their tablets. So sleeping in isn’t totally unheard of at our house.
And I know you’re like wait, excuse me, don’t you have a five month old? Yes, I do. She’s a miraculous child who often sleeps in until nine or nine thirty. She really loves to sleep I don’t know. It’s incredible.
HOWEVER… I know I would be a lot more productive and get to spend better quality time with my children if I woke up earlier.
If I got up at six, I could potentially clean or write before my children even leave their rooms. (At first idea, I was going to challenge myself to wake up at six and ‘go for a run around the neighborhood’. But it’s winter. So it’s really cold and pitch black at six. Maybe I can do another challenge month in the summer… when my excuse for not doing it can be that it’s one hundred degrees outside haha!)
One of my biggest qualms for waking up early… okay, besides the fact that my natural rhythm seems to be that of a teenager… is that I would have to go to bed earlier. And that cuts into my best friend time with Dan. You know what I mean? Like after the kids go to sleep that’s OUR time.

Week Two – January 8th – 14th: NO SUGAR OR CHEESE

Not to sound so American, but I have no idea what I’m even going to eat haha! I’m just going to try my best with the no sugar thing. I know there’s added sugar in almost everything here like even milk. So I think that’s okay for this particular challenge. Like if I have some ketchup or whatever and that has sugar in it. That’s okay as long as I’m aware and trying NOT to eat sugar. I think if I meal plan this week. I’ll be okay. It’s just a week… right?

It’s going to really hard haha! I am legitimately addicted to sugar. So I’m going to plan on having a lot of natural sugars in the house like fruits I can snack on when I get those cravings. And healthy salty alternatives.
Just… pray for me. Hahaha

Week Three – January 15th – 21st: TAKE MY KIDS OUT EVERY SINGLE DAY

A lot of parents don’t seem to have this problem. But keep in mind that I am a hermit basement dweller writer type. I am such a homebody that maybe the home is actually my body and I’m just an organ of it (short story idea?!?!?). But I do see this as something that my kids would benefit a little bit from. Particularly my four-year-old who is not in school yet and gets REALLY BORED during the day. So I do aspire to give him more structure. I don’t know WHY taking little kids out and about gives me so much anxiety but dang it, I’m going to fight this. And I’m going to prove to myself after this week that I can TOTALLY DO IT!*
*Saying this now or forever hold my peace. If I or any of the kids get sick, this challenge will be rescheduled. We’re not spreading germs or forcing our bodies to overdo it.


This is most likely an ADHD disability. Which has been really painful for me, since stories are my greatest love in life. I either hyper focus and burst read or the most common problem for me is starting and not finishing a book. Of course, the horrific TBR pile, which for me is an entire bookcase. So I really WANT to overcome this problem in my life. It would improve my craft tremendously and I know that I would really enjoy being able to participate more as an audience in the written word.
So I’m planning on trying a routine. Every day for seven days. What that routine will look like, I’m not sure yet because I have teeny little kids at home, but I feel fairly confident that it might include Audio books. I’m hoping that whatever it is, I can prove to myself that it’s doable and incorporate more of it into my daily life.

These are all my challenges. I will check back in February to tell you how they went. And just in general, how week long challenges were vs. indefinite resolutions. Because I wasn’t totally kidding about a second summer challenge month IF this deems itself to be a successful venture.

What I’m Getting My Kids for Christmas 2022

I always love the “What I got my kids for Christmas” vlogs. But I don’t want to make a vlog because my kids would inevitably see that. But I realized I had never really done that on my blog before (uhhh that I can remember. Did you know that I’ve had my blog for more than five years now??? CRAZY)
SO ANYWAY, I wrote it down on my list of things to potentially write about.
But… I didn’t realize that in writing it…. I would have to expose the truth about myself…

That I’m a little crazy about Christmas.

“A little”.

So here’s the truth. I LOVE BEING SANTA. SANTA FOR DAYZZZZZZ. CHRISTMAS PRESENTS FOR DAYS!!! I started planning this after my birthday in August! My Amazon Christmas list was finished by September. I had it shared with the grandmas by October LET’S GOOOOOOO HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALLLLLLLLL. HO HO HOOOOOOO

I have a whole dang tier system this year.


Customized stockings with their names on it filled with fidget toys, candy, “Cat’s Vs. Pickles”! Matching woodland creature jammies! A new everyday outfit. Actually MAKE THAT TWO! I’m getting my six year old a LankyBox T-shirt AND Unspeakable shirt. There is no YouTuber too irritating for Christmas this year! My four year old gets a BabyBus Rescue Team tee AND a shirt with a “shivering snowman” on it (his seasonal obsession).


We got coloring books. We got toy bugs. We got water balloons even though it’s freezing outside. You want Aaron Reynolds?? We got Creepy Carrots AND Creepy Crayon! We got a new soccer ball AND net! We got a big magic mat you can draw on with water markers! You never played with a Stomp Rocket before?? WELL NOW YOU CAN!! AFTER YOU PLAY ANTS IN THE PANTS AND DON’T SPILL THE BEANS!!


I don’t care that all you asked for is a watch and a single car. YOU’RE GETTING A TOY LAPTOP AND A MAZE BOOK TOO! And both of y’all need new shoes. So how about Mario on the right foot and Luigi on the left! How about a pair of CONSTRUCTION CAR SHOES! And then a car that you can take apart like the mini mechanic you are! Just because you’re six months old doesn’t mean you shouldn’t get this COOL MONTESSORI TISSUE BOX, where each pretend crinkly tissue is a different theme. Or how about a toy fabric oven with a squeaky cookie inside?!


Oh so you love those irritating YouTubers so much you wanna be one? Well DADDY GOT YOU A KIDDIE INFLUENCER CAMERA SET! And you haven’t had enough cars yet? GOOD! DADDY GOT YOU A WHOLE POLICE INTERACTIVE STATION Hey, baby girl I hope you like your ENTIRE NEW WARDROBE!